INFJ and a calming effect? | INFJ Forum

INFJ and a calming effect?

Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by Blind Bandit, Sep 2, 2009.

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  1. Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    So I was watching INFJ videos and noticed a calming effect. After watching them. I've noticed other INFJs can really calm me down.

    I'm wondering others who aren't INFJ is this true for you?

    Two things that strike me and have been talked about before. INFJs calming voices and soulful eyes. I could listen to INFJs talk for what seems like ever. especially compared to the loud and grating voice many E types have. And of course looking into an INFJs eyes is just amazing.

    Is it just me or what?

    And do you think this is true for other types not just INFJs?
     
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    #1 Blind Bandit, Sep 2, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2009
  2. Nela

    Nela Community Member

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    I see what you mean. I think it's especially true for the way we talk. INFPs tend to have this effect on me too. Even more so than INFJs actually.
     
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  3. jenioq

    jenioq Four

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    This might sound crazy, but I find ESPs calming (if they're cool, that is). They can get me out of my head and make me have FUN, which is what I need 99% of the time to relax :-D

    For me personally, I think most F types are calming and comforting if they are happy Fs.
     
  4. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    Yeah, most F's are calming I find. Especially if they have clarity over a situation.
     
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  5. rainrise

    rainrise Community Member

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    to add, i think it also has something to do with the natural pauses in our speech that make room within thought processes (almost like slowing down or pausing to catch your breath during a jog).
     
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  6. IndigoSensor

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    These vareients make me feel these ways, MOST of the time (with anything, there are exceptions):

    FJ's are calming to me
    FP's are fun and frusterating to me
    TJ's are draining to me
    TP's are annoying and boring to me

    As I said this is just most of the time, people break these molds.
     
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  7. Julia

    Julia Community Member

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    I've been told often that I have a calming effect. It is usually a benefit when teaching, but didn't help in every instance today. Listening to someone quietly and taking a moment to respond tends to have a calming effect because you are absorbing emotional stimuli without introducing more into the situation. I also tend to reflect back the positive of what the person is offering me, so that shared emotional nuance is also reassuring. Hopefully my word choice makes sense here. It is the middle of the night here and I should be asleep.
     
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  8. Gaze

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    I've also been told I have a calming effect on others, or at least I try to. I can be very easy going but I have my moments, mostly in private. I dislike being challenged and I'm a bit sensitive, so I still have to watch my responses or reactions sometimes. As a college student, I thought of everything as a competition, but now I know better. It's not a competition, and it's not about me. I've learned to be more relaxed and calm. It's a work in progress but it feels very freeing and satisfying to have a calming rather than tense effect on the people around you.
     
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    #8 Gaze, Sep 6, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2009
  9. xrevolutionx

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    I've had that calm feeling come over me too! At the beginning of the video I've got this objective mind set and watch with an analytical stare. Before I realize it I've relaxed and even got a smile on my face. I starting playing the videos over again and I believe it's a combination of the tone of voice, how fast they speak, facial expressions, and a little bit of body language.

    Doesn't happen with other types though. I know an infp and she's way too up in the clouds for me. She has the same relaxing expressions but my attention quickly fades. I know an enfp and enfj but my energy tends to be the dominant "aura" between us.
     
  10. mtvg

    mtvg Newbie

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    Often told that even when I felt distraught or sad..............
     
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  11. Mystic7

    Mystic7 Regular Poster

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    I have been told that I have a calming aura and a calming effect on people. So it might be true.

    Staring into an INFJ's eyes... yeah it's great.
     
  12. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    I think that I intimidate or make other people nervous without intending to.
     
  13. IndigoSensor

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    I think this is common for us when we are seen alone. Our gaurds might get overcompensated, and make us appear standoffish.
     
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  14. VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

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    Something my girlfriends (and a few of my female friends that I cuddle with) have consistently told me is "I always feel safe in your arms." I always thought it was odd that they all made the same remark, though not always in the exact same words. Once it was "Why do I feel safer at your feet than in the arms of anyone else?" but you get the point. I think that is the INFJ calming effect in action.

    ENFJs tend to have an inspiring effect on people, while INFJs tend to have a calming effect. I've been accused of both, all my life.

    I think the simple fact of the matter is that NFJs have a mesmerizing effect on people, and can instill in them what we are feeling, whether it is enthusiasm, serenity, or intensity. We project more acutely than any other type. The fact that we have a calming effect is because we're usually calm. The fact that ENFJs are so inspiring is because they're usually enthusiastic about something. I don't know how it works, but it does.

    Ni and Fe seem to combine to create one hell of a psychic capacity. It's as if Ni provides the accuracy and ability while Fe provides the power and range. INFJs are more accurate and versatile with their abilities, while ENFJs are more powerful and able to reach more people.
     
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  15. OP
    Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    This is interesting. I hear "you give the best hugs." All the time.

    And I've been told that I really protect my mood on others.lol

    But yes I can totally relate to what your saying.

    I get the inspirational thing but I think that may be my attitude coupled with my disability.

    And I think the reason they mentioned feeling more safe with you may also have to do with a healthy INFJs ability to control themselves.
     
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  16. VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

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    True. I've never taken advantage of anyone, and I never will.

    I was going to rebuttal that also the women I was in sexual relationships said this about me, but even then, I'm sure they knew I'd never take advantage of them.

    You might be on to something. I just figured they could feel that there was nothing about me, to the core of my being, that would allow them to be hurt if it was within my power. I'm a protector like that.
     
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  17. midnightmelody

    midnightmelody nagging for truth

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    I've been told that my voice makes people a bit calm/drowsy, but in a good way (I could tell she meant it).

    I think my environment/homelife/parental influence has made me a bit of a "grouchy infj". I don't want to be like that! Oh dear.

    When I am truly content, though, yes.

    I know that infjs are great with reading the emotions of others, but it also seems that people can read me pretty well, too. That is, when I'm upset and not being sarcastic or employing any sort of defense mechanism.

    I get the "is something wrong?" question, and usually when I am upset. Is this part of our projection thing? I mean, I suppose it's only fair, since we take on the emotions of others a lot, that our faces should illicit at least some helping actions.
     
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  18. Gaze

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    "Grouchy infj." That sounds so much like me. And it's for the same reasons. I think I'll try exercising some "restraint."
     
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    #18 Gaze, Sep 16, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2009
  19. midnightmelody

    midnightmelody nagging for truth

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    It's just my parents...they drive me loco. Not with things they do to me, but what they do to eachother.

    I'd be happier if I lived alone, or with my sis in nyc.
     
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  20. Eric86

    Eric86 Community Member

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    My girlfriend (INFP) says I'm the only one who can really comfort her at all and make her feel totally calm and peaceful, and that I make her happy when it shouldn't be possible...:smile:
     
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