INFJ depression
- Thread starter ladybug
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Read lots of threads. What you will quickly realise is that as INFJ's we have all got pretty similar foibles and quirks. 
For some reason, just knowing that you are not weird, but just rare (1%) of population, is somehow comforting.
This helps you have a sense of humour and enjoyment about who you are and the way you react to situations/people -
loneliness and depression are very INFJ traits.
For some reason, just knowing that you are not weird, but just rare (1%) of population, is somehow comforting.
This helps you have a sense of humour and enjoyment about who you are and the way you react to situations/people -
loneliness and depression are very INFJ traits.
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I do suffer from depression, and I do think that we are more prone to it because of our personalities.
How can you get over it? That depends on your situation. If you want, send me a PM telling me why you think you feel this way, and I'll give you my best advice on what to do.
firehotemily
Community Member
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yeah i think that INFJ's are more prone to depression
I think it's because we internalize mostly everything, emotions, thoughts, ideas, words...everything
and the fact is, keeping your emotions inside of yourself that whole time or holding them inside and dwelling on them is bad.
Don't dwell on emotions.
But as Dragon said...how to fix the depression all depends on what the situation is.
pm about this if you want ^^
hope you feel better
I think it's because we internalize mostly everything, emotions, thoughts, ideas, words...everything
and the fact is, keeping your emotions inside of yourself that whole time or holding them inside and dwelling on them is bad.
Don't dwell on emotions.
But as Dragon said...how to fix the depression all depends on what the situation is.
pm about this if you want ^^
hope you feel better
meander
Newbie
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For me depression is about the question if one does fit in. I am people oriented, and I am easily depressed when I see that I don't fit in. This "fiting in" varies on day-to-day-basis, depending much too much on my moody moods.
In general I sort of "envy" action-oriented and upbeat people. This permanent internalization is really hard to live with, for me, I really would like to "get out for fresh air" from time to time. I often am a loner, but just because of fear of rejection.
It is hard to do, but I know I have to accept that I am different than most people; and it is difficult to focus on positive things when you think only bad things happen.
And in the end, your life has to have a meaning to yourself in the first place. It seems a paradox, but when you find meaning in your life, you can show it to others and maybe they see that too and hence you will feel more accepted. It's just exhausting process, I often have the feeling I have to start over day after day.
In general I sort of "envy" action-oriented and upbeat people. This permanent internalization is really hard to live with, for me, I really would like to "get out for fresh air" from time to time. I often am a loner, but just because of fear of rejection.
It is hard to do, but I know I have to accept that I am different than most people; and it is difficult to focus on positive things when you think only bad things happen.
And in the end, your life has to have a meaning to yourself in the first place. It seems a paradox, but when you find meaning in your life, you can show it to others and maybe they see that too and hence you will feel more accepted. It's just exhausting process, I often have the feeling I have to start over day after day.
just me
Well-known member
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There is a whole thread on depression in Health, I think, going on.
Your answers are:
yes
sometimes...let someone else handle the "why"
you will not end up alone
your life will mean lots to lots of people
life is not pointless
it depends
What a first post. Listen to some music and cheer up! Now you have us to talk to.
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I tend to realize that I am bummed and I try to think myself into being happy. Usually I try to do an activity that takes my mind off of everything... Playing guitar usually works for me...
rainrise
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This is a question i frequently ponder upon also. I think there's a lot of truth as mentioned earlier that we tend to internalize or introvert emotions, thoughts, ideas, etc. which leads to attaching subjective meanings to the external realm and dwelling upon them (perhaps to gain insight?). When we do this, we may personalize even that or those which aren't readily relevant for us and sometimes fall into the state of negativity if it happens that they become symbols intrinsically connected to our own well-being rather than what they are objectively (in the broadest sense). I know from personal experience that i become stuck in a rut with recurring mental conversations, so much so i become oblivious to my surroundings at times. During these unhealthy times, it's not hard to blow a seemingly mild impediment out of proportion. I think there's a thread here for how developing Se could benefit the INFJ. I've found it helpful when shifting my focus from my thoughts to what is immediately around me through my senses, whether it be focusing on external sounds or observing the qualities of something as it is.
