[INFJ] - INFJs and Internet Dating Sites | INFJ Forum

[INFJ] INFJs and Internet Dating Sites

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by emerysfriend, Aug 13, 2012.

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  1. emerysfriend

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    Do you believe INFJs are more likely to use an internet dating site to meet a partner? I'm thinking yes because it may be easier to meet someone for an INFJ rather than just being out in the world talking with strangers, etc.

    But, even as an ENFP, I find this exhausting and stressful because what do you say to the person at the end of the evening? What if you don't want to see the person again but don't want to hurt that person's feelings? I would think that dating would be even more stressful for an INFJ.

    How long before you think you would start to feel like a person could be the right person for you?

    Would you keep looking at other profiles on a dating site until you had firmly decided you had met a potentially good person for you? How long would it take you to decide if a person was potentially right for you? How often would you like to see someone if you did feel the person might be a good fit? I'm thinking the more heavily introverted the INFJ is, the less they would want to see the person.

    As an ENFP, we think about the person we're interested in constantly. Are INFJs like this?

    Thanks!
     
  2. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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    I used to use dating sites a fair bit in addition to just being out and about doing the usual stuff. It made sense to have an online presence since life is pretty much a big marketing contest as is dating. I hate getting bogged down with endless online discussion though and usually try to get or give a number and a meet up for coffee so I can see if there's any chemistry there without investing too much time into it. At 1st it was tough to do, because I wasn't so great at meeting strangers, but with anything its like a muscle the more you work it the easier it gets. Then I started to wise up and stop doing the whole dinner scenario. You would be Ammaaaazed at how many girls are on there just to get a free dinner/drinks. I have even gotten a few of them to admit it.
     
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  3. 5r6jhd

    5r6jhd I put on my robe and wizard hat.
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    I tried internet dating, and I will say...never again.

    I only tried one site....okcupid. I found it to be the dating site for hipsters, honestly and I didn't really find that many interesting people on there. I clicked with a few, but people often misrepresent themselves and then there's this awkward moment when you show up and are like "oh....".

    Talking via text, while nice, is also difficult when dealing with romantic relationships. You might get on great and feel chemistry through text, but in person it doesn't flow and you don't find yourself attracted to the person at all.

    I had a horrible time with online dating....hurt someone, picked up a few stalkers and generally found the whole thing exhausting.

    I officially like being single, and I think i'll stick to meeting people through normals means. It's just easier.
     
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  4. CindyLou

    CindyLou Get over it

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    It is a dangerous place to try to find love.
     
  5. _Alex_

    _Alex_ Newbie

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    I tried it but sticking to normal means from now on. Years ago I did meet a girlfriend online and we stayed together for quite some time, but that website was not a dating site to begin with and I was not looking for anyone either. For me I think communication is much harder online, I rely a lot on what I feel and what I pick up from reading/watching the other person and that is very hard to do online. So instead I put a lot of weight on words and analyze them and most other people different from me doesn't, which makes it easy to over interpet things. In real life I can normally read a person first time meeting them and I will know straight away if this is someone I will work with or not. Not to mention that online dating is mostly very shallow and all about how good you look in your pictures.
     
  6. Chess

    Chess Community Member

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    I did not enjoy it one bit. I'm not a fan of the time, money, and social energy needed to go out on regular dates to get to know the person behind the profile, and when you throw in the fact that it takes me ages to decide whether or not I really want to be with someone I'm just wasting everyone's time. People go to online dating when they want things done and done fast.

    I'm also not out about my orientation offline, so that made things a bit tricky since I didn't want to use the "I do not want to be seen by heterosexuals" option.
     
  7. Rcs6r

    Rcs6r Must be the feeling~
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    I've never considered it. I had a friend who used it a couple times; said it was really more for hooking up and hoping for the best. :m145: Ideally, I like to meet potential partners in a group scenario through a mutual friend. It just feels more natural, and my friend would be there for support should I fancy someone. Everyone's out, having fun. I can be myself around friends. If there's chemistry, great. Throw in a "we should hang out sometime". Get phone number. Winning.
     
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  8. Sai

    Sai Community Member

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    i think i could be nice. Maybe you can meet people that you could never meet in other situations! and even more if the person usually hangs around different places than you.
     
  9. Nixie

    Nixie Resurrected

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    That is just sideways thinking.....
     
