Is this typically INFJ... or is it just me?

[aerosol]

First off, I've read that INFJ's tend to be afraid of conflict and bad with money. That is not true for me. I will intentionally seek conflict and I make enemies really easily. And I'm super frugal.

Okay, on to the real topic of this thread: I am extremely perfectionist in my behaviour. I get very restless and anxious due to this. It's to a point where I am always trying to change myself and my life for the better, sometimes going to extreme lengths. One example: I've been in Chicago for 6 months now. I kinda like it, but I miss nyc so now I have anxiety over not being in the "right" city, a.k.a. the most ideal city. Nevermind the fact that I don't know anyone in nyc and that I could not afford to live there... So I try to imagine how I could possibly move to nyc and make it work, and at the same time trying to maintain life here in Chicago. Doing this, I do not appreciate what I have in the present.... all it makes me do is fret about the future. Any advice on how to handle this better?
I also obsess over my apparence. If I have no make-up on and if my hair is not fixed my whole personality changes. I do not want to be seen, I just try to avoid everyone and my mood goes down. It happens because I'm so aware that people treat you different based on how you look, and I don't wanna have to deal with that. If that makes sense...

 

[Jana]

Infj, perfecionist and worrin over the future? Nooooo
I found this infj prayer a long time ago on net

INFJ: Lord help me not be a perfectionist. (did I spell that correctly?)

 

[Jana]

Doing this, I do not appreciate what I have in the present.... all it makes me do is fret about the future. Any advice on how to handle this better?

For me was helpful to stop and try to see things from different point of view.To make things more relative...Sometimes reasons from being worried just in my head. I also find talking to 2 types of person helpful
1.someone like me, obsesive worrier (not always)
2. someone different, SP types are good fo calming down, especially ISXPs

 

[Arsal]

INFJs are perfectionists, in a sense, but what you're describing is garden-variety anxiety.

I also obsess over my apparence. If I have no make-up on and if my hair is not fixed my whole personality changes. I do not want to be seen, I just try to avoid everyone and my mood goes down. It happens because I'm so aware that people treat you different based on how you look, and I don't wanna have to deal with that. If that makes sense...

This is Fe. All Fe types feel this way to some degree depending upon where it places in their functional hierarchy, and all Te types emulate it so as not to be cast out.

However, this is not necessarily an INFJ thing as INFJs with less-developed Fe function aren't as receptive to this sort of bias.

 

[Jana]

This is Fe. All Fe types feel this way to some degree depending upon where it places in their functional hierarchy, and all Te types emulate it so as not to be cast out.

However, this is not necessarily an INFJ thing as INFJs with less-developed Fe function aren't as receptive to this sort of bias.

Nicely explained, Fe is beautiful function, but as any other function should be controlled Too much Fe makes us too much dependent on opinion of other...

 

[aerosol]

Infj, perfecionist and worrin over the future? Nooooo
I found this infj prayer a long time ago on net

INFJ: Lord help me not be a perfectionist. (did I spell that correctly?)

Yeah, but that intense? Extreme perfectionist is basically like saying the same word twice, but I really feel like I'm more perfectionist than other perfectionists (not trying to be competitive, just seeing what I'm seeing). Actually, not so much over things that others worry about. Like, I don't like to misspell things but I don't care overly much like others seem to.
My previous semester one teacher miscounted my final score and said he was probably going to give me a B. I felt as if somebody had just punched me in the stomach. Exhausted, empty, deeply affected. I spent the whole night trying to sort my ideas on how to fix this imperfection, and I decided I would retake the class next semester (Another 1,200 dollars at a community college(!). The next day, he told me that he had counted my grade wrong and all was well again. And I didn't even cherish my good grades too much, just was happy to be over with it. Sometimes I think my anxiety is the cause of everything that is good in my life. It gives me sooo much ambition and keeps my life together and gets me a 4.0. GPA. The day I get a B I will probably drop out of school. I don't want something unless it's perfect (yes, I know how stupid that is). Same has happened with my friendships - as soon as they do the slightest thing wrong they're out.

