INFJ & ISTP are they compatible? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

INFJ & ISTP are they compatible?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Sheena, Feb 4, 2012.

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  1. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    Anything. Get to know him like you would to other people; his interest and what not, but definitely see how he treated those that he isn't interested with.
     
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  2. OP
    Sheena

    Sheena Regular Poster

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    As in his ex-girlfriends?
     
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  3. Gaze

    Gaze My word . . . hmm
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    It sounds like what everyone is trying to say is, don't just get to know him as he is but understand whether how he is may affect how you feel later on. Because some qualities which may seem or feel comfortable and not an issue today, may become an issue later on when you've been together for a while. But each person is different, so the more you learn about them earlier, the better sense you will have of whether they will be great fit in the long term. Sometimes, what's fun and exciting today, may later become very uninteresting and difficult to handle later on.
     
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  4. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    Nope. :)
    Issues he aren't interested with. The color of your clothes; the style of Justin Bieber's hair; the War on Iraq, Jersey Shore, Michelle Obama, what wine goes with Veal Schnitzel...anything.
     
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  5. OP
    Sheena

    Sheena Regular Poster

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    i see what everyone means by shallow.
     
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  6. charlene

    charlene never mind no matter nevermind

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    Hey Sheena,
    Ive never dated an ISTP but I get along extremely well with my 4 ISTP friends. I live with an ISTP too- my INFP sister's partner.
    I feel very comfortable around ISTPs. They are lots of fun, up for trying new things, willing to go on adventures and explore new places. All the ISTPs I know are pretty healthy, fit and active. Although they are spontaneous by nature and don't like planning things they seem to get a lot done. They like to be efficient with their time and energy when they want to get something done. Because they want to be lazy and have a lot of free time they will ensure that they complete tasks promptly and can be quite creative in how they achieve this. Also, they are not afraid of hard work- so theres a bit of a contradiction here.

    I find ISTPs very easy to talk to.The ones I know don't crap on for no reason, don't bitch, dont whinge, and are happy to share a comfortable silence as well.
    Over the time Ive known my friends I have been able to have deeper and deeper conversations with them. One of my ISTP friends and I always talk for hours one end about politics, philosphy and world issues.

    I dont think they are shallow- I think they see things for how they are, the physical reality, at any given moment. They are more concerned about the here and now then what might be. I love debating with them because they can be very impartial and logical, which is useful to me because it can give me perspective as I can be a sappy bleeding heart about most things. I like that with ISTPs we can talk, have fun, do activities together and then we're both happy to have some space and time apart.

    The ISTPs I know are not very emotional. They certainly have a lot of emotions and I think they can feel things very deeply but they try not to be ruled by emotions and can see them as a negative thing. They seem much more comfrotable showing postive emotions than negative- which I can relate to as well.
    I quite like this aspect about them because I find dealing very emotional people can be draining for me. Its a lot easier to get stuff done when people are willing to be logical and rational.

    I dont think that ISTP's feel a lot of empathy. Sometimes its almost like they understand why someone might be feeling a certain way but they just dont care or see how it should be their problem. I find that the ISTPs I know care deeply for their loved ones and friends but are pretty ambivalent and non-caring towards people they dont know. They are very protective of their loved ones and can act a bit 'clannish' sometimes
    I dont see them as heartless though, if you can explain to them logically why something should matter, they will normally get it and even work at solving the problem.

    I like how ISTP care more about whats true than being right. They dont mind being proven wrong if you can provide them with sufficient logic. And they will change their behaviour once they undertand the new information.
    Also, they dont care about someone's title or authority- they will accept information from anyone if it makes sense to them. They dont care about certain rules and laws if they dont make sense to them either. One of my ISTP friends bugs me a little because he literally thinks that laws dont apply to him at all.

    The worst thing Ive noticed about ISTPs is how they can act when they are really emotional. Its like they totally lose it and just can stop themselves once they start. There can be tears, rage, tantrums, smashing things- its pretty dramatic and sometimes childish and immature. From experience I think the best thing to do when this happens is to ignore them and give them space. Wait for the outburst to subside before attempting to communicate with them. I know that they really hate getting into these states because it makes them feel like they're not in control and powerless. They can say really nasty things that they dont mean when they're in this state. If you care about an ISTP, never push them into a corner and dont hold the crazy shit they say when they're having an emotional fit against them later.

