Introvert! How would you describe yourself?

[5r6jhd]

So, as introverts we tend to have fairly rich inner lives.

How would you describe yourself? Do you feel like the you on the inside is accurately portrayed on the outside? Do you share much of yourself with people and do you feel it's important to do so?
How much of yourself do you just keep for you?

I think you probably get the gist of what I'm asking.

 

[linger]

This is a really interesting question (and I'll be interested to see what other people say in response!).

I don't know how I would describe myself--that would take a good deal of sitting around and finding appropriate words (which maybe I'll try to do). But what I do know is that I don't think it's accurately portrayed. I've been thinking a lot in the past few years about the whole "no one really knows who I am" and while I think that there's definite power in the idea that words can't accurately express anything (which I always love because I'm a writer--such a masochist), I've also come to realize that it's not accurately portrayed because I've never had the balls to do so (pardon my French). I feel like it isn't terribly important for other people to know me on their side of the equation (I'm a great friend regardless), but I'm beginning to see how it's held me back and affected me to not ever put myself out there wholly or even just in a serious way. I've also begun to see how hungry people are to know who I really am--no one had ever had the courage, I think, to call me on the fact that I kept my cards so close to my chest. They were content to know what little they did and those who weren't ended up not lasting very long in my life. The person who came closest, who I shared almost everything with, was my partner, but even he didn't get the full picture. Maybe if everyone I've ever known got together and put the pieces together, they'd have a pretty good idea. Maybe better than I would come up with as I'm not terribly good at seeing the stronger parts of myself anymore.

I'd like to think that someday I'll be comfortable being me without holding anything back, but it's a terrifying thought where I'm left completely exposed and there's nothing left for me. It sounds exhausting. I feel, right now, that that bit of me that I keep to myself is sort of my core and my center and the little rock in the center of my chest that I won't share because I need it to be stable and un-messed-around-with (as the OJ commercial says). I have no idea how to describe what it really is, or what it really reveals, but I know it's there. It's probably my hopes and dreams and the full force of my love. It's like the birthday wish that you can't share or it won't come true? Maybe?

Awesome question. I'm now going to be thinking about this too much for the next chunk of time. )

 

[CindyLou]

^excellent response above. I can relate to some of that. This is...very thought provoking.

I'll keep it simple because I have to leave for work in 10 minutes. I would describe myself as reserved. The inside is definitely not portrayed by my outside, but that's how much I have divorced myself from my body/flesh/etc. I have fun with taking care of myself but I don't use it as a way to express who I am on the inside, because I have divorced myself from it but I suppose it is a reflection of who I am. I don't know. I don't know why. I have so many...different...my personality rabbit trails. I am everything and nothing. No one knows me. It's not out of some sort of fear, but mostly because I just don't feel like it. Like the poster above, maybe if enough people got together they could piece together all of it? I'm not sure I could even figure it out. I share, but certain sections for certain people. Its easier to write than speak. Isn't everyone that way?

 

[Gaze]

I don't know, I think over the years, I've come to recognize what introversion is and how it's reflected in my personality. I think my inner life is not that unique. Everyone has things they keep hidden or reflects unique aspects of the self. There will always be a part of me that I keep for me because it's just something which is not going to be comfortable showing up when anyone else is around. It's not something which can thrive in the light. It sustains me, reminds me I'm an individual. I don't want to have to explain it to anyone or justify it. It just is. I think everyone particularly introverts have this aspect to themselves, that "place" no one knows about but you. It's what gives that feeling that there is only one of us.

 

[Blackmountainside]

i keep a lot of stuff in ---- i have done this since i was a small child. i have never really cared to be known or heard just for sake of it. i mostly feel content this way. often, my thoughts and feelings alone, sustain me. nice calm feelings here. (and some thoughts and feelings are so quiet i never think to speak them out ---- not sure how to speak them out --- not sure if i want to).

sometimes i meet people which change this: everything inside which lies dormant, things which are delicate, yet forceful, - constant on the inside, want out. and my whole body responds. it’s strong and even if i’m still not speaking, we look at each other like we *really* wanna be next to each other; close, feeling, knowing. my writing becomes sharper; things are more fluid and audible ---- even the quiet looks. this is an intense feeling and i like it very much.