 

[Jana]

Yeah, but that intense? Extreme perfectionist is basically like saying the same word twice, but I really feel like I'm more perfectionist than other perfectionists (not trying to be competitive, just seeing what I'm seeing)

You can try to work on that, you know. You detected the problem
You should not be harsh od you and other. World won't breaj down if you mistake once in while
Nobody is perfect, and that's good!

 

[Jana]

See, I made many tipfellers in last post. Before, I would edit it...Now I try not to Little steps...

 

[aerosol]

INFJs are perfectionists, in a sense, but what you're describing is garden-variety anxiety.

This is Fe. All Fe types feel this way to some degree depending upon where it places in their functional hierarchy, and all Te types emulate it so as not to be cast out.

However, this is not necessarily an INFJ thing as INFJs with less-developed Fe function aren't as receptive to this sort of bias.

"Garden-variety anxiety"? Please elaborate.

Yeah, I think I may be overly developed in the Fe department and deficient in others. Does anyone have a link where it gives you the breakdown of your INFJ? Like "your Fe is 60 %, your iN is 20 %" etc etc...
I also did the left brain/right brain test and I was right brain all the way. It was impossible for me to see that dancer dance counter-clockwise.

 

[IndigoSensor]

Talk to me, I have a pretty strong perfectionist complex, who has a diagnosed anxiety disorder . Of course, you do seem to take it a bit further then I do, but I can relate to what your saying.

Some of what your describing does sound atypical to an INFJ, however this is just behavior. What makes and INFJ, and INFJ (or any MBTI type for that matter) is your thought processes. INFJ's think by Ni>Fe>Ti>Se. We start with an esoteric idea that we can't really explain, but we "get it" and it is often without any external descriptor. This is the sterotypical "ah ha!" type moments, that Ni doms tend to get. This information is then processed through Fe. How does all of this fit into the greater whole. How does this idea get put to words in ways which others will understand. How do you unify it into some general understanding. How does it all fit into the group and how does it (or not) create harmony. This then gets passed to Ti which picks apart the details of this whole. What's correct, what needs to be defined and refined. What details need to be checked, rechecked, tossed, etc. Making it perfect (for INFJ's Ti is often the "spot" were perfectionism comes into play). Then it gets handed to Se and it gets put to action. How can all of this be used, how can it be applied with the lowest effort possible? What real world instant use is there to it.

Mind you, this is in a perfect world for how an INFJ thinks. We are all very different and we all think differently. It's just a general overview. Your desire for conflict and how you willingly seek it out however does make me question if you may have mis-typed as an INFJ. Behavior or not, that would be extremely rare for an INFJ to act out in such a way. Have you considered ENFJ? I consider this as it seems like Ti is your weak point, and your Se doesn't seem to be very weak. This could be more common for them, and would further explain your perfectionistic streak. Keep in mind that I and E is not really as it seems. I am very outgoing for an introvert and am not really all that shy either. I know several extroverts who are quite reserved and are very shy. Just because you have no friends and want to be alone does not make you an I by default. I would reccomend looking into other personalty measures and simply hang around here for a while to get an idea of what your type could be if you are questioning that.

One test I would reccomend looking into is enneagram. There are links for tests in the psychology tests section. I am going to venture to guess you are the same type as me (1w2) on enneagram, as it relates to for the need for everything to be "right". This might help fill some holes and explain some more.

 

[aerosol]

See, I made many tipfellers in last post. Before, I would edit it...Now I try not to Little steps...

Lol. Forgot to say thanks for your advice. I try to do better, but it's like I'm fighting against my DNA when I try to be more chill and care-free.

 

[Jana]

but it's like I'm fighting against my DNA when I try to be more chill and care-free.

 

[Arsal]

"Garden-variety anxiety"? Please elaborate.

Anxiety is not type related. Anyone can have anxiety. INFJs are Ni-dominants, and constantly strive to perfect and meet their inner vision, and in this aspect, they are perfectionists. But their perfectionism comes out more in the form of organization rather than anxiety. You sound like you're suffering from an anxiety disorder.

