INFJ male + INTP female | Page 4 | INFJ Forum

INFJ male + INTP female

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by INFJ1, Jan 28, 2018.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 11 users.
More threads by INFJ1
  1. Reason

    Reason :m114:

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2017
    Threads:
    48
    Messages:
    4,586
    Featured Threads:
    31
    Likes Received:
    22,553
    Trophy Points:
    2,837
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Clown World
    MBTI:
    INTP
    When @infinite dreams slaughterbombs in a thread

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  2. infinite dreams

    infinite dreams Serene Doge

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2017
    Threads:
    3
    Messages:
    1,307
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    6,377
    Trophy Points:
    1,327
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    INTP
    Enneagram:
    5w4
  3. IntpFemale

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2019
    Threads:
    0
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    9
    Trophy Points:
    423
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    Intp
    BUT REALLY EVERYONE- I HAVE A QUESTION:
    I found a guy I like who is an INFJ. He's sweet and dorky and I like him. I don't have a history of long relationships (I usually know what I want to avoid) so I'm a bit at sea. I'm worried that I won't be able to eventually meet his emotional needs because I'm just that clueless.

    It sounds like INFJs tend to get clingy or INTPs feel bad about not being able to anticipate INFJ needs. How do I do my part as the INTP? I think I want to have a relationship and he seems into me. How do I not mess it up? Saying communication is all well and good, but how much? How often? Do INFJs have any stories of clingy INTPs? (It's not really in our nature I know, but are you even able to perceive neediness from an INTP?)
     
    Lady Jolanda, Hostarius and Reason like this.
  4. Hostarius

    Hostarius Apostate INFJ

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2018
    Threads:
    16
    Messages:
    3,533
    Featured Threads:
    11
    Likes Received:
    26,618
    Trophy Points:
    2,242
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK, a part of the EU
    MBTI:
    INTJ
    Enneagram:
    1w2
    Be yourself.

    You will mess it up. Everyone messes it up. Stop worrying about this, and trust that the 'us' will be able to fix whatever happens. Just don't cross the red lines (cheating, &c.).

    Ironically this is something you will have to communicate about. There is no objective rule about this, every couple is different and it will be up to the both of you to figure out what's best for the 'us'.

    Why are you worried about clinginess? This again seems to indicate that you just need to talk to the chap about what the proper balance in the relationship should be.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  5. IntpFemale

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2019
    Threads:
    0
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    9
    Trophy Points:
    423
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    Intp


    Thank you for takinh the time to dissect my worries and reply :)
     
  6. ClevelandINTP

    ClevelandINTP Community Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2018
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    557
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    684
    Trophy Points:
    847
    MBTI:
    INTP
    Enneagram:
    7, 4, 8 and2
    Late to the party

    This is an interesting post

    There is some truth to the whole thing where we play off wanting to be in control

    We do

    But it’s usually because we think we have a better way and we’re used to dealing with others being in control and that puts a lot of pain on us. We are not good at seizing control early, and instead we defer and then come to resent because we realize the leaders usually have ideas that do not inspire excellence or innovation to the degree we think they are capable of

    Now, I don’t think we are unreasonable. Most things we do are for reasons and logical. So work on figuring out what each wants and negotiate. I’m sure most INTPs would love that

    We don’t know how to tell you how we feel. We’re not the best at it. We don’t think the other person would even care sometimes. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s not an excuse—we can be better at that. And mature INTPs get better over time. In this setup, I think the INFJ could take the lead or initiate that better

    We don’t think we’re better than anybody. Honestly, that’s goes against our whole ethos

    In sum, we’re not good at feelings, but, we really have a deep desire to learn about people and develop Fe. Give us a chance on that and you might see the biggest return on investment of any type

    Yeah, we secretly want control. Our nonchalant attitudes are total power plays
     
    #66 ClevelandINTP, Mar 7, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2019
    Puzzlenuzzle, Hostarius and Wyote like this.
  7. ClevelandINTP

    ClevelandINTP Community Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2018
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    557
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    684
    Trophy Points:
    847
    MBTI:
    INTP
    Enneagram:
    7, 4, 8 and2
    Oh, and I don’t think an INFJ dude could handle an INTP female

    INFJ dudes should stick with less dominant types. I mean the initial post was this guy getting run over by an ESFJ

    AN ESFJ

    The INTP females I’ve met are pretty awesome in my opinion and headstrong

    If you can’t take it, leave

    The other option is these two types can learn how to handle conflict better with each other
     
  8. Hostarius

    Hostarius Apostate INFJ

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2018
    Threads:
    16
    Messages:
    3,533
    Featured Threads:
    11
    Likes Received:
    26,618
    Trophy Points:
    2,242
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK, a part of the EU
    MBTI:
    INTJ
    Enneagram:
    1w2
    LOL
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  9. ClevelandINTP

    ClevelandINTP Community Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2018
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    557
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    684
    Trophy Points:
    847
    MBTI:
    INTP
    Enneagram:
    7, 4, 8 and2
    Just an opinion

    Consider changing less dominant types to types willing and wanting a more sensitive man

    Those INTP women have no time for wimps, and like things just as direct as the INTP men
     
  10. ClevelandINTP

    ClevelandINTP Community Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2018
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    557
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    684
    Trophy Points:
    847
    MBTI:
    INTP
    Enneagram:
    7, 4, 8 and2
    I’m dealing with an INTP woman now for reference, and oh my god, that woman loves debate and finding loopholes in arguements
     
  11. soulareclipse

    soulareclipse Community Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2019
    Threads:
    6
    Messages:
    285
    Featured Threads:
    5
    Likes Received:
    1,504
    Trophy Points:
    902
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    in my head
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    5w4
    She must have a field day with you!

