Agreed.
Agreed, and no one is completely self-aware. To that end, find someone with a similar degree of self-awareness, someone whose love languages are of like kind, and someone who has a matching libido and sexual interests. Tall ask? You bet—but it isn’t going to work any other way.
So one must do one of two things, or both of them—endeavor to bring one’s unconscious to awareness on the regular by whatever way or means of your liking, and/or partner yourself with someone who loves you enough to not push your buttons, and you not push theirs, even when aware of them.
I agree with your last point, but the initial point I do not agree with. We may not choose who we are attracted to, but becoming partnered with someone is most certainly a choice. It results from a number of decisions and actions, all of which we are responsible for.
Yep.
I disagree. You don’t have to do anything. You choose, and you have autonomy and agency here. That language sounds too much like settling to my ear.
Sure...
One will perhaps grow, and become more of who they are, but I’m not so sure people will, with certainty, change dramatically, much less change much at all in any fundamental or substantive way over time.
Agreed, but my sense is that if you think or feel the need to do this, you likely aren’t in the right relationship, or you aren’t ready for a relationship.
I can hardly believe I’m saying this, but it is possible to just go about things and have it work, and not in a state of blissful ignorance either. Some people will oscillate at a given frequency, and when yours is in unison, or a perfect harmonic, it becomes very, very simple.
Yes, one still has to communicate—but it can be about they joys of what you are building, and not continual review of an imagined blueprint, or revision to a foundation that was poured and set long ago.
Cheers,
Ian