EDIT: Let me say, INFJs in a Ni-Ti loop do struggle with anxiety a bit, as Ni comes up with all sorts of abstract ideas and Ti shoots them down over and over again. However, again, I don't think what you're going through is merely cognitive dissonance.

Yeah, I think I may be overly developed in the Fe department and deficient in others.

You cannot be overly developed. You can only be developed or less developed. The fact that you're aware of your appearance is a good thing, the fact that you're hyper-anxious about it is not.

Does anyone have a link where it gives you the breakdown of your INFJ? Like "your Fe is 60 %, your iN is 20 %" etc etc...
I also did the left brain/right brain test and I was right brain all the way. It was impossible for me to see that dancer dance counter-clockwise.

There are tests, but they're not very reliable. Also, the spinning dancer isn't actually verified as a determiner of right-brain/left-brain dominance.

 

[aerosol]

Talk to me, I have a pretty strong perfectionist complex, who has a diagnosed anxiety disorder . Of course, you do seem to take it a bit further then I do, but I can relate to what your saying.

Some of what your describing does sound atypical to an INFJ, however this is just behavior. What makes and INFJ, and INFJ (or any MBTI type for that matter) is your thought processes. INFJ's think by Ni>Fe>Ti>Se. We start with an esoteric idea that we can't really explain, but we "get it" and it is often without any external descriptor. This is the sterotypical "ah ha!" type moments, that Ni doms tend to get. This information is then processed through Fe. How does all of this fit into the greater whole. How does this idea get put to words in ways which others will understand. How do you unify it into some general understanding. How does it all fit into the group and how does it (or not) create harmony. This then gets passed to Ti which picks apart the details of this whole. What's correct, what needs to be defined and refined. What details need to be checked, rechecked, tossed, etc. Making it perfect (for INFJ's Ti is often the "spot" were perfectionism comes into play). Then it gets handed to Se and it gets put to action. How can all of this be used, how can it be applied with the lowest effort possible? What real world instant use is there to it.

Mind you, this is in a perfect world for how an INFJ thinks. We are all very different and we all think differently. It's just a general overview. Your desire for conflict and how you willingly seek it out however does make me question if you may have mis-typed as an INFJ. Behavior or not, that would be extremely rare for an INFJ to act out in such a way. Have you considered ENFJ? I consider this as it seems like Ti is your weak point, and your Se doesn't seem to be very weak. This could be more common for them, and would further explain your perfectionistic streak. Keep in mind that I and E is not really as it seems. I am very outgoing for an introvert and am not really all that shy either. I know several extroverts who are quite reserved and are very shy. Just because you have no friends and want to be alone does not make you an I by default. I would reccomend looking into other personalty measures and simply hang around here for a while to get an idea of what your type could be if you are questioning that.

One test I would reccomend looking into is enneagram. There are links for tests in the psychology tests section. I am going to venture to guess you are the same type as me (1w2) on enneagram, as it relates to for the need for everything to be "right". This might help fill some holes and explain some more.

Yeah, I'm just getting into all this MBTI stuff and I don't have a big enough understanding to tell the INFJ from the "me" yet. Thanks for your explanation, that helped.

I seek out conflict, but I do not like conflict. I love justice and fairness, and if someone has been done wrong I will not keep quiet about it. Conflicts get me very emotionally involved and I probably appear really sensitive because I'll take a conflict with a choked up voice. I really really do not like it, but I push myself to do it because I feel that it needs to be done.
I think I avoid conflict in the way that I avoid people. I hate using change on the bus instead of a bus pass, thinking that the bus driver might get ticked off and grunt at me for holding up the line. And I worry about other ridiculous and really minor things like that. It kinda consumes my life.

I have a very difficult time labelling myself as an extrovert. That just sounds plain wrong to me. I've done quite a few different tests and they all gave the INFJ result. But I'll be open to other possibilities, and I'll try to do the test you mentioned.

 

[Jana]

Yeah, I'm just getting into all this MBTI stuff and I don't have a big enough understanding to tell the INFJ from the "me" yet. Thanks for your explanation, that helped.