 

[Sriracha]

I always tend to score about 70% in introversion. I like to keep to myself, I often will not answer the phone, seeing a friend on a regular basis means a couple of weeks have gone by (or months), etc. I have many regular interactions with my children's extracurricular activites. I've learned that there is nothing wrong with having 2 senses of self ... one public and one private. I believe everyone who knows how to neutrally interact with others understands this concept. Most people DO hold themselves back. Like I have mentioned before, if you met me in real life you would never guess I am an introvert.

Do people know me? Certainly they do. Do they know all of me? Well, that depends on the receiver at the other end ... I open up more when they open up more. I mean, would you really want everyone to know you the way your partner/spouse/parent knows you??? No way.

 

[Rcs6r]

How would you describe yourself?

Very reserved unless I am comfortable with the people I'm around. Then I'm more open, even extroverted at times, with varying levels of chattiness. If I am around friends, I find they give me strength. If the group is larger I become more quiet, even if they are mostly friends. There's a correlation to size of group + closeness to people in said group and my openness.

Do you feel like the you on the inside is accurately portrayed on the outside?

Sometimes. In the last 4 years of being in college I've finally forged my own identity - something I didn't really do as a teenager as much. I've gotten my senses of taste/style, humor, likes, dislikes, passions, etc. more fine-tuned and how I present myself usually resembles that and my mood. There are aspects which I do keep hidden though. (See below.)

Do you share much of yourself with people and do you feel it's important to do so?

As stated above, I only open up around people I'm comfy around. Even then, I don't share myself. I only talk about my life if I'm asked and I feel like giving an answer; and also like above I only give a more accurate answer if I'm okay with that particular person knowing. Then there are things like my spiritual beliefs which I will almost never discuss. It's different on these forums though. My anonymity here allows me to share much more of myself.

As for importance in doing so? I think it would definitely help refine your relationships with people. Sometimes I feel like I'm not trusted because I'm never talking about myself and acquaintances don't know or understand me. My close friend's don't mind and know I'm trusting and loyal.

How much of yourself do you just keep for you?

 

[barbad0s]

Do you guys think... that because you see less of yourselves on your outsides, it makes it harder for yourself to be able to recognize who you are, at all?

 

[Billy]

Do you guys think... that because you see less of yourselves on your outsides, it makes it harder for yourself to be able to recognize who you are, at all?

I dont think so, the haters around me make sure to keep me well grounded haha.

 

[Sai]

Umm kind of hard. Im a living contradiction.

Tough guy outside, (and i am till some extend) Angry face, scary look, mean attitude and sort of a "dont fuck with me" aura. On the inside it can be 2 things, or continual rage burning, or sweet and dumb tenderness. Ive been described as mean, but a little few people who know me are able to see that im all soft inside.

 

[the]

How would you describe yourself?

Your average guy.

Do you feel like the you on the inside is accurately portrayed on the outside?

Yes. I don't think of the two as entirely separate though.

Do you share much of yourself with people and do you feel it's important to do so?

I share whatever is germane to the situation. I think it is important to be interesting more than I believe I have to keep my life private. I dont go telling my worst enemy my secrets either.

How much of yourself do you just keep for you?

None. But I'm not the cliche open book either. If it doesn't pertain to you you wont hear about it, but it might apply to someone else so they would get to know it. I dont verbally vomit on people.

 

[acd]

I don't share myself completely with anyone, even those I love most and am closest to.
I don't really have a reason for it, other than I don't always feel like explaining myself and some things I just enjoy doing and thinking about by myself.

In other realms, I think most people see me as innocuous, dull, and timid, when really, deep down, I feel like I am anything but.

