INFJ & ISTP are they compatible? | INFJ Forum

INFJ & ISTP are they compatible?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Sheena, Feb 4, 2012.

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  1. Sheena

    Sheena Regular Poster

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    I am currently seeing an ISTP guy and I am an INFJ. Just wondering if anyone has some experience with this match or if anyone would know how these two would be together? :)
     
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  2. anarkandi

    anarkandi Community Member

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    You'll propably be the one controlling in the relationship, the one who makes the calls, and who has the right answers, while he will be your slave dog, able to do your bidding. You might find him boring at times. He wont stimulate you intellectually. He's good in bed though.
     
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  3. OP
    Sheena

    Sheena Regular Poster

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    Well I was studying his personality type and from what I understood he doesn't like to sit around and be boring, but that he likes to do lots of activities and doing risky things.

    Our sexual attraction to each other is amazing.
     
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  4. the

    the Si master race.
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    You will eventually resent yourself for liking someone so shallow and fun.
     
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  5. OP
    Sheena

    Sheena Regular Poster

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    I don't understand
     
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  6. the

    the Si master race.
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    You will.
     
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  7. OP
    Sheena

    Sheena Regular Poster

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    He's not shallow. and whats wrong with being fun?
     
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  8. Kmal

    Kmal Well-known member

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    [MENTION=731]uberrogo[/MENTION] is making a joke. xstps get along famously with xnfjs, probably better than anyone else. it always feels so natural around xstps for me.
     
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  9. OP
    Sheena

    Sheena Regular Poster

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    Well that's good to hear. I feel we have a good connection.
     
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  10. bionic

    bionic sexy coconut
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    My mom is an INFJ and my dad was an ISTP... they had a relationship for 7+ years before I was born. I'd say they were very compatible. My dad brought out this really fun, loving side of my mom and still allowed her to have her own space and time. She brought out a very empathetic and sensitive side in my dad.
     
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  11. anarkandi

    anarkandi Community Member

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    I was a bit trolley too, I have an ISTP mom and a friend, and I like them both, and have for quite a while. And ISTPs are shallow, I just don't really mind if they are.
     
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  12. OP
    Sheena

    Sheena Regular Poster

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    What do you guys mean by shallow? give me an example because I don't find he is shallow at all. But I also don't know him very well.
     
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  13. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    In a perfect MBTI world, I echo the shallow part.

    The thing would be, as long as you kept your subject alongside a) his subject, b) his direction, and c) his interests; you'll be fine.
    For example, my ISTP brother LOVES Korean pop, and Korean (Asian) movies, and as long as I keep the debates rotating around it, I'm fine.

    However, the rest.... the simpler word is shallow.
    To be more intricate; he has less interest in general, less willing to go in depth, less willing to argue over 'what's commonly proven' or 'what works' (as it is with other ST types), and not willing to be bothered in general. "Meh, what a drag. This works, right? Why so complicated?"

    Also, when regarding things he doesn't interested in, so far I see that ISTPs tend to take the path of least resistance. Not the path that needed to be taken. Their Se makes planning for the future almost nonexistent except for the sudden acute moments of it, in which they can't be stopped-- no matter how it may disturbs you or everyone else, because IT IS IMPORTANT. Sometimes that resulted in laziness. Sometimes that resulted in a devil-may-care, "eeh whatever, as long as it gets done, I'm fine.", sometimes that resulted in a sudden outbursts of "THIS NEEDS TO BE DONE DAMMIT WHY CANNOT YOU SEE".

    In short; cannot be bothered.

    There are definitely traces of it in INFJ (or at least, my own) personality type, which can make it worse via projection; it can make it look as if the ISTP in question is being particularly bad / uncaring, when it's actually their own personality.

    Also, very very low emotional depth. Fe inferior = a certain resistance towards 'stronger' social connection, which....is alright if that's what you're seeking.

    Again, this is my experience. Caveat emptor.

    If you want to know what do you mean by shallow... How long have you two been going out?
    When it's past the time of 'showing your best', ask him about things other than what he's interested with. You don't have to go for specifics.
     
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  14. OP
    Sheena

    Sheena Regular Poster

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    We've been dating for a month and a half now. Only seeing eachother a couple times a week. He seems great so far. But theres still a lot I don't know about him.
     
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  15. Feelings

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    You mean you didn't stalk him all over the internet, and ask all his friends about him, and go through his computer while he's in the bathroom, like a normal person would?
     
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  16. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    Too short, yes.
    Keep going, have fun; but open your eyes. Aim until 3 months or a year or more before you can -really- understand (hint; he'll stop presenting to you his best form)
    Talk in depth with him, understand him; see if he's compatible with you, or if he's not irritating you in any way.
     
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  17. Next

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    True say. Nothing.
     
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    That is weird
     
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  19. OP
    Sheena

    Sheena Regular Poster

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    I would never do something so ridiculous. I have no reason to snoop. I've known him since high school. We dated once but were really young.
     
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  20. OP
    Sheena

    Sheena Regular Poster

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    Well he's not irritating me yet
    Is there anythig in particular I should be talking to him about? or just leave it like it is and see where it goes? ("talk in dept with him")
     
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