I seek out conflict, but I do not like conflict. I love justice and fairness, and if someone has been done wrong I will not keep quiet about it. Conflicts get me very emotionally involved and I probably appear really sensitive because I'll take a conflict with a choked up voice. I really really do not like it, but I push myself to do it because I feel that it needs to be done.
I think I avoid conflict in the way that I avoid people. I hate using change on the bus instead of a bus pass, thinking that the bus driver might get ticked off and grunt at me for holding up the line. And I worry about other ridiculous and really minor things like that. It kinda consumes my life.

I have a very difficult time labelling myself as an extrovert. That just sounds plain wrong to me. I've done quite a few different tests and they all gave the INFJ result. But I'll be open to other possibilities, and I'll try to do the test you mentioned.

You actually sounds a lot like me few years ago. Really, worring over stupid litlle things. I still do that, but not so much as before.
I don't have time, for me it is morning and I have to go, but I can send you pm if you want my story

 

[aerosol]

Anxiety is not type related. Anyone can have anxiety. INFJs are Ni-dominants, and constantly strive to perfect and meet their inner vision, and in this aspect, they are perfectionists. But their perfectionism comes out more in the form of organization rather than anxiety. You sound like you're suffering from an anxiety disorder.

EDIT: Let me say, INFJs in a Ni-Ti loop do struggle with anxiety a bit, as Ni comes up with all sorts of abstract ideas and Ti shoots them down over and over again. However, again, I don't think what you're going through is merely cognitive dissonance.

I was curious about the "garden variety" term. What does that mean? I looked it up briefly but it didn't make things very much clearer.

 

[aerosol]

You actually sounds a lot like me few years ago. Really, worring over stupid litlle things. I still do that, but not so much as before.
I don't have time, for me it is morning and I have to go, but I can send you pm if you want my story

I wanna hear your story.

 

[Arsal]

I was curious about the "garden variety" term. What does that mean? I looked it up briefly but it didn't make things very much clearer.

Never mind my choice of words, I meant to say "it's not related to type, thus it is not typically INFJ". :]

 

[IndigoSensor]

Yeah, I'm just getting into all this MBTI stuff and I don't have a big enough understanding to tell the INFJ from the "me" yet. Thanks for your explanation, that helped.

I seek out conflict, but I do not like conflict. I love justice and fairness, and if someone has been done wrong I will not keep quiet about it. Conflicts get me very emotionally involved and I probably appear really sensitive because I'll take a conflict with a choked up voice. I really really do not like it, but I push myself to do it because I feel that it needs to be done.
I think I avoid conflict in the way that I avoid people. I hate using change on the bus instead of a bus pass, thinking that the bus driver might get ticked off and grunt at me for holding up the line. And I worry about other ridiculous and really minor things like that. It kinda consumes my life.

I have a very difficult time labelling myself as an extrovert. That just sounds plain wrong to me. I've done quite a few different tests and they all gave the INFJ result. But I'll be open to other possibilities, and I'll try to do the test you mentioned.

I gotcha. I have very little info to go off to guess at your type. In the end you are your own best judge. If something doesn't "fit" though, it is definitely worthwhile to look into other possibillites. Figuring out your type isn't an overnight deal. I really consider it a journey. It's been a journey (and an ongoing on at that) for me, and many others that I know.

Your dislike of conflict but willingless to go into it sounds like me in a sense. I will put myself in ways of it if I feel it is the right and only thing to do. However I never get into fights as I am very good at mitigating conflict. To me it sounds like you are a type who is shunning her auxillary function in favor of her teritary function.

In the end though, it's just a four letter code, don't let it bother you (easier said then done though, trussssssst me I know ).

 

[aerosol]

To me it sounds like you are a type who is shunning her auxillary function in favor of her teritary function.

Wha? Haha, I'm very uneducated when it comes to these things... If you could explain further (dumb it down) I'd really appreciate it.
And I'm okay with being whichever four letter formation, I'm just kinda curious to try to see where what is distinctively me begins and where my thought pattern/personality type ends. I'll probably post more threads like that: "Are you all this way too, or is it just me...?"