INFJ's are Sadistic!

[Chessie]

There is a distinct difference between enjoying inflicting pain and enjoying inflicting harm. I see absolutely nothing pleasurable about mutilating someone. That is disgusting to me. Pain on the other hand is something else entirely.

If done correctly, pain brings a rush of endorphines. Pain can bring sexual arousal. Pain can cleanse the mind and increase well-being and personal awareness. Pain, again, if done correctly can raise self esteem. It's a well documented fact that people in the BDSM community have better mental health on average.

There is a line, yes. It is the line where consent is drawn and if consent is not respected, no sensation will be pleasant. I have friends who can take a lashing from a rubber single-tail whip that cuts skin with every strike (One of my best friends like to show this off. She's so fun!)but if you bring a feather within ten feet of her she'll safe-word instantly. Being tickled just doesn't do it for her emotionally.

 

[Peppermint]

There is a distinct difference between enjoying inflicting pain and enjoying inflicting harm. I see absolutely nothing pleasurable about mutilating someone. That is disgusting to me. Pain on the other hand is something else entirely.

If done correctly, pain brings a rush of endorphines. Pain can bring sexual arousal. Pain can cleanse the mind and increase well-being and personal awareness. Pain, again, if done correctly can raise self esteem. It's a well documented fact that people in the BDSM community have better mental health on average.

There is a line, yes. It is the line where consent is drawn and if consent is not respected, no sensation will be pleasant. I have friends who can take a lashing from a rubber single-tail whip that cuts skin with every strike (One of my best friends like to show this off. She's so fun!)but if you bring a feather within ten feet of her she'll safe-word instantly. Being tickled just doesn't do it for her emotionally.

That's not exactly what I was referring to.

The destructive urge, in my opinion, doesn't have to have anything to do with inflicting pain on people, it doesn't have to have anything to do with people at all. It could be focused on inanimate objects, for example.

What I'm saying is that I agree that all of us potentially have a destructive beast lurking within, but this beast doesn't have to be sadistic in conjuction with being destructive.

 

[Chessie]

I find that if the beast is destructive then it has been repressed and grown too large.

People who are sadistic in a safe fashion are making use of a means of keeping what could become a destructive impulse from getting out of control by inflicting pain in a consensual manner.

 

[Praefect]

I think the source is the same but it is flavored differntly. The mix of intentions and emotional state, the ability to take control... is what differentiates the two.

 

[acd]

Most people can relate to wanting to hurt/harm/violate someone but are deeply unaware of the violence of their own personalities. I think that all too often it is people who embrace the violent sides of themselves are some of the most truthworthy persons I know. If you know your own violence then you can control it.

A man who doesn't know how violent he can be, when he's pushed far enough, can simply snap and kill someone. It happens every year plenty of times. People who deny violence the most loudly in private become the most vicious of monsters in public. Take mob-mentality in so called 'peace religions' or the unspeakable acts against women and children. These people live constantly fighting themselves. It's the very idea of sin. They must never let their inner monster out.

That monster needs to be let out sometimes. It feeds on fear, repressed anger, hatred, prejudice, and isolation. You let it out and connect it with the world, make it stand in the light and hold onto it's leash and you keep it small and controlled and in your hands rather than the hands of people who would turn you to violence. Pundits, generals, soldiers, policemen, preachers...they live off the monsters inside people being held down and kept quiet. They fear it when the monster, which is also passion and anger and strength...comes out.

I am well aware of my own violent capabilities. I've been in fights. I've assaulted people verbally when I felt threatened. I've emotionally battered people just to feel powerful. I grew up in a violent home where my own father chased us out with a gun. I grew up getting into fist fights with boys and girls alike.

And at some point, the violence I've seen and been a part of was enough to show me that deep down, it's not who I am. I don't crave it. Have you ever actually felt like your own family could kill you or your sibling or your mother if they wanted to? I'm well acquainted with violence and the reactions it evokes from deeply within.

I'm compelled to nurture and protect people because I have seen and been a part of such violence for a large part of my life. It's done the opposite for me. Because I've felt powerless and abused I never want to make anyone else feel that way. We might be talking about entirely different things. All I know is that sadism seems to have been a motif in my past.. and there was nothing liberating or cleansing or healthy about it on either side. I look inside myself and I don't see a monster. Maybe it's different for some. I'm having a hard time understanding how it's justifiable.

Also Chessie.. it's possible that your brand of BDSM is quite different from what Praefect was talking about... which included non consentual sadism... Befuddled as I am with the whole idea of inflicting pain on another to get off, I'm willing to admit that. So I wasn't really addressing you in my previous post.

 

[Soulful]

Out of curiosity, is everyone on the same page? I ask because I can't tell if it's me who's not grasping what's being said or if there are several conversations going on within the same conversation.

I'm of the opinion that not everyone has an inner violent nature. Whether it is that they are born without one or that their life experiences completely draw them in the other direction, there are plenty of people who would be deeply hurt and sickened both by harming people AND by hurting them. That's non-sexually speaking.

As far as sexual pleasure is concerned, I do not believe that everyone is sexually sadistic.