INFJ Shadow | INFJ Forum

INFJ Shadow

sumone

sumone

down the rabbit hole
Dec 20, 2008
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Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the INFJ's shadow may appear - a negative form of ESTP. Example characteristics are:
  • acting very impulsively, making decisions without thinking them through
  • doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising
  • being critical of others, and finding fault with almost everything
  • being preoccupied about unimportant details and doing things that have no meaning
  • acting in a very materialistic and selfish way
  • cutting corners, breaking the rules, and even contradicting the INFJ's own values
Click to expand...

Before I discovered personality typing this shadow side really drove me crazy. I felt like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde at times and I worried I might have some sort of split personality that only comes out now and then. I'd hate myself for giving in to the shadow EFITALL kind of frame of mind. Since I discovered this information I can easily spot the signs of it trying to rise up and I can keep it under control much more easily.
 
oh lookie, it's me... :mcry:

this just gave a whole lot of relief. i can relate with all of those.
 
sumone said:
Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the INFJ's shadow may appear - a negative form of ESTP. Example characteristics are:
  • acting very impulsively, making decisions without thinking them through
  • doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising
  • being critical of others, and finding fault with almost everything
  • being preoccupied about unimportant details and doing things that have no meaning
  • acting in a very materialistic and selfish way
  • cutting corners, breaking the rules, and even contradicting the INFJ's own values
Click to expand...

Wow. I think my shadow got me through my adolescence right up until age 25.

I think back on that "me" with contempt, as though she were another person... I'm thinking now I can drum up a little sympathy for her/myotherself.
 
* acting very impulsively, making decisions without thinking them through
* doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising
* being preoccupied about unimportant details and doing things that have no meaning
* cutting corners, breaking the rules, and even contradicting the INFJ's own values


Yeah, I'm totally doing those certain things right now. I kind of wonder if it's entirely bad though. Especially the last one. I find that I have so many rules, things that I do because I believe they're the right thing to do...like not lying, cheating or taking advantage of others. But it seems to me that there are others out there who only look out for themselves (especially at my job) and are actually enjoying things that I've been working so hard for years to get. I feel like I need to stop caring so much about other people and do something for myself for a change.

Not saying that I'm going to lie or cheat my way into stuff. But I'm kind of ready to just abandon the people at work even though this is a bad time to do so.
 
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Yeah, that definitely describes me under stress. I hate it when I'm like that; I don't like myself under those conditions. It seems to happen way too often, though...like recently...
Man, I'll be happy when things slow down and I can just concentrate on my art, without a ton of other crap getting in the way...
 
I tend to revert to my shadow self when I perceive that I'm under attack or cornered.
 
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I act out more of the negative ENFP traits when I am under extreme stress. For example, I will think of many possibilities for many things and make connections that are completely irrational(Ne), dwell on my negative emotions (Fi), and negative past experiences (Si). Is that unusual for an INFJ? However I will act a little like the the bolded items also.



Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the INFJ's shadow may appear - a negative form of ESTP. Example characteristics are:
  • acting very impulsively, making decisions without thinking them through
  • doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising
  • being critical of others, and finding fault with almost everything (mainly with myself than with other people)
  • being preoccupied about unimportant details and doing things that have no meaning
  • acting in a very materialistic and selfish way
  • cutting corners, breaking the rules, and even contradicting the INFJ's own values
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Confused Mind said:
I act out more of the negative ENFP traits when I am under extreme stress. For example, I will think of many possibilities for many things and make connections that are completely irrational(Ne), dwell on my negative emotions (Fi), and negative past experiences (Si). Is that unusual for an INFJ? However I will act a little like the the bolded items also.




Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the INFJ's shadow may appear - a negative form of ESTP. Example characteristics are:
  • acting very impulsively, making decisions without thinking them through
  • doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising
  • being critical of others, and finding fault with almost everything (mainly with myself than with other people)
  • being preoccupied about unimportant details and doing things that have no meaning
  • acting in a very materialistic and selfish way
  • cutting corners, breaking the rules, and even contradicting the INFJ's own values
Click to expand...

Yeah man this is pretty much me too, uuuggh this is why I lover poker

the top bullet there, you have to be calm and collected when you are playing poker, if you can lose 50 dollars or even 100 dollars (at my stakes) in like 2 days, and still strive to make the right desicions by thinking through your options then it spills over into all facets of your life no matter how stressed you are.
 
I go shadow when I know I am going to fail something, and I know there is no way for me to fix it.
 
Wow have I got a story associated with this little bit of INFJ lore. It's long and kinda dull (unless you're a psych major) and involves many details of my own mind's workings, so I'll spare the rod and hope I don't spoil you all.

Basically I went nuts and had my Shadow run the show for a while. I am where I am right now because of this and am still sifting through the rubble of my Self to find what I may.

Have I mentioned I'm not ever vague or enigmatic in my communications? :m171:
 
sumone said:
Quote:
Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the INFJ's shadow may appear - a negative form of ESTP. Example characteristics are:
  • acting very impulsively, making decisions without thinking them through
  • doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising
  • being critical of others, and finding fault with almost everything
  • being preoccupied about unimportant details and doing things that have no meaning
  • acting in a very materialistic and selfish way
  • cutting corners, breaking the rules, and even contradicting the INFJ's own values
Click to expand...
woah, I do all of those around a few specific people. I never realized it was a fully fledged Shadow! I really need to dissassociate my self from them.:bump2:
 
VindurNótt said:
woah, I do all of those around a few specific people. I never realized it was a fully fledged Shadow! I really need to dissassociate my self from them.:bump2:
Click to expand...

Or acknowledge that all of those "darker" traits are just as much you as all the parts you accept. Well... if you're ready to go and experience some shifting around of your personality.
 
I've been guilty of all of those things. But, I've been working really hard to be more aware of myself and analyze what is happening instead of automatically reacting to stress. I don't know if it's necessarily healthy, but I pretty much remove myself from the situation, like watching a movie, and then I make a decision. And it has helped so, so much. I've had numerous mini breakthroughs over the last year and I'm realizing that with each success, it's becoming easier.
 
Thoth said:
Or acknowledge that all of those "darker" traits are just as much you as all the parts you accept. Well... if you're ready to go and experience some shifting around of your personality.
Click to expand...
are you kidding me? I LOVE my shadow!! It never ceases to amazing how an overly passive person like myself can becaome an absolute b- ahem not-so-nice person! I just meant that being around these people and people who I actually like can be a problem, because them my shadow starts working on my friends as well. Then afterwards I feel terrible for going of on my freinds because of this person.
 
VindurNótt said:
are you kidding me? I LOVE my shadow!! It never ceases to amazing how an overly passive person like myself can becaome an absolute b- ahem not-so-nice person! I just meant that being around these people and people who I actually like can be a problem, because them my shadow starts working on my friends as well. Then afterwards I feel terrible for going of on my freinds because of this person.
Click to expand...

Yup. Mine seemed to have been triggered by a sense of confinement in a socially established "role" that I was expected to play. Noone really knew it was happening, but the simple pressure of social expectations (for some inexplicable reason) suddenly started to get to me. As a result, the brunt of my Shadow's acting out was directed towards my friends and family.
 
My ENTJ shadow only comes out in video games, hah it would be scary in real life.
 
I have shown all of those tendancies at times. And I also embrace them when I need to be the Shadow....:m106: lol..
 
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