Life Plan

[BritNi]

I'll be 32 this year.
I have no biological children and I'm single.

I have no plan what-so-ever.

I'm trying not to get worked up about it.

I'm just living life, one day at a time.

No fuss, no fight.
All I need is my self, my mind, clothes, food, shelter, my dog, and good hygiene from now until the day I day.

 

[mintoots]

My weaknesses are when I spiral into overthinking mode and I can spend hours ruminating over something that hasn't happened, has happened but I wish it went differently, or when I'm lost in my own thoughts. I make a lot of a plans for the future, but the problem is taking action because I've never been sure if its something that I actually wanted. I'm so concerned with getting it right that I sometimes miss the bus. In fact, just the amount of time I spend thinking about something is abhorrent. lol

My strengths are when I get sick of myself and just take massive action. Most of the things I have achieved originated with me waking up one day and saying to myself: fuck this. This is my decision. I'm not looking back. I just go... I don't have a plan (I get hung up on plans), I just get up and start doing random shit moving in some general direction and eventually the momentum carries me somewhere where I wake up and I realize, hey, I'm a completely different person.

The trouble is, I don't know how to activate that super-decision mode other than getting realllly frustrated with myself. lol

EDIT: That being said, I have gotten better at enjoying my present moment more. I try to focus on what's fun or special or what I'm learning if I'm struggling with something. I am happier for it.

This. All of this. More than activation, I don't know how to sustain it in normal patterns and not in surges. Other people are so disciplined and I feel so random at times, but oddly when I check I'm still on schedule.

Weakness is when I care less because something can rot smelling bad but if I don't care, I just don't. Thankfully, I often care.

 

[mintoots]

I once had a plan, like everybody else has and it did not turn out how I thought it would. Then I stopped to make plans.

Sounds silly but if you think about it the only “thing” between you and being present here and now is that “PLAN”. What is this plan that we all refer to? Well, it is not a thing nor a single thought but a need to fill an empty gap that we feel within us for not truly being that what / which we truly are.

I used to be ambitious and wanted to achieve some more advanced state in my life. Went on dreaming how I could build companies and bursted with new innovations. But once I reached that state of mind which could be described as “clarity” or 4K HD -mode, all those plans I used to create and dream of seemed so silly and juvenile.

After that realization my life seemed perfect as it is. I decided to cut down my working hours and focused on my personal economy. I made an investment strategy to buy some land and to build a self-sufficient home where I could live more freely. I no more had to work and earn money to spend it on silly things or pay off some debts but instead I could choose to work because I love to create and build things with my hands. I did not have to be a manager or CEO to feel myself worthy of something. Just by being a carpenter my life seemed to have a purpose and meaning. I work as little as possible so that I can enjoy and experience life as much as possible.

My main plan now is to have as few musts and plans as possible in my life so that I have plenty of time to do what ever I feel like doing. It does not have to mean huge expenses. Just more time to be spent with my friends, family, loved ones and foremost with myself.

Food, clothes, shelter and art. That is all I need to feel content and happy.

Beautiful. Amen. I

too had grand ambitions once until it all collapsed on me. Paralysis in analysis until I just failed. Boom. Fell flat on my face, complete rock bottom. The irony of it was that it was precisely my overanalysis and my anxiety that brought me to my failure. I was just extremely exhausted at making it work. I know that fuck it decision inertia game and once or twice in my life it lead me to obligations too damn heavy for my puny self and my self doubt just paralyzed me in anxiety and then failed. Funny thing was I knew it was also my fuck this fear attitude that brought me to failure. When all the cards were falling down, I watched them as though I knew exactly what was happening. I even had a game plan to respond to failure. Weird. I knew what was happening and I watched it all happen without lifting a finger simultaneously saying fuck you all.