    ISTPs can be really mean and cruel to the ones they are closest to- namely their partners and best friends. I dont really undertand this too well, but it seems that sometimes they try to provoke their loved ones and test them, to make their loved ones prove that they care about the ISTP. This is really annoying and immature and I think it comes from a place of the ISTP not believing that people care about them even if them may have no reason to think so. It could be that have lack self esteem, confidence, or faith in themselves. Or maybe they just need a lot of postive affirmation - I dont know. This wierd behaviour is paradoxial to their normally logical and rational behaviour.

    Ive observed that ISTPs can be extremely affectionate and cuddly. They can be very generous as well, expressing their love and gratitude with deeds and gifts rather than words. I have been told by my sister and one of my close friends that is with an ISTP that they are great lovers as well.
     
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  7. dwr46y

    dwr46y Well-known weirdo

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    This sounds like an advertisement for ISTPs
     
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  8. charlene

    charlene never mind no matter nevermind

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    I do recommend them but I can't sell you one because of limited stock.
     
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  9. OP
    Sheena

    Sheena Regular Poster

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  10. Lex Orandi

    Lex Orandi Regular Poster

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    This x 100,000.
     
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  11. Lilithnox

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    I'm an infj and I am married to an istp. In my experience, everything you said here is bang on ! It's not always an easy relationship, you may find yourself doing most of the "work" emotionally. But if you do manage to connect on a deeper level , it's an incredible bond :)
     
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  12. bossman80

    bossman80 Newbie

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    My mother is an ISTP and father IxFJ. It is an interesting marriage to say the least, but they have worked out well.
     
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  13. SarahBS

    SarahBS Permanent Fixture

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    My fave type. Just cannot get into a relationship with! or anything serious anyway!
    But that's my idea ^_^
     
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  14. SarahBS

    SarahBS Permanent Fixture

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    This is a random post from 4 years ago???? Why am i seeing this????
     
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  15. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

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    Don't know, but **A LOT**of posts in the top of my feed are from years ago.
     
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  16. istpshin

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    Wow.. I know this is from 5 years ago, but this is the most spot-on description I have ever read about ISTP's, at least from my own perspective. It was strange feeling all of these different emotions from being so understood. I especially laughed out loud from that 'being efficient to be lazy' bit. Everything was spot on. I also just wanted to add my own personal perspective about empathy.

    I used to feel empathy very strongly when I was younger. I don't like to admit it, but I even cried when I heard about a mass shooting in another state when I imagined myself in the shoes of those affected. It felt very irrational and weak. I would subconsciously ask myself: what was the benefit of feeling these strong emotions when they have absolutely nothing to do with me? People around the world are suffering everyday.. I buried this empathy deep down because it was embarrassing and I also hate feeling vulnerable. I eventually became somewhat calloused about these types of issues. I think a lot of ISTP's might be similar, or why else would these uncontrollable emotional outbursts occur on rare occasions?
     
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  17. highlighter

    highlighter Regular Poster

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    INFJs dont communicate with S types very well at all. I cant see how this is a good match. the communication is just too different and different is not good in this case. I E...TF...JP thats all fine and good for opposites attract but S V N is a holy war not being on the same level.

    If you think the communication is good with you both now truly ask yourself if this is not YOU being a harmony person?
    go abstract on the guy, talk about some crazy stuff see if he can take it there. and you will find the mismatch.

    You core is your Ni.
    S types either cant or wont really value this.
    I would never steer an INFJ toward an S type.
     
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  18. BritNi

    BritNi Perceptive Optimist

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    I've been with an ISTP for 2 years now... you really hit the nail on this one... couldn't be more accurate.
     
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  19. Asha

    Asha One

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  20. BritNi

    BritNi Perceptive Optimist

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    After becoming more familiar with MBTI, I realize they were ESTPs (my exes)

    Horrible matches.

    Never again.
     
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    #40 BritNi, Sep 6, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2019
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