There is a time when the same sex parent becomes the preferred object of torture for a teenager. That was certainly true in my case. My older INTJ son would torture me to try to get what he wanted. If he succeeded, then he would stop--he was persistent, practical, and goal oriented. When I complained to my INFJ wife, she would warn me that if I thought my INTJ son was bad, wait until the younger INFJ son became a teenager. He was a master at twisting the knife and he did it somewhat, I think, to practice his INFJ skills! I have survived my sons' teen age years intact, the wounds have healed, and both my sons are nice, charming, and successful young men, whose skills were well honed on my poor, wounded psyche. Bringing up kids is not easy. But, I don't think that INFJ's realize the power they are capable of wielding, particularly when they are young and somewhat awkward in its application.
Is it just me? (INTJ'S)
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There is a time when the same sex parent becomes the preferred object of torture for a teenager. That was certainly true in my case. My older INTJ son would torture me to try to get what he wanted. If he succeeded, then he would stop--he was persistent, practical, and goal oriented. When I complained to my INFJ wife, she would warn me that if I thought my INTJ son was bad, wait until the younger INFJ son became a teenager. He was a master at twisting the knife and he did it somewhat, I think, to practice his INFJ skills! I have survived my sons' teen age years intact, the wounds have healed, and both my sons are nice, charming, and successful young men, whose skills were well honed on my poor, wounded psyche. Bringing up kids is not easy. But, I don't think that INFJ's realize the power they are capable of wielding, particularly when they are young and somewhat awkward in its application.
I'm good at this. I've heard that INTJs hurt people deliberately. I only do it accidentally.
I thought I was clear enough in my wording.
Here's how I see it:
Te/Fi-types get angry as a last resort, when they need a release. Otherwise they might see it as inefficient to let their feelings get into the way of their decision-making.
Fe/Ti-types get angry for the sake of showing emotion, to let others know what they like and what they dislike. Otherwise they might see it inefficient to keep their feelings bottled.
Correct me if something doesn't sit well. I'm just theorizing/thinking out loud.
Thanks for the clarification. There was something thrown in your previous post about manipulation. I wanted to be sure I wasn't misinterpreting you. This sounds quite reasonable.
We can be very hurtful if we want to be, and if we know someone and how they tick, we know exactly what to say to hurt them. We don't have a lot of empathy, especially for those that vex us greatly. However, I can say that I really dislike to hurt people. I am also very polite (on a transactional level) and don't enjoy hurting people intentionally, although I know sometimes I have hurt people unintentionally when I was younger because I didn't take their feelings into consideration. I'm much better at that now.