INFJ Male/INFJ Female | INFJ Forum

INFJ Male/INFJ Female

jdftx

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Nov 16, 2009
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Hey everyone, any experience with this? Could it work long term?
 
We just discussed this in another thread:

I like Pure/Calm Guys/ Innocent Romance
 
There are a good amount of threads about this. I'm sure you'll find plenty of info in them.
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I think it could work long term, but it needs some effort on both sides:) this combination can be really magical experience.
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The answer to your question is yes and no.
 
Could def work out very well if you both are honest and make an effort to not shut each other out TOO much. I went with an INFJ girl for a bit and it was awesome. We meshed well on so many levels. We talked one night from 7PM to 5AM in the morning. Just talking.
 
It depends on whether you contrast enough. Sometimes with another person of the same type it can feel like you are trying to high five each other but keep missing. You might be of the same type but it doesn't mean you will certainly be able to relate to each other. I was interested in a guy who I later found out was also INFJ and personally for me there was enough of a contrast to keep me stimulated yet we did contrast in areas we needed to have similarities in.
But I believe any union can work if both sides want it to.
 
I think this combo could be heavenly, or the most dull relationship ever,.. depending on what you're looking foor when you start the relationship.
After lifes stormy tempests and being tossed about on boiling oceans, if ye get my drift,.. then, a person who shares your temprament, and values, with few incongruencies or areas of opposition, can feel like a beautifully safe and warm port in the storm.
If ye have'nt been thrown around enough yet on tempestuous and frankly scarey ole massive waves, then maybe it would bore you.
I know where I'm at.. an INFJ port in the storm would be delicious. In my humble opinion,
G. x
 
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I think this combo could be heavenly, or the most dull relationship ever,.. depending on what you're looking foor when you start the relationship.
After lifes stormy tempests and being tossed about on boiling oceans, if ye get my drift,.. then, a person who shares your temprament, and values, with few incongruencies or areas of opposition, can feel like a beautifully safe and warm port in the storm.
If ye have'nt been thrown around enough yet on tempestuous and frankly scarey ole massive waves, then maybe it would bore you.
I know where I'm at.. an INFJ port in the storm would be delicious. In my humble opinion,
G. x

Yeah, I dated around a while in life before I found my INFJ, and it was exactly as you described. I know I wouldn't have been ready for that relationship otherwise.

I would like to point out that it was both things you described, amazing and at times boring. Comfortably boring.

She's gone now, but I wouldn't have traded it for the world, and highly suggest it to any INFJs. If I ever fall in love again, it's very likely going to be another INFJ.
 
After lifes stormy tempests and being tossed about on boiling oceans, if ye get my drift,.. then, a person who shares your temprament, and values, with few incongruencies or areas of opposition, can feel like a beautifully safe and warm port in the storm.
If ye have'nt been thrown around enough yet on tempestuous and frankly scarey ole massive waves, then maybe it would bore you.
I know where I'm at.. an INFJ port in the storm would be delicious.

Not many better ways to put it.

This article seems to back that up as well.
 
what are good matches for infjs newho?
 
what are good matches for infjs newho?

There is a theory that says ENTPs are a good match for INFJs, but from what I have seen it's a good match for the ENTP but not so much for the INFJ. I only know of one INFJ / ENTP couple, and they have a host of problems from the personality clash. However, they claim they are very happy despite this.

In my estimation and experience, INFJs do best with other INFJs, ENFJs, INTJs, ISTPs, and possibly ENTJs.

INFJs and INFPs are very hit or miss. Sometimes they are great. Sometimes they are terrible. Sometimes both, and never anything in between.
 
There is a theory that says ENTPs are a good match for INFJs, but from what I have seen it's a good match for the ENTP but not so much for the INFJ. I only know of one INFJ / ENTP couple, and they have a host of problems from the personality clash. However, they claim they are very happy despite this.

In my estimation and experience, INFJs do best with other INFJs, ENFJs, INTJs, ISTPs, and possibly ENTJs.

INFJs and INFPs are very hit or miss. Sometimes they are great. Sometimes they are terrible. Sometimes both, and never anything in between.

Thanks Von Hase, i'll keep that in mind:p
 
Yes, it could work, but I'd rather have some differences. I'd rather have an ENFP , its the "NF" I'd want to team up with , but the differences I'd want would be for her to be more vocal than I am, but not as judgmental as I am.

I can't speak for other INFJ's but I really enjoy ENFP's. They are different but still have the "visionary" within them. I can see myself being married to an ENFP and making it work.
 
Yes, it could work, but I'd rather have some differences. I'd rather have an ENFP , its the "NF" I'd want to team up with , but the differences I'd want would be for her to be more vocal than I am, but not as judgmental as I am.

I can't speak for other INFJ's but I really enjoy ENFP's. They are different but still have the "visionary" within them. I can see myself being married to an ENFP and making it work.

I'm dating an ENFP. She's making me insane. The mutual attraction between us is amazing, but she's so utterly inconsistent, fickle, and impulsive that I don't think it will work. If she wasn't so damned charming and idealistic, there is no way I could consider being with someone so inconsiderate and self involved.

For example, she shows up at a party that I invited her to with another guy she is dating (that I didn't know about), then flirts all over the place with yet another guy who she is dating (that I also didn't know about). When I (very politely) leave, she gets mad at me for having the audacity to be upset about it.

Another example, last night we spend the whole evening hanging out, end up talking and cuddling, at which point she tells me she loves me. After this, I spent 20 minutes scraping the ice off of her car, and even put a little heart shape in the ice on the hood. This morning she posts as her facebook status that she loves some other guy that she is also dating.

Edit: Meanwhile, her sister is an INFJ, and we get along like two peas in a pod.
 
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That's what I'm saying vh I don't think I could deal with that kind of energy. I prob would have started a fight if she told me she loved me then flirted with another dude in my face.
 
That's what I'm saying vh I don't think I could deal with that kind of energy. I prob would have started a fight if she told me she loved me then flirted with another dude in my face.

That's not my style. I put her on time out. It makes her nuts. I think she wants the satisfaction of a fight so she can turn people into villains for 'being mean to her'.

I just had my INTJ who is married to an ENFP explain to me that when they do this you have to explain to them that they hurt you, not that they were 'wrong'. I have to admit that this was pretty much the way things went. She fought back when I told her I didn't like what she was doing until I explained that it hurt my feelings, and then I got cuddled. It seems like patronizing them, but maybe it's as simple as speaking their language.

I'm still undecided about whether or not it is worth pursuing this, and really would prefer a good old INFJ who understands me.