Is there benefit in taking a child to church? | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

Is there benefit in taking a child to church?

Discussion in 'Philosophy and Religion' started by Sriracha, Aug 4, 2011.

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  1. this is only temporary

    this is only temporary Community Member

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    While I agree that sitting still is a good thing that we all must learn, young children are expected to sit still and focus a inordinate amount of time in school these days, for 5 days a week, to the point I feel it is developmentally inappropriate for kindergarten-age boys. On weekends, I think it is much healthier for them to play, and be active, and go outside, and spend lots of time with their family and friends interacting with people, and just goofing off, or doing sports, or going places. Sitting still and listening to something they don't even understand, and focusing even more than they're already expected to do, is not good for them. (or me) So yeah, some church activities are fine for them but listening to sermons may not be the best for them.
     
  2. the

    the Si master race.
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    What is best for them is to be socialized into their culture, and if that culture is listening to sermons on sundays then by golly that is what they must learn. Id sitting there isnt good for them then change the culture, dont make them do one thing and parents do another thats just confusing and inconvenient.
     
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  3. sprinkles

    sprinkles Well-known member

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    Everything you do with a child is a teaching and learning experience. Everything.

    Should you take your kids to church? Well, that depends on the church, and the parents!

    Dragging your child along like it is some pet that you can't leave elsewhere with the sole purpose of having them in your reach is wrong. That's what my parents did to me, and I did not learn what church was actually about. I did get to observe the conspicuous competition and drama between adults though. I'd been convinced pretty early on that it was merely a corrupt social club.
     
  4. CuriousEn

    CuriousEn Newbie

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    In my opinion, kids should not be forced to go to church. Kids should decide to go on their own. Just like how kids should not be forced to play sports. If the kid wants to go to church, let him go. But you don't want to force your kid to grow up religious just because you are.
     
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  5. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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    Are you crazy! Childhood indoctrination is how 99.9% of people adopt their religion. Its Religions most powerful tool. They will never give it up.
     
  6. Cornerstone

    Cornerstone Well-known member

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    I don't know how many people are preaching good things to the laypeople these days.
    So sermons I'd say are probably bad for a child but the community side can be good.
    All of my friends from school also did their communion and confirmation and were at church so it was pretty usual.

    I recently found out about how Mosques are painted with geometric patterns and other kind of formless artwork.
    I really like it as a way to decorate a place for spiritual time and I can really understand why images of God and people would be advised against from a spiritual perspective.
    Enforcing laws is another thing but I can see the logic if one were most concerned with the spiritual, rather than material, wellbeing of a people.

    To simply leave a child in a room decorated that way and get them to think about God, undisturbed, and then have them talk about it would probably be very beneficial.

    But to impose a viewpoint on a child when they really don't need to 'know' anything but would benefit from discovering and wondering is not going to be good long term.
    You have to let kids know why and when it comes to religion...too many people have simply never asked 'why?' so they can't tell them and that means they have to stop them from asking questions.

    It will take one generation to rediscover the world alongside their children, I think, to redress the balance.
    Just don't get so flustered - the child doesn't need to know 'right now' and it's okay to admit you don't know things and if you wanted to, you could try and learn for yourself and pass on honest knowledge. That could only be good, right?
    Time consuming and requiring a lot of effort, yeah. But the best things usually are from what I've gathered.

    The pictures I liked were on this page:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aniconism_in_Islam
     
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  7. slant

    slant Fairly Tragic

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    Okay how about this one, if your children are starving, then maybe they can get a free piece of bread during sacrament depending on what kind of church you take them to, and maybe some free water. That's a plus.
     
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  8. tfg345i4u5lw

    On Holiday

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    Yes. It's definitely a great benefit to children if they interpret what they are taught in a positive way. I'm very thankful I attended church as a kid. I haven't been to church in years. But I feel it gave me faith in something and gave me a moral code to live by.
     
  9. subwayrider

    subwayrider Into the White

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    Spiritual and ethical principles are spiritual and ethical principles, and, in general, they're very similar from one religion or denomination to the next.

    I would say there's a good chance the child will get something good out of it, assuming it's not a totally screwed-up church...like the Westboro Baptist Church.

    [video=youtube;OBA6qlHW8po]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBA6qlHW8po[/video]
     
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  10. knight in battle

    knight in battle Well-known member

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    The benefit is in having a social environment, but I would say the primarily social activities are preferrable to the primarily religious ones. This allows for faith development in the context of church community, while minimizing indoctrination.

    It should be ascertained whether the child wants to be in a church. They may not want to be there, or only want to be there for certain periods and activities.
     
  11. sentientsixpence

    sentientsixpence fail daemon

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    I am against both lying to children and brainwashing.

    I was dragged to church as a child but nothing took. On the contrary, between Santa and the invisible man in the sky, I just didn't believe anything people said anymore. What's more was that I could tell that many doubted or didn't believe at all the things they were telling me. This gave me my worldview but mine was one of nihilism.
     
