Hey. I am new to this forum.I am an Asian so sorry for any mistake due to grammar and spelling. I am a typical ISFJ, just knew about 2 weeks ago. And I realized she is definitely an INFJ. I am not sure INFJ or INTJ but I am 99% sure she is an INFJ. From my stand point, she is very very attractive, even prettier than my first lover and the most gorgeous girl. The only imperfect things may be the eyes and eyebrow but that is fine. However, my relationship is long-term relationship and from the beginning I know that she will be out of my reach because she is a lot more attractive than me and I would lose her quickly if risks come. I met her after a long fatal break up with my first girl (more than 12 month from that time) who dumped me because of her deceiving actions and that relationship cost me like a knife killing my naive mental and physical strength. The unique girl I met this time has some INFJ character and let me decribe her. She is very intelligent (somehow get 1st rank/highest GPA in my university class but has no glasses/short-sighted) and I soon feel that she is a talent/misterious girl and the most unique girl I have met. She went to national gifted high school before (Physics as major class)- only for best students. She has long black hair, look nice/decent, has parents working in education sector(teacher/lecture). She often has close friends, becomes friendly with them but she only talks to them and somehow aggressively expresses her coldness for strangers. Because she is a hard-working student, I know she will leave me soon to study overseas when she dropped some classes. Finally, before she flew, I decided to start a relationship with her even I knew I would only have like 10% to win because we have met directly only once in the relationship. At first, she find me attractive and quickly become friend. I made a huge mistake by insisting on sending her a nice gift before she left. She suspected me and denied that offer but that is fine because she said she did not want that gift for doing nothing for me. She still came to see me on class on the last Monday because she flew on Thursday (I chatted I would never see her again before on the last Sunday and she did an amazing move without informing me). Sadly, I did not know that this was the last time I could be friend with her and see her face to face. I could not say anything in that day because I was too shy in front of her and her friends. Then at home, I sent a message to say sorry for did not say farewell to her but she said OK. After that, she flew to Finland more than 7000km away from me to begin a 3 year course. The first month, i still can chat with her and I miss her like crazy and she told me she was very busy to deal with intensive course and she had to move out frequently. It was really hard for me to figure out what she was thinking and how she value other people. Somehow I invaded her private mind by asking question about her parents ( i do not know this before, she did not tell anything so how can I know?) but i think it may not be the major culprit of the fall of our relationship. Then she also stated that she miss her home/parents, her family and friends. However, due to busy she cannot keep in touch with me every week and I gradually lost her contact after 6 months. She tell that she was busy so it is not my fault that we cannot keep in touch. But then, I did not know that she was dumping me without a reason. This time I looked terrible because I call her several time during a few weeks later but nothing responses. My health declined sharply due to this and after some months I cannot do anything to improve the situation, she remained silent from that time until now. I was tortured and cannot sleep well at night because I think that was my fault for almost 17 months then although I still love her. One day just 2 week ago, when she had summer break and went home, I called her but she answered like a stranger and shortly shut down the call even after just 4 sentences just before I can tell her anything (I call her just to find the reason only and then I will leave the relationship). I decided to end the relationship and finally found out she is a INFJ, I am ISFJ and it is not totally my fault. But may be she did not know how to leave me in peace without hurt me or feel I am clingy or bored???? Now I feel like an empty man and do not know what to do. I do fall in a mixed emotional world, and feel lonely. I sometime think of another girl I have interest and I dream like flirting with her but just like to heal my wound or forget my confidant?....I do not know that after 4-5 years from now, if she met another guy and eventually become mature and will she have better view about me or she will never comeback to me? But now I will remain silent for at least 3-4 years and will only back to her if I cannot find another girl. Next 2 weeks, she will fly to study again but I do want to call anything. I feel that I was too nice and it is hard to become optimistic to move on and find really faithful girls. ..Can you give some opinion to me or give the answer to her confidential dump? Have you ever experience this before? I appreciate if you can tell your true story. Can I have a day which she will change her mind feel sympathy for me/ become more mature or she will disclose everything that keep in the dark???
Unfortunately, I am likely to always choose a girl that will dump me than I dump her...yeah
Unfortunately, I am likely to always choose a girl that will dump me than I dump her...yeah
