Knowing others better than they do | INFJ Forum

Knowing others better than they do

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Eniko, Aug 16, 2009.

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  1. Eniko

    Eniko May snark if provoked
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    Anyone ever get this? This feeling that everything adds up to someone feeling a certain way, but being unable to put it into words in a coherent way? And then the person denies it, and way later it comes out that they did feel that way and you were right all along?

    Happens suspiciously often to me! And I'm starting to feel less and less guilty for listening to my intuition rather than listening to what people claim, as 9 times out of 10 - if not more often than that - I wind up being right anyway.
     
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  2. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    Yeah I get this a lot. But people don't like to be told how they feel, so I keep quiet and be all like "Oh really?" when they confirm what I already knew.
     
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  3. rainrise

    rainrise Community Member

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    i'm rather hesitant to articulate these intuitive gists as they more often than not, as Yield already pointed out, result in sometimes strong defensive reactions from people. mostly, i've learned to trust my intuition as it in itself is as good a confirmation as milking it out of people, especially in regards to sensitive areas they would otherwise not want pointed out.
     
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  4. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    I get these moments when I know if a storm is brewing. I also know when someone is gonna reply to message or not. Like, there was something in the pattern before hand that makes me instinctively know if someone will reply or confirm correspondence to me. Once I've sent a text or email to someone I've been talking too, I'll know if they're going to reply or not, I just get this feeling in my stomach. Strange.
     
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  5. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    I do tend to know people better than most, actually. I don't really notice it, or talk about it, but when it comes to giving people advice or talking to someone about the way the feel or the way someone else feels, I'm usually able to actually explain them to them.

    It's times like that where I realize that not everyone knows why the people around them do the things they do. It seems strange to me, cuz ever since I was a kid I would know without having to think about it.
     
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  6. My life is driven by this kind of intuition.

    And despite my years, it never ceases to amaze me how insanely defensive people as a species can get, even when the proof is staring them right in the face. Denial seems to be a constant in at least 90% of people.

    My problem is I'm very strongly opinionated when it comes to dishonesty and a lack of empathy, and if I feel like someone is doing something I think is wrong, I have a heavy tendency to confront them with it.

    It rarely goes down well, but at least it means I know who my real friends are.
     
    #6 Deleted member 1391, Aug 16, 2009
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  7. Nela

    Nela Community Member

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    Yes! This happens to me al lot. But I usually don't mention anything about it, because as others have already said, I've also experienced that people don't like it.
     
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  8. slant

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    What I've noticed is that if you are trying to solve a problem, it is wisest NOT to give them options to chose from. In other words, don't ask them if they think this way or that way. What ends up happening is the person says yes- and they may not even think that way, I believe it's some sort of natural inclination to take something that would logically make sense and claim it as what they are thinking in that present moment.
     
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  9. Faye

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    Things like this sometimes happen to me, and then I get the "wow, you're psychic!". Um, no.... you're easy to read.
     
  10. slant

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    Heheh you INFJs can't trick me, it doesn't work.
     
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  11. OP
    Eniko

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    Wow, I had a feeling you guys would have experienced the same, but I'm still a little impressed by the amount of responses!

    And yeah, it's like you can never voice this stuff. The target of your intuition tends to be in denial (actively or by being unaware how they feel even though you already know) and react defensively if you say anything. And if you tell any third party then they just sort of disbelieve you because you have no hard evidence and the person in question has denied it.

    The annoying thing is when eventually what I predicted comes out way later and people start telling me about it like I didn't know! Usually I just snidely respond with something like "yeah, uhh, how is that even news to anyone?" to indicate that I called it waaaaay ahead of time.

    It's like a blessing and a curse all at once. You know what's going to happen but you can't use that knowledge to influence anything but your own actions!
     
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  12. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    Yeah but then everyone thinks your an asshole. That's why I don't say anything anymore!
     
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  13. OP
    Eniko

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    They can think that all they want, I think they're assholes for not listening me in the first place! :D
     
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  14. Nela

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    I think it's great. It's like my fun little secret. :mhula: Actually when I see that me saying something can influence a situation that's going the wrong way, I usually find a way to make myself clear not sounding too uhm.. creepily mind reading :D. I don't really seem to experience disadvantages from it.
     
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  15. Sloshy Joshy

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    This happens to me all the time and usually would get me into hot water as I would blurt out what I noticed as it entered my mind. Now that I'm older I've gotten used to keeping it to myself and using it to my advantage. No one appreciates it so I've decided to use it for my gain.
     
  16. foureyes

    foureyes Community Member

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    I think I know what you guys are talking about to some extent. But you can't just expect someone to listen to you just because of your intition, that's not a good reason and they don't believe you because they don't personally feel that way.
    An example from my life is that my sister INTP is always falling for the wrong types of guys. She's really into guys she percieves as intellegent and charming and attractive but some of these guys I can see through how its just an act and really they're jerks who'll ewnd up using her and hurting her. But however all the do is act charming and nice so I have no proof when I try to tell my sister that they're a bad match. And then its soo painful and frusturating when she does end up hurt but I can't blame her for not going against her own feelings to listen to my intuition.
     
  17. foureyes

    foureyes Community Member

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    Oh wait this is about getting others to understand themselves not other ppl. sry wasn't paying attention. Nvm then. I don't get this I don't think.
     
  18. OP
    Eniko

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    Your's is still a valid anecdote, actually. I have trouble convincing people of what's going on with someone else too, so it's kind of the same. You just know something about someone, but you can't make anyone agree about it.

    Even after I run the "symptoms" past people step by step, it's like it's plain as day that 1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1=10, but they still don't see it! So frustrating.
     
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  19. IndigoSensor

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    This is a very consistant theme in my life. I lost count on how many friends end up coming back to me saying "...you were right". I don't want to say that I know people better them they know themselves, because everyone knows themselves best. But... I do know some people very very well.

    The ironic thing is if someone tries to tell me how I am I get very very defensive.
     
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  20. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    I get defensive too, a lot of the time. I'm trying to work out that part of myself.
     
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