mmhmm, I know a couple of entps that are a bit much for me. They have very strong E and P traits, the p being my biggest issue. If anyone is very extroverted, we will not get on well either.... My husbands E is pretty low key. He is very laid-back.
Is the ENTP-INFJ thing a mirage?!
- Thread starter BlinkandThink
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mmhmm, I know a couple of entps that are a bit much for me. They have very strong E and P traits, the p being my biggest issue. If anyone is very extroverted, we will not get on well either.... My husbands E is pretty low key. He is very laid-back.
Then we'll just invite the other INFJs to the big burning intuiting.
yayyyy
:hippie:
when can we do this? where?
should we just drive around the world in a bus? i'll drive. we can take turns.
thirded
also, ENTPs come in different shapes and sizes...some i clash with and some i just want to cuddle with.
It's always been my dream to ride in one of those VW vans. We will intuit over land and water and sky (because apparently we'll be jumping cliffs like in a hollywood movie ... sell-outs!!!).
You know what? I thought that right after I posted it. hahahahahaha
ADD: If you are a blue ball, mentally erase the yellow tinge -->
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You know what? I thought that right after I posted it. hahahahahaha
ADD: If you are a blue ball, mentally erase the yellow tinge -->
Heh, I realised this almost sounded like I was in some shitty mood or something, but I was just joking around
Well, we are around.
And without a doubt there will be female ENTP's looking for male INFJ's or INTJ's so there is hope.
Most of the time though I'm at home glued to my computer. Its not often I like to go out. I find people and surroundings very intense, I don't generally like loud places. Strange, I know but I like to supply the loudness. If there are too many extroverts in a room I freak out.
However we are usually the loud ones that you see at libraries, museums, gyms, art clubs, sporting and music events. We look intensely at things and analyze them from a distance and sometimes up close (very, very up close, I have been told off for doing this). We are often found sitting or standing in the thinkers pose.
We are generally nice people unless you say something really, really stupid and insulting. ENTP's cannot and will not tolerate stupidity on any level.
Mentally handicapped people are an exception, I find them very enjoyable to work with and I work with them on a regular basis.
Anyway, I'll steer back to the original subject, ENTP's have a habit of doing that.
With the INFJ's I have meet in person, I get along with very well. I'm still yet to meet a male INFJ. I find them very warm and accepting. I feel non intimidated around them. I feel free around them as a person.
INFJ's come across to me as the silent, sensitive yet powerful type. I always want to get inside their heads and see what they see, feel what they feel.
One of my art tutors that I worked with in my early teens was an INFJ, she was one of the best that I have ever had and I look forward to working with her again.
My psychologist is an INFJ and so is a friend of mine that I worked with during art school, my favorite tutor from my childhood was also an INFJ.
The thing about all the INFJ's that I have meet, I never forgotten.
They all stood up for me when I was bullied during my childhood (I was very lonely and bullied allot during my childhood) and I always felt at ease and protected around them.
I definitely feel that someday in the future that my heart will go to an INFJ male.
I have all sorts of males harass me in the past but I have always turned them down because I know that their personalities and hearts are non compatible with mine.
I feel that an INFJ is someone that I can serve and protect and even sacrifice my life for (if it ever came to that)
Sorry for the really long post, but I thought it would be helpful and might give an insight to those who are interested in ENTP females.
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Short answer: Yes, it is a mirage.
Long answer...
For friendships, INFJs and ENTPs work fabulously.
The assumption that ENTPs and INFJs are good for long term romantic partners however, is based on the formula for S type compatibility, which is Opposite Perception function set + Inverse Judging function set = Best Compatibility. For example Si Fe Ti Ne (ISFJ) + Se Ti Fe Ni (ESTP) = Best compatibility. The Dominant functions compliment one another, while the secondary and tertiary functions take turns acting as parent and child to one another, allowing the inferior functions to create the kind of friction that leads to the relationship not getting boring. The Ni inferior person is good at 'keeping things on track' while the Ne inferior person provides just enough possibility to 'keep the fire burning'.
For S types, this works fairly well because the intuition functions are what cause chemistry in a relationship. However, for N types, the a difference in intuition dominance is usually overwhelming to a relationship as these functions have much more weight in these individuals. Ne dominant individuals are nothing but fire and Ni dominant individuals are nothing but wet blankets in these situations, reflexively resisting each other in the extreme, creating explosions rather than catalyst.
For N types, it is best to have a strong basis for similarity, as our ability to process information is of utmost importance to how we view the world. We need to either have one shared dominant or secondary function (Ni Fe with Ni Te, Te Ni, or Fe Ni) or the same base mode (NFPs with NFJs, NTPs with NTJs). Also, unlike with S types who need a catalyst, N types are their own catalyst and do well with their own types (NFJs with NFJs, NTPs with NTPs). In rare cases we can click fairly well with another N type that has our tertirary function as their dominant function, especially if this is mutual as in the case with our corresponding S type.
