love is sacrifice - but to what extent is it right?

Canis lupus

Canis lupus

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i've had this question in my head for a while but haven't been able to for it (if that makes sence). i was told that love is sacrifice, but i want to know if you can go to far with that. i've given alot to a person i loved, tried to help them in every way i could, given up my happyness to make them happy. i probably sound like i'm being over dramatic, but i gave them so much of myself i had little left. i sacraficed for them, and hurt myself in many ways. is this moral right? part of me says yes: people like the saints gave there lives for love of god. they sacraficed everything: why shouldn't i? then part of me says no, its not right, because it was selfdestruction.

i believe that love is sacrafice. i guess my question is: to what extent is it morally right to sacrafice yourself out of love?
 
I don"t know if it's a moral question or not. I think there is some sacrifice but i feel like you should not be giving yourself up in order to just make it work. It should just flow naturally.
 
i believe that love is two people coming together to make something more, not make something less. if you're giving up your happiness for it, then what is the point - isn't it supposed to make you happy? but there are as many different definitions of love as there are human beings and love is whatever you believe it to be.
 
Sacrifice is ok to a level you both are comfortable with, I don't really like 1 person being more sacrificial than the other, to me, it just doesn't seem right. Unless the other is really ill amongst other things of course. Or if you really want to, but if your really going out of your way to a point where you are not comfortable with it, I don't see that as a good thing personally.
 
There is the belief that in a relationship, there is no such thing as both loving equally. But you won't have to sacrifice to the extent that you feel it is such a wrong thing to do. Love does require many sacrifices though. Perhaps you could talk things through with your partner.
 
x2 On just about everything said so far. Losing yourself for love just does not make sense.
 
Canis lupus said:
i've had this question in my head for a while but haven't been able to for it (if that makes sence). i was told that love is sacrifice, but i want to know if you can go to far with that. i've given alot to a person i loved, tried to help them in every way i could, given up my happyness to make them happy. i probably sound like i'm being over dramatic, but i gave them so much of myself i had little left. i sacraficed for them, and hurt myself in many ways. is this moral right? part of me says yes: people like the saints gave there lives for love of god. they sacraficed everything: why shouldn't i? then part of me says no, its not right, because it was selfdestruction.

i believe that love is sacrafice. i guess my question is: to what extent is it morally right to sacrafice yourself out of love?
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Yeah, growing up most if not all were taught that. Sacrifice is not a bad thing. Rather it's the motive for the sacrifice, how much and to what extent we can and should give. If you truly love someone, you will want to sacrifice something for them. Because for many, love is not about what they can get but what they want to give because of how they feel about someone.

of course, what we sacrifice matters. If you sacrifice who you are entirely and receive no personal satisfaction or benefit, that's not good. And if you sacrifice so much that you put yourself in an abusive situation or place yourself in a position which suggests that you deserve less than the best, that's not so good either.

Sacrifice can teach selflessness, which i believe is good, since its usually easier to think more of the self and fulfilling personal needs than to think of others. i think love will involve sacrifice but what kind of sacrifice and how much to sacrifice are really the question.
 
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Maybe we only sacrifice our egos by giving love and that in itself is a spiritual win.
 
True love is no sacrifice at all. It is the constant comforted flow of unfiltered emotion, free of abuse.
 
Wyote said:
True love is no sacrifice at all. It is the constant comforted flow of unfiltered emotion, free of abuse.
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♥♥♥

Though my life experience tells me otherwise, the core of my idealist soul still agrees with you 100%.
 
It's just like your idea on being happy. It's not a place you reach, love is not a destination but a series of points in your life that you experience.

The idea is, with practice you increase the number of experiences and find somebody who is compatible with making them more frequent for the both of you.
 
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Canis lupus said:
i've had this question in my head for a while but haven't been able to for it (if that makes sence). i was told that love is sacrifice, but i want to know if you can go to far with that. i've given alot to a person i loved, tried to help them in every way i could, given up my happyness to make them happy. i probably sound like i'm being over dramatic, but i gave them so much of myself i had little left. i sacraficed for them, and hurt myself in many ways. is this moral right? part of me says yes: people like the saints gave there lives for love of god. they sacraficed everything: why shouldn't i? then part of me says no, its not right, because it was selfdestruction.

i believe that love is sacrafice. i guess my question is: to what extent is it morally right to sacrafice yourself out of love?
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Too much sacrifice leads to resentment and if you have your sights set on being a saint, it's going to take a lot of denial to ignore that resentment, ultimately creating and perpetuating misery for both parties... Because none of us are saints.

But I can understand wanting to find a spiritual answer to what love is.

I think 1 Corinthians 13:4 is an amazing passage to reference for believers and even non-believers.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
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If a person doesn't treat you with kindness and respect and dignity, then there is no point sacrificing anything for them. Love isn't about being unhappy and miserable..quite the opposite.
Some sacrifices are good and others are bad. It doesn't sound like the sacrifices you are having to make are good ones since you are so unhappy about it.
You can't make a relationship work on your own. It's a mutual process. And if you're in a relationship in which you find you are unable to be who you want to be and live the life you want to live--then it is not the right relationship for you and no amount of sacrifices will make it so.
 
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Must be talking about eros love. So many kinds out there. Love and fear: the big two. Sacrificial living is a way of life for some. The one sacrificing knows when it is too much if it ever is.
 
canis lupus said:
i was told that love is sacrifice
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No! That's not true! It can be a sacrifice though... if you choose it to be so... you see, love is a way of experience. Love as a sacrifice is a very immature way I wouldn't choose for myself. I would choose something like: love is fulfilling my potential.


canis lupus said:
i probably sound like i'm being over dramatic
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I don't really get along with that phrase, I ve heard it before from another native english speaker and I don't know why that has a bad meaning.

canis lupus said:
is this moral right? part of me says yes: people like the saints gave there lives for love of god.
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This part of you is not very sharp, isn't it? (I am joking, don't take offence). You are not a saint. And you are not struggling for the love of God. You have a simpler mission on this Earth, and this probably involves you getting adored.
canis lupus said:
then part of me says no, its not right, because it was selfdestruction.
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well, that part is better... but it probably makes conclusions after experience with the wrong mates.

canis lupus said:
to what extent is it morally right to sacrafice yourself out of love?
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to extent you are not doing something otherwise morally wrong. I mean: first, see what it feels good for you, then try to see the outcomes for everybody involved, then create some values and follow them... But these values must include self esteem.
good luck :mhula:
 
I've been married for 34 years and in love for 35 years. Our love has made us more, not less. I just don't see where sacrifice has anything to do with love. At least, not in our experience, thank goodness.
 
I think it is best to think in terms of compromise. Compromise involves sacrifice in some ways but not in terms of one giving for another. Compromise is a process involving two people making decisions about what is important and such. Sacrifice involves one person bowing to another's needs before their own. Compromise is about we and us. Sacrifice is about me and you.
 
middle1 said:
Maybe we only sacrifice our egos by giving love and that in itself is a spiritual win.
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In my view, middle is on to something--the sacrifice of our egos. This may not be really possible in human expression, but perhaps when ego takes a back seat then we are not as concerned about how it should be done or holding up ideals of living perfect love to strive toward. To my view, that striving is very likely to be about building and supporting a sense of ego rather than loving. Maybe if the sacrifice is of our egos then we are freed to truly love and that love finds a natural balance that sustains both.
 
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