[[ long-time lurker finally posting after making an account; thanks for taking the time to read what probably means the world to me, but may be banal to you! ]]
What an enigma. Perhaps that's part of the reason I like her so much. I'm a 20-year-old INTJ and there's this 21-year-old INFJ for whom I have strong feelings. We met last month at one of the university's clubs. We share recreational and intellectual interests. I asked her out the night I met her, and we've had a few dates 1-on-1. (I'm a little inexperienced with dating, so please be understanding.)
These dates seemed to go well. The first two I planned out and we're pretty adventuresome. We went into the city and went longer than planned. She smiled, made eye-contact, and divulged lots of information about her family and her personality. She told me she had a good time.
However, her body language was inscrutable. There was no touching, not even a light touch on the shoulder. Near the end of the second date I asked if I could hold her hand, she said "sure" but she quickly let go after a few seconds and seemed a little flustered but cold. I told her very explicitly that I liked her and she said she wanted to "take things as they come."
Later I sent her an email saying that she should contact me if she wanted to hang out, and we had a much more informal date in the park. Everything felt cordial like we'd just met again. We later had coffee a few days later after she turned down my offer for a date in the city (she said she wanted to postpone it for later).
Because of midterms we didn't see each other for 2 weeks, until this weekend. There was a convention on campus we both attended, and we planned to meet up after a presentation. We were both in the audience and seated apart from each other. We saw each other during the speech. But afterwards she seemed to storm away from me.
I went after her nonetheless and by fate we got 2 free tickets to a concert that night. So we had a really nice dinner and went to the concert, followed by an after-party with mutual friends. I had 2 bottles of beer and she seemed much more flirtatious than before. Again, she would make no physical contact but we would verbally flirt. I'd touch her and she wouldn't recoil or move away.
One thing that concerned me was that she would touch other guys at the party and earlier that day while talking to them, though they weren't really verbally flirting. Though in my gut I think they are more her Platonic friends than anything else.
Anyway, the police came right as she began to drink (this was our first time in a setting with alcohol), and the party was shut down. I walked her home and while walking I tried to hold her hand (without asking) and she pulled her hand away. However, our conversation during the trip back was still really nice and we got along well.
At her door she asked me if I had a good time, and I told her that I had a good time because she was with me, and that I'm happy regardless of where I am as long as she's there. I told her that she knew my feelings and that if she should contact me if she wanted to see me again.
One potential problem is that she is going away in 2 months since she is an international student, and I told her I recognize that fact but would like to enjoy that time together anyway, no matter if it's short. Right before we parted that night, she said she might stay on for another semester (+4 months), though earlier she said she was definitely leaving in 2. (but of course it'd be egotistical to think it was on my account, right?)
Ahhh, I hope she doesn't somehow read this, lol! Thanks for reading guys and gals!
[[ THE CONDENSED VERSION (tl;dr) ]]
Still not sure on where her feelings lie:
-- She gets nervous around me or acts aloof like I don't matter.
-- She will not touch me, though she will flirt with me verbally.
-- She will touch other guys, though I don't think she likes them (maybe I'm wrong?)
-- She dislikes it when I try to hold her hand.
-- Yet she continues to see me when she knows I like her, since I told her.
What an enigma. Perhaps that's part of the reason I like her so much. I'm a 20-year-old INTJ and there's this 21-year-old INFJ for whom I have strong feelings. We met last month at one of the university's clubs. We share recreational and intellectual interests. I asked her out the night I met her, and we've had a few dates 1-on-1. (I'm a little inexperienced with dating, so please be understanding.)
These dates seemed to go well. The first two I planned out and we're pretty adventuresome. We went into the city and went longer than planned. She smiled, made eye-contact, and divulged lots of information about her family and her personality. She told me she had a good time.
However, her body language was inscrutable. There was no touching, not even a light touch on the shoulder. Near the end of the second date I asked if I could hold her hand, she said "sure" but she quickly let go after a few seconds and seemed a little flustered but cold. I told her very explicitly that I liked her and she said she wanted to "take things as they come."
Later I sent her an email saying that she should contact me if she wanted to hang out, and we had a much more informal date in the park. Everything felt cordial like we'd just met again. We later had coffee a few days later after she turned down my offer for a date in the city (she said she wanted to postpone it for later).
Because of midterms we didn't see each other for 2 weeks, until this weekend. There was a convention on campus we both attended, and we planned to meet up after a presentation. We were both in the audience and seated apart from each other. We saw each other during the speech. But afterwards she seemed to storm away from me.
I went after her nonetheless and by fate we got 2 free tickets to a concert that night. So we had a really nice dinner and went to the concert, followed by an after-party with mutual friends. I had 2 bottles of beer and she seemed much more flirtatious than before. Again, she would make no physical contact but we would verbally flirt. I'd touch her and she wouldn't recoil or move away.
One thing that concerned me was that she would touch other guys at the party and earlier that day while talking to them, though they weren't really verbally flirting. Though in my gut I think they are more her Platonic friends than anything else.
Anyway, the police came right as she began to drink (this was our first time in a setting with alcohol), and the party was shut down. I walked her home and while walking I tried to hold her hand (without asking) and she pulled her hand away. However, our conversation during the trip back was still really nice and we got along well.
At her door she asked me if I had a good time, and I told her that I had a good time because she was with me, and that I'm happy regardless of where I am as long as she's there. I told her that she knew my feelings and that if she should contact me if she wanted to see me again.
One potential problem is that she is going away in 2 months since she is an international student, and I told her I recognize that fact but would like to enjoy that time together anyway, no matter if it's short. Right before we parted that night, she said she might stay on for another semester (+4 months), though earlier she said she was definitely leaving in 2. (but of course it'd be egotistical to think it was on my account, right?)
Ahhh, I hope she doesn't somehow read this, lol! Thanks for reading guys and gals!
[[ THE CONDENSED VERSION (tl;dr) ]]
Still not sure on where her feelings lie:
-- She gets nervous around me or acts aloof like I don't matter.
-- She will not touch me, though she will flirt with me verbally.
-- She will touch other guys, though I don't think she likes them (maybe I'm wrong?)
-- She dislikes it when I try to hold her hand.
-- Yet she continues to see me when she knows I like her, since I told her.
