INFJ Shadow | Page 6 | INFJ Forum

INFJ Shadow

I think I go shadow when I'm "hurt".

It would make sense.

Except the whole "impulsiveness" tangent was not in any way theraputic, and it has caused me even more grief in the long run. The only benefit was having interesting stories to tell.
 
Soulful said:
Sometimes I've questioned my type. But that might be because I've lived much of my life in shadow. It's sucked. I often wondered why I felt like such a cold-hearted, uncaring, unemotive, selfish, critical jerk. It is definitely a Dr Jekyll and Hyde situation.

Are there people in your life who only see you / tend to know you as your shadow? For myself, I feel like most of my family (except my sister) tends to think of me in that way, especially my mom. I think they think it's who I am.
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around my parents, i'm very guarded and it's almost like i do not want to be found out. as in much of the time i act like an undercover INFJ around them with a handicap F function. they know me very well as an apathetic ESTP or stubborn INTJ. the reason this is so is because i do not trust them with my emotions or do not trust myself with my emotions toward them. i do care, but my caring often becomes skewed into tough love. it's very dysfunctional.
 
perhaps it is just my family...

and perhaps it is also the fact that i've already been to the point where i have been pushed to the limits with them.

i've tried to be considerate with them, but after each failed attempt i began to build resistance to their feelings, which now has evolved into apathy.

i feel nothing.
sometimes, i feel like i could deeply be in shadow mode... i haven't felt 'normal' in a year....it seems the idealism is lost. i feel like i can't feel. my sensitivity is gone. i don't know if it's for better or worse. i don't cry and get hurt at every remark, but in a way i feel like i've learned not to.

... :/ i think i need to learn about myself more, because honestly i don't know HOW i react when i'm stressed.

recently very impulsive (with my family) i act immediately to get out of the situation, but feel horrible afterwards (insensitivity)
 
I think the difference between the two shadow theories is interesting - especially since one is the same four processes in the opposite order, and the other is the four opposite processes in the same order.

I definitely go ESTJ when stressed, though. I organize everything and optimize the entire world.

Going ENFJ wouldn't make sense, as while I am good at Ni, Fe, and Ti......if someone told me to use Se I would have no idea what to do.
 
I know my darkside or shadow as its called here intimately. I have learnt to embrace it, to use the strength from it to help others. This was not easy to do, you need to find the strength of character to do this, to not stay in that state permanently. You keep what you can use and discard the rest which sounds simple in theory but in practice it is not.

It has made me able to help the more troubled, darker souls that most shy away from. These darker souls are aware of this as I exude it to a degree and they are comfortable to open up to me and I can then show them another way of interacting, to use their "bad qualities" that are hurting people / their career / themselves, to draw a strength from it and project it in a positive way.

It is not easy as these people are tough, hard, cold and will challenge your reasoning to the extreme. To see the impact that you've had on the few you could help is very rewarding for me.
 
Thats me in orchestra class... lol
I'm put down and not recognized for what I deserve. It's gotten better though.
 
Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the INFJ's shadow may appear - a negative form of ESTP. Example characteristics are:
  • acting very impulsively, making decisions without thinking them through
  • doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising
  • being critical of others, and finding fault with almost everything
  • being preoccupied about unimportant details and doing things that have no meaning
  • acting in a very materialistic and selfish way
  • cutting corners, breaking the rules, and even contradicting the INFJ's own values
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Hello there.

Yeah, been there, done that; oh well, just had an intimate conversation with my shadow. about a quarter to half of this year of mine could be generalized as controlled --that would imply unconscious and innocence, so, moved?-- by my shadow. I feel so much for soulful there : |

Of course -- in retrospect, I don't feel good. But yeah, I agreed with dark_angel:embracing it, to a point, is another strength altogether. A strength that's very imbalanced, very unstabilized at the beginning, but a useful strength nonetheless.

I feel like a non-stop bulldozer made of glass; I won't stop, and I BROKE with the lightest touch, ever. Even slight stupidity....horrifies me to no end (and cue the bitchiness!); BUT, on the other hand, I know how to fight. A weak and shallow way to fight, as opposed to the usual INFJ way of fighting, but yes, a way to fight nonetheless. And gaining strength from it. And they said you can't feel heaven before you feel hell...so..there.
Are there people in your life who only see you / tend to know you as your shadow?
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Probably the people who should have been the closest ones. My family, my friends-- because when I'm in Shadow Mode (man, I'm so making this a videogame skillz), I stay LONG, and people are bound to realize.

And with the help of it too, I will rise back to my INFJ self. I won't reject you; I'll walk together there with you.
 
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A very intuitive and simple description.

INFJ-Functions-with-Shadow.jpg
 
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