Judge of character

I think I've read several times that INFJs can sense authenticity or lack of sincerity (phony) in people.

It's something that bothers me a lot personally
Being around or respecting people who compliment you when they don't mean it. Even if their intentions are good, I still can't seem to stand it. I've had people say they like all the same things as me or they think I do good work, when what they just want is attention or to try to get me to talk to them. They just come off as intensely obnoxious

And then how they react, when you don't give them what they want... !As if those 'tricks' really work on people.

I thought maybe everybody can sense this, but I seemed to be the only one in my class who thought someone was a fake. I couldn't get any support though since everybody fell for all of her lies and flattery...

 

I don't know, really. I thought I would be a good judge of character, but in my experiences thus far, people can really surprise you. I've learned to stay on my toes but give everyone the benefit of a doubt.

 

I'm with DaringHatTrick on this one. Except I've learned that I'm too gullible to be a great judge of character. I think probably 95% of the time I'm good though. I don't know the answer really. How about you? What traits have you seen through this forum?

I've noticed that people on this forum (so far) are sensitive, poetic, inspired, and thoughtful.

 

I think so, in general. But I'm also a lot more cautious than almost everyone I know, and it takes me a LONG time to fully trust people, so I think I'm rarely surprised.

 

I can relate to bits of what pretty much everyone has said so far. Im not the greatest judge of character. I've had friends I trusted who ended up being completely untrustworthy. On the flip side I have judged some people as fake, to find out later that they are not being fake, they really are that nice! I wish I could take people at face value, but some people are so shady, and I've been hurt so much in the past, that I keep my guard up now. Im pretty much always trying to figure out what people's motives are, not necessarily judging, just observing.

 

I am really good at judging character in others, if they fit into a predetermined template. While 90% of people do, there is a small group that don't. With them, I will likely judge their character horribly.

 

INFJs can be uncannily perceptive with people. They can also let there emotional wounds get in the way of their perceptions, or their biases or what have you.

It is a bit of a mixed bag.

 

To everyone who says they are not a good judge of character,
has got the wrong impressions of people...

Do you ever wonder why you had been attracted to those persons in the first place? Since a lot of you mention they were friends


Maybe you had judged them on something other than kindness, that they had a lot of
and it made you want to befriend them

 

Same here!! I've been hurt so much lately and it's probably for the same reasons you have described. It's hard sometimes to tell the real fake friends from the friends who you think are fake, but end up being "good people" when you get to know them better. I'm having a hard time trusting people lately. Hopefully, time will tell who's real and who's fake through different coincidences that will show their true colors and intentions in having a friendship/relationship last or not.

 

Honestly, I don't know anymore. It's only recently that I'm beginning to question my abilities judging people's motives. I always believed I was good at reading people and their intentions, but considering the events of the past year or so I'm beginning to doubt that. I've been disappointed, hurt and let down numerous times by people I trusted and cared about, all in a very short period of time. I relate to the previous post regarding trusting people. I can't seem to get myself to trust anyone anymore, because of this. So much so that I'm beginning to think I'm actually not a good judge of character at all. It left me disillusioned.

 

Some people are hard to read. I tend to get involved in them out of curiosity. I judge people on sight and can tell much more easily if someone is "certainly good" than "certainly bad". I can feel wary around people because I know there's something dodgy about them but often I don't listen to my guts and get screwed over anyway.

Sometimes "dodgy" is attractive, no? No. You're right. I probably have deep-seated issues.

 

Yes, i am infj and can judge situation very well. But, i don't know about other INFJs. I can understand what is the situation and how i should respond to it.