And like you, I threw out all plans then lived day to day. I locked myself in my home, planted herb from herb on a daily basis until I started to function professionally again. Whatever came my way, I just fuck it and wing it. I have never been the same since then. Now, I have general plans - these general ideas of where I want to be a few years from now but I try not to stress myself out in achieving them. i have a few mid range projects but i take my time if I have to. I honor deadlines on somethings. I don't honor it on others. For example this oil painting that I've been working on has been sitting on my desk for almost a year now but I have no plans of finishing it nor any idea of what it will look like when it will finish. It will tell me if it's finished. Right now it's just waiting.

True, unless plagued with a concrete deadline, I will most likely toy with something. For example, I often finish a project a few days before a deadline but I don't completely finish it until right a few seconds. I like to think I gave it my best that way. Mehe.

 

[TheFool]

Forgot to mention. I got the kids, two of them but not the wife nor the pet. I tried it, tasted it and concluded that it was not a trip to be walked for me.

We all think that, that path with kids, wife, education, house, car, pets, etc is an ideal that ought to be strived for..

From the capitalistic point of view it makes sense but it will never make you truly happy and content. It creates stress, anxiety, jealousy, unhappiness and short blips of joy but it will never give a true sense of satisfaction. It can’t since if you were satisfied you would stop consuming, improving yourself and reaching for new goals, the system would fail. The system that is utilizes perfectly your animalistic urges and instincts and prevents you from seeing clearly.

Been there done that and it was not for me and has never been. I love my own sovereignty of my own mind and life. I do things the society has long tried to keep me from doing and I feel free when I do them.

My plan to happiness has always been freedom.

 

[Sayuchito]

There is a two things that I need in my life, to be happy:
- satisfying job, to have a roof over the head
- love

I'm young person and for now, I don't have a big plans for future (future is even kinda scary for me to thing about it). Now my priority is finish the school and education, but for that I have some years to do that.

 

[ThomasJ79]

I had many plans years ago, many of which fell through. I spent a lot of time dreaming and thinking and not enough time doing. I've had to make a lot of modifications when I wasn't able to accomplish what I dreamed of accomplishing. That's ok. That's life. I still feel like I'm following an inner vision and as long as I follow that I can never be lost. I feel like I'm forever discovering what that is.

Now what I want is to Love those I love with all of my heart. I want them to know it, to feel it. I want to be loved by them as well. I also want to pass things on so I can be remembered in some way.

 

[Pin]

Forgot to mention. I got the kids, two of them but not the wife nor the pet. I tried it, tasted it and concluded that it was not a trip to be walked for me.

That's fair.

We all think that, that path with kids, wife, education, house, car, pets, etc is an ideal that ought to be strived for..

I'm one of those people.

From the capitalistic point of view it makes sense but it will never make you truly happy and content. It creates stress, anxiety, jealousy, unhappiness and short blips of joy but it will never give a true sense of satisfaction. It can’t since if you were satisfied you would stop consuming, improving yourself and reaching for new goals, the system would fail. The system that is utilizes perfectly your animalistic urges and instincts and prevents you from seeing clearly.

I'm certain that's true.

However, it is a necessary sacrifice. Without the institution of marriage we'd have a promiscuous society. The institution of family would erode, at least the nuclear family. Time would probably give way to extended families, I don't think that is a sufficient replacement.

I think that the nuclear family is the best.

Been there done that and it was not for me and has never been. I love my own sovereignty of my own mind and life. I do things the society has long tried to keep me from doing and I feel free when I do them.

My plan to happiness has always been freedom.

Fortunately you are a father.

 

[ThomasJ79]

I've been thinking about this some more today. I always had a difficult time focusing on what I want to pursue because I get so focused on relationships and the happiness of those I love that I often forget about what it is I want or what I should be doing. If they are going through a difficult time it really weights on my heart and makes me quite sad. If some of these people get upset and angry over little things, it can have a negative affect on my mood and distract me. I seem to really absorb what is going on around me. If it is really positive I do really well and I'm focused more on achievement and goals. If it is negative I end up feeling more depressed and lose focus. I know it is not good to be this way, which is why creating boundaries is something I've been working on, but it is difficult for me. This is why I find working on achievement goals frustrating because unfortunate events keep coming into my life and I find it difficult to push through them. This is one of the reasons I would rather focus on the happiness of others. If I can improve their mood, they will be positive, and so will I.

