Nicky, it sounds like you're frustrated. I'm going to go back over your words with you so maybe you can help us understand what needs to be said, and what is/isn't being said that we need to hear.
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Me and my friend have been best friends since frist grade. We had everything in common, same intrests,humor, values, everything. About a year ago he started going out with a girl. They love each other but they are very different about it. She is open to her feelings and trusts pretty much everyone (something I always found beatiful and amazing).
Problem #1: They "love each other." How? How are they compatible? And what kind of love is it? Do they love each other just because they kiss and fool around and hold hands?
Problem #2: You're stepping in dangerous territory, and I believe this is what we're seeing. You're seeing something special in her, and that admiration often turns to challenge in an opposite party. You've turned into her protector and her advocate, and that's really her boyfriend's role. You've become a surrogate protector - and she's getting from you what she should be getting from her boyfriend.
The "feelings" you've developed for her are dangerously strong. It's very easy for these types of feelings to develop into relationship feelings. It's easy to confuse friendship feelings with relationship feelings when they're this deep.
My friend though is insanly overprotective of her, whenever she gets close to anouther guy he freaks out, wether its in his head or verbally.
Problem #3: See Problem #1. This isn't love, this is possession. This is the love one has for a new car in a parking lot of reckless drivers - it's not human love. It's not REAL love. He's not mature enough to experience real love if he gets this jealous. These feelings can, unfortunately, turn into the type of jealous rages that cause people to get hurt - as in physical. As in abusive. It's not normal. Again, you do *not* need to be her protector by being the person she goes to for advice. Why? Because you're not equipped to handle this. You're not a counselor. He might be your friend, but this behavior is unacceptable. She needs to see a professional, and so does your friend. He needs to learn how to deal with his anger, and she needs to learn to not fall for the wrong men.
After a while I started getting closer to his girlfriend. She came to me with her problems she said she was afraid of messing up the relationship with him, I told her I think she feels this way because of how needy his love is and how overprotective he is
Danger, danger, danger. Again, see above. You're in the middle of some thin ice. Again, based on your words, you're in a love triangle. She's talking to you, not to him. Did you know that most affairs start because the other party discovers they can talk about their problems to an opposite sex friend? In the workplace, affairs usually start with a male coworker talking to a female coworker about his family issues. They become friends, and then the relationship develops. The affair develops because someone is seeking validation - validation that they *aren't* getting from the spouse! Same thing is happening here...and this is why we're cautioning you.
I think I helped her with that we keep talking and now I value you her as one of my closest friends I havn't been so close to anyone other my friend.
Bingo. It's starting, and well...you're in the middle of it. You might still see her as a friend but I guarantee you it's developing into more than just friendship. It really won't take that much longer. Plus, you guys are 17 years old. If twenty, thirty, forty, and fifty year olds can't do this in the workplace, what makes you think things will turn out differently for high school students on their way to new experiences via college--?
But my friend saw how close we've gotten and I guess not being able to freak out at his longtime friend keeps his feelings on the inside. I started to get feelings that he didn't trust me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here...YA THINK? Sorry, but this is truly Captain Obvious territory for us. You care for her, yes. But if I were the guy - even if I wasn't a jealous prick - I'd be uncomfortable with my girlfriend talking to my best friend about me. She needs to either talk to her girlfriends about it, or she needs to seek a professional. Yes, yes, I know she talks to you about it...but see above. This isn't something you want to talk to her about. And it's not something you need to be in the middle of.
Just recently me and her decided to hang out. She told him we were going to hang out for the day, then she asked him what he was going to do he said "I guess nothing now".
To quote Peter Griffith: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa....Whoa."
Screeeech! That's the big to-do. Right there. It's clue-by-four time. This is probably the worst thing you could do, and either she's coming on to you and you're not seeing it, or she's dumping your friend and using you as an excuse to escape. This is like something out of a manga now, because it's gonna end in tears. Shoot. Even if she wasn't dating a jealous ass, there is some things you can't do. If you guys were doing something in a group that's one thing. But going out to hang out with another guy's girl "just because" is tantamount to getting a black eye. Are you sure she's not trying to make your friend jealous enough to start a fight between you two?
Its at this point I realised what he's been doing, He's been swallowing his feelings, now I really don't he trusts me, I've been feeling so disconnected from him and now my fears are realized. This makes her the closest person to me now but I don't know what to do. I want to talk to her about it but I don't want to come between them. I know if I bring it up he would Deny everything... and he can be dam convincing at that. Anyway thanks for listening...any advice? or questions?
Answer? Don't talk to either one of them for a while. Distance yourself from the entire situation. Make her talk to him, and him to her and don't get in the middle of it. It's a minefield, babe, and you're tiptoeing in it. Sorry, but it's really the truth.
Good luck, though...try to do the brave thing.
