in love? or in love with the idea of love?
- Thread starter Grey Wolf
- Start date
Which do you think of more; the person him/herself, or what you would do together (and how BEAUTIFUL it would be!) with them?
For the latter, whomever the target doesn't matter; the most important thing is being in love.
For the latter, whomever the target doesn't matter; the most important thing is being in love.
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This is off topic, but I like this quote:
It is only when you open the door and step out that you realise it was never locked at all. - me
and this
I am here, was here, will always be here. Then again, I'm also not here, never was here, and never will be here. - me
It is only when you open the door and step out that you realise it was never locked at all. - me
and this
I am here, was here, will always be here. Then again, I'm also not here, never was here, and never will be here. - me
how do you know if you are in love with a person or in with with the idea of love?
Good question. I think it can be easy to confuse it but i think the difference is that when you're in love with the idea of love, you're not really seeing the person. Instead, you're focused more on the feelings and how the feelings make you feel, not how the person makes you feel. When you're in love with the idea of love, you idealize being in relationships. You perceive being in love as some overwhelming state of being which will make everything perfect and great. You imagine that it can do things it really can't, and you don't want to want to accept anything that says it won't. There is also a set romanticized idea of love. It's more a fantasy than reality. And you're more likely to impose feelings of affection on someone because you're in love with the thought of them, than actually develop real feelings for them. And the classic "in love with the idea of love" tends to view love as this overwhelming, all consuming force and feeling which you have no choice but to submit to because it is so high.
Good question. I think it can be easy to confuse it but i think the difference is that when you're in love with the idea of love, you're not really seeing the person. Instead, you're focused more on the feelings and how the feelings make you feel, not how the person makes you feel. When you're in love with the idea of love, you idealize being in relationships. You perceive being in love as some overwhelming state of being which will make everything perfect and great. You imagine that it can do things it really can't, and you don't want to want to accept anything that says it won't. There is also a set romanticized idea of love. It's more a fantasy than reality. And you're more likely to impose feelings of affection on someone because you're in love with the thought of them, than actually develop real feelings for them. And the classic "in love with the idea of love" tends to view love as this overwhelming, all consuming force and feeling which you have no choice but to submit to because it is so high.
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To a certain extent, I think we rely too heavily on this concept of love. I'm not saying love doesn't exist or is in any way a bad thing, but I think it's become too easy for people to use it (or lack of it) as an excuse for one thing or another.
I say this because people need to be more responsible and more devoted to others in their lives.. and this is not to suggest it's a selfless thing since what goes around should, by definition, come around. And, frankly, there's different levels of love, some of which are more deliberate than others. I mean, sure, be honest... don't fake loving someone; but at the same time, don't expect some momentous sign streaming down from on high in the form of electric neon glow to tell you what is and is not love, either. Be giving, be kind, appreciate others, cooperate more often than you compete, etc. Blah blah...
I guess a large part of how you can figure out the difference is if you think about what you think about when you think of the special someone. If you miss them because of a particular thing they always do, if you feel like only they are able to make you feel a certain way, that is being in love with the person. Personally, I'd never be able to allow myself to fall in love just for the sake of it. For it to feel right and strong, I need to fall in love with a PERSON.
I currently am very much in love, and what makes me melt, is when I remember the specific things he told me, the specific sweet gestures he's made for me, and just the way he holds things in his hand, his odd way of pronouncing certain words, makes me giggle. I also love him deeply, it frightens me, because of who he is and what his goodness is capable of. I believe in him, and of course, it still makes me incredibly happy thinking about all the lovely things we could do together...
I currently am very much in love, and what makes me melt, is when I remember the specific things he told me, the specific sweet gestures he's made for me, and just the way he holds things in his hand, his odd way of pronouncing certain words, makes me giggle. I also love him deeply, it frightens me, because of who he is and what his goodness is capable of. I believe in him, and of course, it still makes me incredibly happy thinking about all the lovely things we could do together...
I'm waiting for the big neon sign streaming down from the heavens...
I feel rather "eh" right now. Again it depends. I tend to be much more slooooowwww to commit my feelings to someone than perhaps a Feeler. It depends on how emotionally mature you are whether you love an idea or a person. People come with warts but high minded ideals are all roses and candy.
I feel rather "eh" right now. Again it depends. I tend to be much more slooooowwww to commit my feelings to someone than perhaps a Feeler. It depends on how emotionally mature you are whether you love an idea or a person. People come with warts but high minded ideals are all roses and candy.
Does it matter what causes you focus on something that feels good? Personally I think everyone is in love with being in love. I've never met anyone that said 'oh hell, I hate being in love. I just don't want to feel good'. The only thing that makes people say 'I am in lover with him\her' is that looking at that person makes them feel good because that person is pleasing to them. But at the end of the day it's the feeling which they are craving not the other person.
thats what got me thinking of this in the first place hahah I reach about the same conclusion and started to get confused again thats why i posted this haha
thanks! wrote those when i was feeling really really bad and those popped into my head haha especially the first quote haha nice quotes come from bad times eh HAHA