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  10. Peppermint

    Peppermint Well-known member

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    I don't like them. They seem like marketplaces for people. There's something about openly advertizing yourself for a relationship or sex online that strikes me as very tacky and inappropriate. For some people it might mean being open and straightforward, but to me it seems either/or distasteful, attention whorish, desperate.
     
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  11. Nixie

    Nixie Resurrected

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    I dunno. Going to a meat-market bar is where you get to really see the attention whores in their natural habitat. One side of me says it is less aggravation because everyone is there for a reason--it is more low key, less pressure because it isn't like they are in front of you wanting an answer. Call me old fashioned though because I have never seriously thought about joining one. I can see how some people would make the choice.
     
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  12. 5r6jhd

    5r6jhd I put on my robe and wizard hat.
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    No, I can definitely see the attraction in using them, I'd never judge.

    I found there was a combination of people using the site I was on.

    1. Married men looking for sex
    2. Desperate men looking for sex.
    3. Desperate men looking for anything.
    4. The odd few nice people who had commitments or odd working/studying hours that made it difficult to meet people

    The last group never seemed to stick around long, myself included. Eeek!
     
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  13. Tin Man

    Tin Man "a respectable amount of screaming"

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    I've never actually joined one since they always attract the same type of woman, usually ESFPs. I live in Ireland, all I have to do is walk out my door if I want to meet an ESFP.
     
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  14. Sai

    Sai Community Member

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    what do you mean? ive really never tried that stuff is not popular in my country at all.
    I would try it if there was a nice dating site with more than just pics about people.
     
  15. Billy

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    I don't get all the complaints, I am seeing a lot of LIARS here who are talking shit about a very viable form of communication and meeting new people. You get out of these sites what you put into them. If you dont put anything in, and you just wait for people to message you then you're only going to get that sporadic guy who sends a message to every profile lookiung for sex. And if you send out 1 email and get no answers back,broaden your scope next time send out 10 and you'll get 1. Like anything in life, you have to learn how to use the useful things and discard the novice mistakes that net you bad results.

    I really dont get the people who talk shit about online dating sites etc, 1st of all a HUGE number of people meet that way now, its not the 90s anymore, its a portion of our culture... its established. Abstaining from it doesn't make you better than the people who don't, it doesn't make you more respectable, more outgoing, less nerdy or any of that shit, it just makes you ignorant, biased, or insecure, possibly all 3.
     
  16. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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    You dont have to explain, she was just joking im sure. Either way you still don't have to explain or own up to thinking these sites are good ideas. They are, and they make money for a reason. Anybody who pretends that sitting in a loud ass bar all night waiting for the right someone to come through the door is the better answer is mistaken.
     
  17. 894tt3h9

    On Holiday

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    I have tried online dating. I had a profile up and would get a lot of messages. A LOT. To the point that it was overwhelming. I felt obligated to communicate with every single person that reached out to me. I feel like I could never reject someone on first glance of a profile because their appearance and what they can say about themselves is just a fraction of who they were. Out of the hundreds that I spoke to I have only ever met up with a few and none of them ended up being romantic prospects.

    The men that I have met who I did end up developing a chemistry with were also online but they happened by accident and not because one of us was seeking the other. We just happened to be in an online environment and it went from there. Almost as if we met by mistake and just clicked.

    Online dating is fine. I have had some very bad experiences with it but I would never count it out. I think it do it again I would have to be at a point where I was very seriously interested in meeting someone for either sex or a relationship. Right now I am happy with casual connections that are unspecified and without expectations and because of that I don't put myself out there. If I am ready to date seriously then I would try it again. It's just another means to meet people.
     
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  18. Shaqie

    Shaqie The Grandmaster in Disguise

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    From my experience and what I know about the INFJ's I do not believe that Internet Dating Sites would be used for finding anyone.
    INFJ's, from what I know, are soul-readers. They would need to see the person in front of them to get to know them. Dating sits do not communicate enough.
    In my case I do not date though the Internet. I find it extremely stupid and impractical. The best way to be social is to be outside in the world, where you can communicate completely with people, sensing their body language, instead of trying to get to understand what did he/she typed to you on Facebook or what ever site you use.
     
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  19. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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    Soul readers? you have got to be joking... nobody courts in online dating sites, online dating sites should only be used up to the 1st date. Then they become useless since you have what you need. A person to interact with. Your post smacks of ignorance.
     
  20. Shaqie

    Shaqie The Grandmaster in Disguise

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    Soul readers is a little bit overexagerated yes true, but still ...
    ... internet dating for me is impractical, even for just one date.
     
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