    Joking aside, I can't help but kind of agree with Cleve to some extent on this one. Hell, I'm INFJ female and even I managed to hurt a male INFJ's feelings to the point that he apparently doesn't even see the value in talking to me anymore. I provided honest feedback, but no amount of good will or sensitivity surrounding the issue/conversation could make up for it. Sorry/not sorry that I didn't lie by omission and blow smoke up his ass, but if that's what's required to be someone's friend, I really don't see the point in being friends anyway.

    That said, most all of the INFJ males (and females ftm) here that I've talked to/interacted with have been fully able to make a logical argument while keeping a level head. They're not the drama-queeny, passive-agressive wimps that they seem to be stereotypically described as being. Also, they're funny as shit and can roast with the best of them and take it as well. I like much funny.

    I don't agree that sensitivity = wimp. I'm sensitive af, but that doesn't make me a coward, nor would I make that association with anyone else. The only way that's fair is if it's equally accurate to say that honesty = asshole, which I don't believe to be categorically true either.

    Still, it's reckless and irresponsible to make sweeping generalizations about any group of people for any reason. The overall mental and emotional health, as well as the maturity level of an individual is going to weigh far more heavily on their ability to have positive personal interactions, regardless of MB type.

    I think this should be the first option. It's not always easy, but def possible if both parties are mature enough to take this approach, and it can make for an incredibly rewarding relationship.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  12. Lady Jolanda

    Lady Jolanda The Queen of Sophistry
    Staff Member Tech Admins

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2017
    Threads:
    17
    Messages:
    2,817
    Featured Threads:
    3
    Likes Received:
    27,372
    Trophy Points:
    2,367
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    The Netherlands
    MBTI:
    xNxx
    Enneagram:
    6-4-9
    So have you learned anything from her? :D

    Just a few posts above yours, an INTP woman showed interest in an INFJ male. I'm sure she knows best who she wants to invest her time in.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Wyote, Reason, soulareclipse and 2 others like this.
  13. ClevelandINTP

    ClevelandINTP Community Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2018
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    557
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    684
    Trophy Points:
    847
    MBTI:
    INTP
    Enneagram:
    7, 4, 8 and2
    I’ve learned it’s both weird and interesting to talk to someone who thinks similarly to you. Also, it feels good because I’ve gone through life without that

    Time will tell on the second bit. Of the INTP women I’ve met, they seem to prefer headstrong vs sensitive. Could possibly accept sensitive if the person is quirky and smart to boot. Unless they are women into women, I’ve met those INTPs too, and they tend to take on the masculine role (limited sample size)
     
    Hostarius and Wyote like this.
  14. Wyote

    Wyote Con Risa Absoluta
    Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2008
    Threads:
    224
    Messages:
    26,977
    Featured Threads:
    14
    Likes Received:
    116,316
    Trophy Points:
    4,271
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    Ni Space
    Enneagram:
    9 Seas
    You like yourself, it's gonna go well
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  15. ClevelandINTP

    ClevelandINTP Community Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2018
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    557
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    684
    Trophy Points:
    847
    MBTI:
    INTP
    Enneagram:
    7, 4, 8 and2
    I’ve missed you, too
     
    soulareclipse, Wyote and Hostarius like this.
  16. Hostarius

    Hostarius Apostate INFJ

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2018
    Threads:
    16
    Messages:
    3,533
    Featured Threads:
    11
    Likes Received:
    26,618
    Trophy Points:
    2,242
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK, a part of the EU
    MBTI:
    INTJ
    Enneagram:
    1w2
    You keep doing this. You keep invoking pseudo-scientific terminology to describe your personal anecdotal experience, and I keep wondering why.

    Is your ability to change registers to suit your audience wonky? Or do you really have no respect for the concept of a 'sample' within the context of an empirical study?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Lady Jolanda likes this.
  17. Wyote

    Wyote Con Risa Absoluta
    Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2008
    Threads:
    224
    Messages:
    26,977
    Featured Threads:
    14
    Likes Received:
    116,316
    Trophy Points:
    4,271
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    Ni Space
    Enneagram:
    9 Seas
    :kissingheart:
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  18. ClevelandINTP

    ClevelandINTP Community Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2018
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    557
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    684
    Trophy Points:
    847
    MBTI:
    INTP
    Enneagram:
    7, 4, 8 and2
    I mean, I’ve met all these people randomly. I don’t force interactions. I have tried to talk to any INTP I’ve ever met

    I’m not exactly conducting a study here. Just living. But since you’re kind of calling me out, I’d hope you know it is possible for one to live their life and discover truth, and it not to be anecdotal...

    The hypotheses and conclusions are the same either way in this case

    I appreciate your attention to detail

    I’d just ask you why you’re so serious about this considering the above
     
    Hostarius likes this.
  19. soulareclipse

    soulareclipse Community Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2019
    Threads:
    6
    Messages:
    285
    Featured Threads:
    5
    Likes Received:
    1,504
    Trophy Points:
    902
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    in my head
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    5w4
    tenor1.gif
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    ClevelandINTP likes this.
Loading...

Share This Page