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  12. ixi

    ixi Newbie

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    Having lived in many different countries as a child, I went to churches all over with my Mum (my Dad is pretty anti-religion). She never forced me to go, and if I didn't want to I was never pressured, and there was no guilt laid on me for not attending. In my teens and twenties I never felt I wanted to go - rebellious and difficult years! But now in my thirties I've discovered the joy of being part of a supportive and spiritual community once again, and go by myself. I think the crucial element in me finding the joy in attending church was the fact that I was never made to feel guilty for not attending - whether by my Mum or the church community - merely warmly welcomed and accepted whenever I did go. The older I get, the more I realise that kids really do act and react in the same way they see their parents acting and reacting. As kids we don't do what we're told, we tend to copy what we're shown, and seeing that church was a beneficial, joyous experience for my Mum allowed me to realise that it could be the same for me.
     
  13. Gerty

    Gerty Newbie

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    I took my kids to church for years. All baptized, all made their first communion, although I'm not sure the younger two will ever be confirmed.

    I still think it's one of the best parenting decisions I made, even though my faith is ambivalent at best. For one thing, it provided a wealth of teachable moments. When the kids protested that the story of Abraham and Isaac was horrible, any potential value eclipsed by a father being asked to murder his son - I agreed. The heretical interpretation of the loaves and fishes - where the miracle was that the throng shared a they had - was the interpretation we determined was the most beautiful.

    My kids are growing up to be thinkers, questioners, with powerfully-developed moral compasses. If, as adults, they ever decide the church is for them, they will be able to go back without feeling like outsiders - at least in the sacramental sense:)
     
  14. Lerxst

    Lerxst Well-known member

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    Depends on the religion. If I teach my child to sit on a cushion and meditate, they can take that with them later in life and use it however they like. If they learn all about God first, then their explanation is always going to be "because of God" and what does that do to self-confidence?

    Then there are some really crazy, whacked out religions that believe in some really stupid shit... fire-proof underwear anyone?
     
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  15. just me

    just me GONE

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    ...because of God?
     
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  16. Barnabas

    Barnabas Time Lord

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    found thread, read op, wanted to comment, found I already had like 2 years ago, now I'm a little disappointed, one more comma for emphasis.
     
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  17. charlene

    charlene never mind no matter nevermind

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    This is something that ive been thinking about recently. My daughter is now 4, and my dad would really like to take her to his church.

    I am irreligious and think most religious are offensive. But i respect people's right to hold their beliefs and i think that all paths of genuine searching lead us home. There were many positive aspects of going to a church- community, mass group prayer, focus away from materialism, altruism, working with people etc. I would probably consider taking my daughter to all sorts of different religious and spiritual places when she is a bit older. To see the beautiful architecture, feel the power of place, get a feel for what people believe, the community aspect etc. I like Sikh temples in particular. But i dont think that God or spirituality can be really found in a building. God can be appreciated from such a place, but God is obvious and all encompassing in nature. I think that religion is something that separates us from each other and God.

    In many ways i am already brainwashing and indoctrinating my child in what i believe. I try not, in most ways, but sometimes it cant be practically helped. My spirituality and my ethics are so central to my life and experience of reality. I do yoga with her most days, and we do meditation together (as well as a child can meditate anyway). I explain to her why we do certain things that her friends do not etc. I teach her self empowerment and self love, and that we are One. She watches me when i do 'magic' and she asks questions, which i try to answer as honestly as possible. I also teach her to think critically, and rather than giving her answers, i encourage her to find her own.

    So now my dad wants to take her with him to church..and im a bit stumped. I know that he would try to be gentle, but he is pretty brainwashed and fear driven himself. Religion is very important to him. Sometimes i think, 'whats the harm, how bad can it be?' And other times, i literally cringe...imagining this beautiful innocent carefree creative child being exposed to such harmful and destructive ideas. She is so in tune with her spirit and so connected, i would hate for that to be crushed. I just dont think she is old enough yet, to deal with the darker human fear aspects.

    I was about my daughters age when i first learned about the christian concept of hell. I cried for days, i was so horrified and disturbed. I begged 'god' not to punish innocent people forever. I begged 'god' to punish me instead. I couldnt understand why my family would worship and revere something that was so mean and cruel. It was very upsetting. I learned soon enough to free myself of this and think for myself, but it was very hurtful and upsetting at that vulnerable time. Reading bible stories- many made me cry. It was all so confusing. It made me lose respect for my parents, the people that we knew in our lives, and existance itself. As a child, having people i loved and cared about thinking that i was evil just for being honest and asking questions, for these people to try to exorcise me of 'evil' was extremely frightening. I really didnt know what to do, i thought they were crazy! And they thought i was not only crazy, but evil! They didnt understand why i wouldnt be 'healed' depite hours of prayer and exorcism. Eventually i stopped being honest and forced myself to be quiet and go along with them, so that their feelings wouldnt be as hurt.