 

[Ginny]

I have struggled for a long time to come up with a life goal. I kept putting it off, saying I'm still studying, there's time for that later.

Then with the trouble of getting a job that I'm qualified for, I have ended up trapped in a big pile of soul sucking misery that I'm trying to get out of. But now I have a goal and a way of acheiving it. In the meantime, I can only wait out the worst period until the change happens that makes my moving forward possible.

In the end, I hope to be in a position that allows me to grow (or at least be myself), at best to make a difference in my chosen field, but at least to live as I please.

 

[TheFool]

That's fair.


I'm one of those people.

I'm certain that's true.

However, it is a necessary sacrifice. Without the institution of marriage we'd have a promiscuous society. The institution of family would erode, at least the nuclear family. Time would probably give way to extended families, I don't think that is a sufficient replacement.

I think that the nuclear family is the best.

Fortunately you are a father.

It is not the marriage that I see as problem but the need to earn, buy and achieve when it comes to the family part. Nuclear family is one the most beautiful thing one can experience. But unfortunately many of us are very fixed on the materialistic part of family life..

I am soon to be 34 and my kids are 10 and 11. I was quite young when I became father. I thought I knew what I wanted in my life but after few years it became clear that the standard model of family was not for me. I was a rebel, an outcast of some kind I guess. I still yearned for love but a deeper one, that soul touching one.

Now as I am older, I no longer yearn for love. Love is a part of me, not an object out there to be strived for. I need no partner but I am not saying never. If I meet the one, which I am sure I will, I am happy to share my life with. It is just that we need to be on the same plane, the one that turns our backs against norms of our society. We shall be wild again!

 

[Pin]

Your so ambitious and focused that you'll add a great deal to this thread.

Thank you!

 

[Gregarino]

This stems from a tangent in the "Having Children After 35" thread.

This thread is about life goals, why we shouldn't put them off, how we can work on making big and small goals happen, and how to "live in the present".

As a forward-thinking, "stuck in my head" INFJ I know I have trouble living in the present, but I'm also good at organizing my life to put goals within reach. What about you? What are your tricks to planning, living in the moment and achieving goals? What are your weaknesses in this realm?

As a procrastinator it took me a long time to realise that procrastination is a result of a lack of emotional control. Control your emotions in particular change how you feel about the tasks you have to do and the procrastination goes right away.

In terms of goals, start small by breaking down big goals into more manageable steps. That way you acheive success every hour of every day by getting stuff done. Don't put it off, do it now! Good luck

 

[Asa]

As a procrastinator it took me a long time to realise that procrastination is a result of a lack of emotional control. Control your emotions in particular change how you feel about the tasks you have to do and the procrastination goes right away.

In terms of goals, start small by breaking down big goals into more manageable steps. That way you acheive success every hour of every day by getting stuff done. Don't put it off, do it now! Good luck

That's a really interesting perspective on procrastination. I like it.

 

[Vict]

I'm into lists. Little outlines of what to do, and if it needs to be done by a certain point. Sometimes they're sacrosanct, sometimes forgotten.

Or you know, just going for experiences. Fun stuff, interesting stuff. Moments away from a fucking list.

I guess a little from column A, a little from column B.

 

[Pin]

I'm so fucking impatient.

Hurry up, life.

 

[Ren]

I'm so fucking impatient.

Hurry up, life.

I’m too patient.

At some point life will be over and I’ll be like “oh no, wait, I’m not done with open monism!”

 

[Pin]

I’m too patient.

At some point life will be over and I’ll be like “oh no, wait, I’m not done with open monism!”

You will be when I destroy the world!

Spoiler

 

[Ren]

You will be when I destroy the world!

Spoiler

Hey wait, don’t kill me pls

 

[just me]

When we get much older, survival becomes a good thing to seek. Invest in life insurance young, for your spouse. They do not have disease insurance, so to speak.
Can't work, can't sleep; no doubt, you're in deep. Palliative care becomes a useful study.

 

[David54]

to quote John Lennon: Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans