INFJ male + INTP female

Hi there and welcome to the forum.

Speaking for the INTP delegation, I can say with certainty that you're manifesting two things that we generally despise - drama, and pressure. "How to lose an INTP in 10 minutes," basically. We don't lay these things on other people, and we expect the favor to be returned in kind.

You've got stuff from your past that haunts you. That doesn't make you special. It makes you an adult who has lived and felt things. Your INTP friend also has things that haunt her. She probably doesn't feel the need to let those things creep to the surface amidst otherwise normal and healthy interactions with another person. As Fe-users, INTPs typically do not like burdening others with the chaff of past experiences. Talk about them, sure. Emote all over someone about them, no.

The good news is if she's still talking to you, she's interested. I echo wholeheartedly her assertion that things need to develop organically. INTPs do not like strictures to be placed on their personal interactions, including deadlines or heavy-handed expectations. I'm glad you're able to admit that your behavior in this regard is partially due to your own insecurities as it shows a good deal of self-awareness on your part. It's probably also helpful for your friend to know that. My guess is that she will now expect you to work on improving and mitigating those insecurities.

Look at it this way. If what the two of you have is real, she will continue to be there for you, so there's no need for you to place undue restrictions on her or attempt to hurry things along. If not, she won't and that will suck, but you'll move on with your life.

If you're concerned about her playing the field, don't be. It takes a lot of mental energy for an INTP to handle just one relationship, so she is very unlikely to be looking elsewhere. When or if she's no longer interested, you'll know it.

Good luck!

 

INTP= not worth it.

Sorry dude, this is a one sided issue plain and simple. If you continue on this path you will wake from your daydream and realize that the INTP was grooming you all along to fit the mold of what they want.

her is the secret that INTPs dont want you to know.

THEY LIE......they claim to not want control.....BUT the truth is....
there ultimate desire is to be 100% in control of the relationship.
How much TIME is being spent together
How much free time they have
How Much free time you have
What activities are done in the time spent together
what is the "status" of the relationship WHO dictates the status?
They control how you Talk to them
When you talk to them
They control how what type of abuse you will take IE: being made fun of and given silent treatment

LMFAO
BY the time you know it you are walking on egg shells around INTPs they are pulling your strings making you jump through hoops never telling you how they feel giving you smoke and mirrors while you are giving and giving.

run. dude. just RUN.

oh and bro the whole
"she is till talking to you" comment made above..........
CHRIST.

can you not see how narcissistic that comment is and where it is coming from?
as IF the INTP is so holy and god like that is it an HONOR FROM the heavens above that the INTP would actually TALK TO YOU.
omg........no dude seriously INTPs really do think that.
cause of course INTPs blow off everyone else and rarely care about people in general so if they give you CRUMBS you should be honored with the INTP holy scraps sent from heaven.

OK sorry for the rant. And to the INTPS....if you are as full of truth as you claim to be....you wont be offended by my comments.

 

The crusader returns! Defending all the innocent INFJs from the diabolical, secretly controlling and narcissistic INTPs!

 

LOL !!

all fun aside, tell me in truth that I am not on point?

 

The truth you asked for is coming so gird your loins.

Yes because every INTP is the same. You continuously lump individuals into a single box and actually appear to believe that MBTI is all there is when the truth is there are so many other things to consider. For a supposed INFJ you seem to have a one track mind but that’s okay because I understand that you’re our last true beacon of hope.

You will never know everything about anyone.

There’s that fag talk again. #idiocracy

“How did they teach you to be, just a happy puppet dancing on a string?”

I can see why you have relationship issues. It’s your poor attitude. Any “type” can be a fucked up mess, including you. I would run away from you.

That can be said for most introverted people. If someone likes you, they will make time for you.

More of your nonsense. ID is far from narcissistic. In fact he’s incredibly loving, warm and very kind. And before you make more nonsensical assumptions you should know that I am well aware of what narcissistic abuse is. I won’t go into detail though because like INTPs I don’t want you to know. I want to tell you sweet little lies about how grand you are. That without your stellar wisdom our lives are hopeless. “There is no me without you.”

You sound like an infant. I think it’s time you were fed, had your diaper changed and put to bed.

 

INTPs need to burn in hell

 

Highlighter needs to stfu.

 

No. You are not on point.

Just a bunch of blabbered generalizations on INTPs as a whole. You sure you're an INFJ? You do seem very judgmental and quite critical of INTPs due to your negative biased perspective. I would retake the MBTI if I were you.

 

The crusader is never wrong! He Just Knows® that all INTPs are scheming sociopaths whose sole aim in life is to hunt down INFJs and make their lives as miserable as possible! He hatesss them Precious!!!!

 

Thanks. I’m blind now.

 

Looks like I touched a nerve....

All I have to say is this is an INFJ forum, and when I speak about NTs INTPs specifically my objective is to help INFJs see something that I did not see.
You see in this type of relationship, its very easy for the INFJ to think they are in on the joke....in on the conversation...that they are speaking to another intuitive who understands them and they are communicating on an intuitive level. Only that's not really whats happening.

I care about INFJs period....other types I don't care one way or another they all got problems and whatever.
I have been called a "crusader" ......fair enough.

But note that I am not on INTPS.COM nor INTJS.com in this "crusade"
nope I am here on an INFJ site speaking form personal experience and a few years of studying narcissistic personality disorder.
I see a direct link between the 2.

 

You do realize there are no guarantees in any relationship, right? INFJs hurt people too.

You sound about as logical as a phony psychic.

 

@highlighter ever notice that no one “likes” any of your posts?

 

LOL. I just made a giggle-snort hehehe

 

Unsurprisingly, you're giving yourself a bit too much credit here.

Also, saying things like this is indicative of attempting to manipulate the tone of the argument in your favor when you have absolutely nothing of substance to add. It's a common tactic, and you are far from the first to try it. Again, unsurprising.

You don't run this site. You don't get to decide who posts here or what opinions they get to express.

If you "care about INFJs period," start your own forum and ban anyone who expresses those dastardly INTP-like tendencies. I'm sure it would be a rousing success.

You're the only person posting here who sees this link. What does that say about you? Are you such an intuitive genius that you alone can see the grievous risks that INTP/Js pose to the INFJ community?

I haven't seen you post proof of anything aside from your personal experiences. Your experiences do not define the expansive reality of human existence. They are one tiny set of data points in a massive realm of variables.

 

Ok......... so lets check the score card.

So I posted with my thoughts on the topic of an INFJ male in a relationship with an INTP female.
I am on topic. with the intention of assisting the author of the thread.

IN response to my post on the topic....
I receive Insults and name calling being told no one likes me................IN contrast I have not insulted any specific member here, I have only spoke on TYPE period.

and somehow....I am the villain in this story?
and let me guess I am the bully?

Lets shift gears shall we.
Jenny
Phantom

please tell the author of thread your thoughts on the paring in question and give him the pros and cons.
kind regards.

 

Yeah? Hmmm... :thinkinghard:

Once again, you contradict yourself and prove to be full of shit. You're obsessed. It's weird, unhealthy and I do not get it. Furthermore, NO ONE on this forum full of INFJ empaths gets it. Examine yourself and your priorities and understand how you sound to other people.