I used to not get along with other women, but now I do!

Artemisia

Artemisia

Community Member
MBTI
INFJ
I wonder if this is INFJ-related or universal among MBTI types.
As a child, I was bullied a lot at school and ostracized by both females and males. By my 20s, lots of men were interested in me and I assumed that I only got along with men and rarely, if ever, got along with women. Up until age 30, I tested as INTJ. After a series of unfortunate events at around that time period (death of father, mom getting cancer), I started testing as INFJ. After age 30, I also started to form close friendships with other women, to the point that I now feel closer to females than males in terms of friendship. I still have male friends, but the rise in female friendships has really surprised me.
Have my priorities shifted? Do I give off a different vibe now? Do INFJ women evolve toward closeness with their own gender after a certain age? Please note that I am not attracted to other women; I am merely stating that I feel closer emotionally to them than I once did.
 
I think it can equally go for males or females in terms of emotional closeness depending on how open you are to it. I've experienced rich friendships for people of both genders, and it did vary by age (it was actually reverse for me - closer to females when I was younger but closer to males in college).
 
Artemisia said:
Do INFJ women evolve toward closeness with their own gender after a certain age?
Click to expand...

I can't see a specific pattern, in my life at least. I think I've always had good quality female friendships through out my life. Or at least the desire and ability to have them. This is maybe been affected more for me by location than any other factor. e.g. availability of like minded people.
 
Strangely enough for me it has never been gender specific. The emotionally close relationships I've had have consistently been with NF or NT types though. The NF types last over distance and time. There's just a knowing of how they will be thinking or feeling when certain events occur.
 
I'm currently in my early twenties and I find the first portion of your post very relatable. I was bullied for most of my childhood by other females, and in highschool i had only two friends who were both males. I've struggled keeping friends with people regardless of the sex, but I have always noticed myself having an extremely hard time keeping friendships with women. Even the women in my own family. My conclusion is that other women find me threatening because i'm so different in comparison to most people. you know, the whole 1% of the population thing (INFJ). But its hopeful for me to read that at some point you were able to find a way to connect with other women, because i have an immense amount of respect for women and would like to be able to have close relationships with someone of the same sex as myself.
 
Most of very few close relationships I've had are with female friends, but tbh, I wouldn't mind more male friends. I like the type of honesty and authenticity I've experienced from the few male friends I've had. But what I've rarely experienced from male friends is that closeness and emotional connection I may get from female friendship. Although, guys are great with advice. And it's probably for the best that nothing personal panned out, because maybe that would have turned into something more, and would've just made it awkward if one but not the other wanted something more, and ultimately, the benefit of the honesty that comes with the pure friendship would be lost.

Edit: Had a bunch of other stuff written out about negatives of female friendships but deleted it. I was just being bitter :D. Gotta let that go. :)
 
Last edited:
I most definitely agree. Women are far more judgmental and less accepting of uniqueness and individuality. Its sort of a shame. :(
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top