There was a study done asking people of various types how satisfied they were in their relationships with whatever type they were in, and there was a surprising trend. Most N types reported the most satisfaction within their own type or corresponding introvert or extrovert. INFJ satisfaction with ENTPs wasn't even listed as favorable, while ENTP satisfaction with INFJs was at the bottom of the favorable list. Not surprisingly, ENTPs reported being satisfied in relationships with most types, while INFJs reported favorable averages only toward INFJs, ENFJs, and INFPs - which barely made the cut. Clearly we INFJs are a lot fussier than ENTPs. The mirage is that ENTPs tend to be happy with INFJs, but INFJs tend not to be happy with ENTPs. I would be willing to bet this is because the INFJ has a natural reflex to put the happiness and well being their significant other first, while the ENTP tends to put their own enjoyment first. This can be a very beneficial relationship for the ENTP as it seems both partners have the same goal - making the ENTP happy, but the INFJ will likely tire of not having their own needs met and eventually leave, often without explaining why, leaving the ENTP to wonder what happened when everything was going so well.
So, for the sake of being thorough...
ENTP's best matches are ENTP, INTP, ENFP, INTJ, possibly ESFJ, ENTJ, INFP, ENFJ, with INFJ being least on the list of matches that could work.
INFJ's best matches are INFJ, ENFJ, INFP, INTJ, possibly ISTP, INTP, ENFP, ENTJ, with ENTP being least on the list of matches that could work.
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Depends on the ENTP and INFJ and what their morals and chemical balances are.
The way how I see ENTP's and INFJ's;
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It's much more like;
ENTPs tend fall for us because of how we treat them, but they don't really have the capacity to understand us and meet our needs. It's often like the child at the pet store who wants that cute pet, but cannot care for it.
I'm not saying it can't work. I'm saying that it is unlikely to work, will require a lot of effort, and will not meet the expectations created by the assumption that ENTPs and INFJs are a 'perfect' match.
ENTPs tend fall for us because of how we treat them, but they don't really have the capacity to understand us and meet our needs. It's often like the child at the pet store who wants that cute pet, but cannot care for it.
I'm not saying it can't work. I'm saying that it is unlikely to work, will require a lot of effort, and will not meet the expectations created by the assumption that ENTPs and INFJs are a 'perfect' match.
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It's much more like;
ENTPs fall for us because of how we treat them, but they don't really have the capacity to understand us and meet our needs. It's like the child at the pet store who wants that cute pet, but cannot care for it.
Looks at signature...
It works so easily for us, so I have to resoundingly disagree. My ENTP hubby cares for me like no other, and I can be pretty high maintenance from an infj perspective. My Fe is like 86%. I know two other couples who I finally got to test for me b/c they were so compatible with us and with each other - we are the kind of couples that other couples envy. They both tested out as infj/entp pairings. (both female infjs w/male entp's)
Like hotkebob said, ying and yang.
There is no such thing as a perfect match, personality typing is not everything, and as I said earlier, if my hubby's E or P were much stronger we would clash. Laid back, go-with-te-flow entps are who I get along with best.
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It's much more like;
ENTPs tend fall for us because of how we treat them, but they don't really have the capacity to understand us and meet our needs. It's often like the child at the pet store who wants that cute pet, but cannot care for it.
I'm not saying it can't work. I'm saying that it is unlikely to work, will require a lot of effort, and will not meet the expectations created by the assumption that ENTPs and INFJs are a 'perfect' match.
They don't look too happy to see each other.It pains me to say that you are right. We do have a tendency to use people and take advantage of them. This is the part of my personality that sickens me to the core. We are stubborn beings and at the end of the day even if we do truly care about another person we come across as cold, curel and selfish. A part of myself that I fight against everyday.
I can't help but feel that we are almost being portrayed as demons, from what I have read many people think that way about us.
As an ENTP I have risked my life to put others before me, thats the way I am and always will be, I will be so for my future partner and family.
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Interesting. Maybe ENTP male and INFJ female relationships can work. From what I've seen the INFJ females get very upset with the ENTP male's lack of responsibility and drive... always playing, always able to come up with an excuse why they're not doing chores, always able to justify everything they are not doing, and most importantly being perfectly content to not live up to anything resembling their potential.
I also find it interesting that you mentioned that you wouldn't be able to handle it if he was more E and P. That's almost like saying ENTPs are a good match for INFJs, so long as they don't act like too much like ENTPs.
Are you sure everyone involved are INFJs and ENTPs respectively? I'm not doubting the possibility that like minded people attract one another, but INFJs and ENTPs are especially rare.
It pains me to say that you are right. We do have a tendency to use people and take advantage of them. This is the part of my personality that sickens me to the core. We are stubborn beings and at the end of the day even if we do truly care about another person we come across as cold, curel and selfish. A part of myself that I fight against everyday.
I can't help but feel that we are almost being portrayed as demons, from what I have read many people think that way about us.
As an ENTP I have risked my life to put others before me, thats the way I am and always will be, I will be so for my future partner and family.
I don't think you guys are demons at all. In fact, I've not met many ENTPs that were not great fun. I think you guys are INCREDIBLY creative and very sincere. The problem I have with ENTPs is that they are so creative and sincere that it causes me issues when I spend too much time with you guys. All that creativity manifests itself in ways that is eventually begins to agitate my Ni, and all that sincerity causes my Fe to feel cringe when it neglects to take others' feelings into consideration.
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