 

[Blackmountainside]

Do you guys think... that because you see less of yourselves on your outsides, it makes it harder for yourself to be able to recognize who you are, at all?

no, inside speaks true. it's part of reason i spend so much time alone, because there are no barriers. and part of reason why connection is very precious to me --- because it feels rare and it makes me happy, because afterall, perhaps, i cannot be reclusive all the time. i do need (and desire) deep contact.

 

[Rcs6r]

Do you guys think... that because you see less of yourselves on your outsides, it makes it harder for yourself to be able to recognize who you are, at all?

The opposite. I know myself quite well, it's other's who don't.

 

[linger]

Do you guys think... that because you see less of yourselves on your outsides, it makes it harder for yourself to be able to recognize who you are, at all?

I don't know. What I think may happen sometimes is that I'm so busy trying to keep myself at a distance (which, when I was younger, I often described involving me masking who I really felt like/was) that I lose track of who I am/could be. That might really just be a manifestation of people draining me in my introverted glory. It might just be emotional fatigue that feels like a loss of self rather than a true loss. It takes awhile to recover and in that period there could be some confusion. It's like when you wake up in the middle of the night and in the fog between dream and wake, you can't really remember what's going on.

But really I don't know. I know what you're trying to get at though. And I think part of why I want to be me more wholly in a "public" way is to help strengthen and refine (and reinforce, really) my identity. So... there might be something to that...

(And I should stop replying to posts in the middle of the night on my phone. It doesn't help tone down their rambly nature. My appypollylogies. hehe)

 

[j654dgj7]

I'd like to think that someday I'll be comfortable being me without holding anything back, but it's a terrifying thought where I'm left completely exposed and there's nothing left for me. It sounds exhausting. I feel, right now, that that bit of me that I keep to myself is sort of my core and my center and the little rock in the center of my chest that I won't share because I need it to be stable and un-messed-around-with (as the OJ commercial says). I have no idea how to describe what it really is, or what it really reveals, but I know it's there. It's probably my hopes and dreams and the full force of my love. It's like the birthday wish that you can't share or it won't come true? Maybe?

Completely how I feel. Excellent question [MENTION=5297]Neverwhere[/MENTION]!

In addition to the above, I feel that if I show everyone exactly how I was, I would be lying to them as I'm not a constant. Because of the rich-inner-life, I often change my point of view on everything as I get more time to think about it. So if I was to sit down and spend 5-8 hours telling someone exactly how I function, it wouldn't be the truth in a little while.

 

[Annabreher]

Hm.
Well...
I'm Anna, ha!
I have considered this question before, and really it comes back to that: I am my own person. Words have a way of completely downgrading thoughtful or eloquent thoughts. What I can say indefinitely without worrying too much about lacking the necessary descriptors: Intellectual, at times overly rational, "a ball of quirk", artist, animal lover, scientific.
As far as how I am perceived by others, I don't care. As long as I keep putting my best foot forward, I am more than happy with who I am as a person.

-Anna

 

[Paladin-X]

Completely how I feel. Excellent question [MENTION=5297]Neverwhere[/MENTION]!

In addition to the above, I feel that if I show everyone exactly how I was, I would be lying to them as I'm not a constant. Because of the rich-inner-life, I often change my point of view on everything as I get more time to think about it. So if I was to sit down and spend 5-8 hours telling someone exactly how I function, it wouldn't be the truth in a little while.

I feel exactly the same way. I find it difficult to describe myself, my values, my stances, etc. There are 3 words however that are constant in describing me: fluid - dynamic - awesome! (With exclamation mark)

 

[Brodskizzle]

I maintain a very strict wall of separation between my Ni and Fe. On the inside, I try to be thoughtful, considerate, and just generally what INFJs are stereotyped as, and I have a very rich, philosophical inner life. On the outside, I act like the dumb, lazy teenager everyone expects me to be. It's my philosophy that if you give people what they want, they'll be happy, and maintaining society's general happiness is worth not impressing my parents' friends.

 

[MissionHouse]

An idiot.