Okay....I'll play
How does your type affect the way you approach relationships?
...I can take a few days to call someone back & think nothing of it. Time is a strange concept to me; I have a poor sense of it and lose track of it easily. I also NEED massive amounts of alone time. I feel smothered easily.
When it comes to friendships, I've gotten better at being pro-active in making friends. I feel a huge vulnerability to put myself out there. In the past, putting myself out there was just exerting the energy to seem friendly, and hope the other person initiates something. Now, I'll go so far as to be the one to suggest we hang out or whatever. I'm still bad about keeping in touch, but I'm the kind of friend who is always there for a friend, even if we haven't spoken in months because I fell off the edge of the earth in lala land.
How does type affect your level or depth of feeling or attachment in relationships?
I don't get attached easily to people. I only form infatuations from a distance; once I get up close the bubble bursts, the fantasy is killed, and I realize the object of my obsession is just human after all.
I especially have a tendency to attach myself to an idea of a person when that person is not available in some way, probably so the fantasy is less in danger of being destroyed. When I get beyond that & actually do date someone, it tends to be someone I like in a friendly way, someone who I am comfortable with & who has decided to pursue me. I am pretty passive and will date almost anyone who pursues me enough, provided they meet some basic standards. There are not really any butterflies or instant connections. I've never been in love - probably because I date guys I like in a platonic way as its' "safe" and the ones I like in a romantic way are not yet worth the risk to my emotional feelings or ego or whatever it is I am protecting.
I'm very guarded and timid and it takes a lot to get me to relax my guard. Many people don't even know its up as I can also be nice in that quiet, harmless sort of way that makes people think not much feeling exists beyond that. Like a lot of NFs, I may throw out some seemingly personal info in an effort to relate to the other person. I think it's an almost subconscious attempt to put them at ease so
they open up to
me. If they don't know better, then they may think that is my guard has gone down when it has not.
Regarding friendships, most of mine are pretty casual. There are very few people in my life I have a strong attachment to. I like many people as friendly acquaintances. Others I am mostly indifferent to, and the ones I actively dislike are very few in number. But people I feel strongly about? A small handful: close friends and family. Most of these people date back to my childhood. I think I require more time than the average person to form a bond. It really takes a lot for me to become close to someone, but once I do, it will take even more to break that feeling.