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There's another thread which hit on depression. Pages 3 and 4 specificly.
Flamethrower
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Interesting - I've noticed something similar to this before too. INTJs must be a bit similar too.
Solar Empath
Community Member
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Depression? Yep. Suicidal levels?
Yep.
Not for a while though.
Learning to like myself and accept that I am different helped a lot with this.
Discovering that I pretty much absorb every emotion in a 100 mile radius, and that I need to not let that fact dictate my emotional situation helped a lot.
The discovery that when I get upset I start a chain litany in my head of everything that I find negative in the world, and learning to not let that litany run my life helped a lot.
And as of this week, learning that I am INFJ and that I am not alone in the way I experience the world .. feels incredible!
In short ... you are awesome! If the above resonates with you at all, then don't let who you are hurt you any more. Empathy is a tough cross to bear, but I don't want to put it down.
Yep.
Not for a while though.
Learning to like myself and accept that I am different helped a lot with this.
Discovering that I pretty much absorb every emotion in a 100 mile radius, and that I need to not let that fact dictate my emotional situation helped a lot.
The discovery that when I get upset I start a chain litany in my head of everything that I find negative in the world, and learning to not let that litany run my life helped a lot.
And as of this week, learning that I am INFJ and that I am not alone in the way I experience the world .. feels incredible!
In short ... you are awesome! If the above resonates with you at all, then don't let who you are hurt you any more. Empathy is a tough cross to bear, but I don't want to put it down.
Leif
Newbie
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- INFJ
So I see I'm not the only one who suffers from this from time to time. Yeah, I occasionally get depressed, though thankfully (or perhaps not) it only seems to occur once every so often and in an extreme, sobbing, "I'm completely worthless" manner.
After a good night's rest, I usually wake up and think the whole affair was rather silly and unnecessary. It's very bizarre to me.
After a good night's rest, I usually wake up and think the whole affair was rather silly and unnecessary. It's very bizarre to me.
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yes, it is, and I have gone through it(and still think I am in it)...I think it's because we tend to internalize our thoughts and emotions a lot, personally I tend to get depress easely...Maybe it's because sometimes I just feel like life is not worthed, that I hate being misunderstood..sometimes feelings of unappreciation really affect me, criticism and conflict also. the fact that I live a complete solitary life outside the internet does not help, as I think INFJ's enjoy time by themselves introspecting and imaginating, but there's a point where you reach your limit, you feel alone, lonely, unworthy, and misunderstood and that's when it hits you,, me at least. I also suffer from low self-confidence which also aids to this whole depression of mine, suicidal level? once in a while, but I usually get back to my senses after that day and move on..I just try to keep some sort of optimism that the next day will be better and things would change..
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laurie
Snowblind in Dreamland
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When I was depressed through my GCSEs (great timing) I tried to write alot to keep my mind off it, plus writing/painting/drawing are all great ways of releasing emotion (and with depression you get plenty of that).
Unfortunately, I was also subject to common periods of crying for hours etc. but I eventually just got over myself because I was so sick of feeling bad (turns out, I accidentally used cognitive behavioural therapy on myself - who knew?).
Counseling didn't help me, but that was just because my counselor was... well, awful. She tried to get n image of me in her head and ended up with the stereotypical antisocial bookworm who was socially inept, when in fact I was just shy and had low self-esteem.
Counseling has helped my INTJ sister a lot with her stress though, so it does work for people
(she's using private counseling though, not the NHS one that I had).
I guess it's just trying to gain a different perspective on things and doing what you want to do that makes you feel a bit better. It requires confidence of course =.= and that is a hard thing to get.
Unfortunately, I was also subject to common periods of crying for hours etc. but I eventually just got over myself because I was so sick of feeling bad (turns out, I accidentally used cognitive behavioural therapy on myself - who knew?).