    I dont think that these things will happen to her. And i know that not all religious people are that scary and controlling. But, i dont know if she is ready to be around people that think and preach such fear based things, especailly in a strong 'group think' environment. I dont want her to grow up thinking that people should only do 'good' because they want to go to heaven (get a prize), or avoid going to hell (getting punished). I want her to think for herself, rather than see other people and books of knowledge as an authority to live life by. Ive tried hard to parent her without these concepts. We use mainly positive reinforcement, self awareness, personal responsibility, honest open dialogue, observational learning and unconditional love as our guiding and parenting prinicples. I dont smack her, and i try very hard to not yell at her in anger or frustration.

    So im not sure what i'll do. I could try going with dad as well, so i could make sure it doesnt get ugly and we focus on the positive aspects. But i dont really want to. Ive been to his church before, and its not that bad compared to others ive been to. Its nice in many ways, lots of lovely people there. But yes, still a lot of fear and conformity being drummed in, as well as calling natural beautiful things sins and evil. I dont want to hurt dad by flat out refusing. What im considering is telling him i'll wait until she's atleast 7 or 8. She will hopefully be less vulnerable and susceptible by then. This is really going to hurt dad though, and i know i have to just deal with it. i hate hurting people, and i know that he is not going to understand at all. He's so afraid we're all going to hell! And he thinks its his fault for not trying hard enough. He even blames himself for my mum's sickness and death so many years ago. I know that this is not my problem and responsibility..its his own perception and feelings...but its still really painful and hard, watching someone you love hurt themselves with such horrible self hating thoughts, especailly someone as beautiful as my dad.
     
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  18. bonafide

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    "Is there benefits in taking a child to church?"​

    I came across this question on a forum and I would like to share my story. Well, to start, I was raised under a Catholic family. I went through all the phases (Baptized, communion, confirmation, ect.) In my opinion, I believe going to church in the past has helped me. Although I never truly understood religion, I believed it because it overall taught me how to be a good person when growing up as a child. Going to church and listening to the sermon helped me because it made me really think about common issues in life that I previously did not think much about. As time passed however, I decided to drift away from Religion and move towards Spirituality. Am I saying I abandoned my families tradition and betrayed them? Well, it depends on how you, the reader, perceives it. To me, Religion was simply a foundation to developing my morals and good conscience. I believe ALL religions, whether you are Christian, Catholic, Muslim, or Buddist, advocate the same thing. Religion teaches you to be righteous and to treat others with respect. Religion teaches you to love and to live a life of goodness in your heart.

    My reason for changing my beliefs is simply because I believe CURRENT religion, is monopolized. When you go the Church, there is always a donation collection for 'the poor' or for 'funds for the church'. Don't get me wrong, I think giving to the needy is fine, but how come these Churches can spend millions on millions to garnish a beautiful building yet there is still homelessness on the streets? Tupac once said "If the churches gave half the money they use to build buildings to phrase God, and instead gave it to people who actually NEEDED God, We would be alright." This statement was very powerful to me. It made me really think about the common issues of these Churches.

    I chose to leave Religion not because I lost faith, but because I believe limiting yourself to a single ideology or religion is foolish. I believe ALL religions have something to offer it's readers. Whether your God is named Jesus or Allah, it's the same thing to me. Today, religion is simply used as a tool to SEPERATE people. "Oh what's your Religion?" "I'm Catholic, you?" "Oh I'm Christian..." To me, this is just wrong. Because all religions teaches you to love one another and to promote unity. Religous titles simply creates an invisble barrier making people think we are different people and should stick with the "same group" of people. That is a wrong relgion, and I refuse to support that.

    Let me know your thoughts about this and as always, your views are what matters. I am simply stating my thoughts on the matter.

    One,
    RE.
     
  19. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    We all have to move beyond our childhoods.
     
  20. Blax91

    Blax91 Newbie

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    Yes, there is a lot of benefit to taking children to church, especially if you're involved in the community. My family was at one point involved in a church, then left when I was getting into middle school and high school. We moved around a lot, I didn't have any close friends, and my dad is an ISTJ, so he expected me to not really take things to heart, nor did he see a reason to let me work through things emotionally. In college, I found that the people who were the best adjusted and equipped for dealing with emotional issues healthily were the kids who came from families that were involved churches, not just mere attenders. The more involved I've become in church, the better I've come to understand myself.

    I think this is simply because a Church community, when it takes its role as a Christ following body seriously, isn't just a group of attendees, but is an extended family. They're people - peers and elders, who come from various walks of life and experiences, who want to guide you through the tough times (the elders), or figure them out with you (your peers), or show you exuberant joy or give you a deep purpose in their own lives (the younger ones who are looking for help). It's not just a place to sing and listen, but grow and understand one another.

    Christianity isn't a list of positions, it's a way of living life. Should I have children, I hope I can give them the community to rely on and grow in that my parents didn't allow me to see.

    And this comes from a pretty tortured bi-sexual who converted from Atheism/Apathetic Deism to Anglicanism in college.
     
    #60 Blax91, Nov 26, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2013
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