Counseling didn't help me, but that was just because my counselor was... well, awful. She tried to get n image of me in her head and ended up with the stereotypical antisocial bookworm who was socially inept, when in fact I was just shy and had low self-esteem.
Counseling has helped my INTJ sister a lot with her stress though, so it does work for people
(she's using private counseling though, not the NHS one that I had).I guess it's just trying to gain a different perspective on things and doing what you want to do that makes you feel a bit better. It requires confidence of course =.= and that is a hard thing to get.
Gaze
Donor
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Well said.
Alkali Regnant
Regular Poster
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I'd say yes. We tend to let our emotions build up inside and don't have a clear way to let them go which can cause stress and lead to depression easily.
I myself just lock myself in my room for a while and don't talk to anyone for extended periods of time while I try to work out what I'm feeling (which ultimately fails each time). I have thought of suicide a few times before but only as a passing thought. After seeing and experiencing what my family went through with the loss of my brother (not to suicide, though he did try before), I wouldn't want to put them through that (worrying about how others feel more than myself... typical lol). I mostly keep all those depressing thoughts inside and the only way that some of my good friends notice I'm having an "off" day is if I just ignore/avoid them. Other friends who don't understand that tend to make it worse for me by continuously trying to get me to talk which ends up getting me more annoyed at the world. Of course I don't tell them I want to be alone because I think saying that might hurt their feelings or something -.- useless thoughts but it's one thing I can't get over.
Blaming the rest of the world for your problems is actually what leads to depression, not blaming yourself. Kinda odd to think about it but it's true!
I myself just lock myself in my room for a while and don't talk to anyone for extended periods of time while I try to work out what I'm feeling (which ultimately fails each time). I have thought of suicide a few times before but only as a passing thought. After seeing and experiencing what my family went through with the loss of my brother (not to suicide, though he did try before), I wouldn't want to put them through that (worrying about how others feel more than myself... typical lol). I mostly keep all those depressing thoughts inside and the only way that some of my good friends notice I'm having an "off" day is if I just ignore/avoid them. Other friends who don't understand that tend to make it worse for me by continuously trying to get me to talk which ends up getting me more annoyed at the world. Of course I don't tell them I want to be alone because I think saying that might hurt their feelings or something -.- useless thoughts but it's one thing I can't get over.
Blaming the rest of the world for your problems is actually what leads to depression, not blaming yourself. Kinda odd to think about it but it's true!
Appoggiatura
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Yep.
I did have some form of chronic depression and became suicidal a couple of times. It got progressively worse in high school because I felt disconnected at school and stressed from my mom's pressure to fulfill her dreams. I didn't have stand-alone episodes because my entire outlook on life was colored and dictated by negativity. I blamed other people, and then I blamed myself a lot for not living up to my parents' standards...which became my standards. That whole bunch of pointless self-pitying made my general self-esteem plummet even more.
I didn't take any meds. I didn't seek any therapy. I didn't "find" myself in religion or forms of faith. I picked up myself because I saw that I was in a deep, deep rut..And that I did not like it. I just started banking everything on the future..."Everything will be better once I graduate and get out of here"..."Everything will better after this". I had hope, even though I didn't know hope in what exactly. Hope helps, for sure.
I did have some form of chronic depression and became suicidal a couple of times. It got progressively worse in high school because I felt disconnected at school and stressed from my mom's pressure to fulfill her dreams. I didn't have stand-alone episodes because my entire outlook on life was colored and dictated by negativity. I blamed other people, and then I blamed myself a lot for not living up to my parents' standards...which became my standards. That whole bunch of pointless self-pitying made my general self-esteem plummet even more.
I didn't take any meds. I didn't seek any therapy. I didn't "find" myself in religion or forms of faith. I picked up myself because I saw that I was in a deep, deep rut..And that I did not like it. I just started banking everything on the future..."Everything will be better once I graduate and get out of here"..."Everything will better after this". I had hope, even though I didn't know hope in what exactly. Hope helps, for sure.