[INFJ] - I have tentatively decided... | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

[INFJ] I have tentatively decided...

Also, I noticed that INTJs are generally more composed in contrast to INTPs who tend to be more scatterbrained and random. Discussions with INTJs, especially on emotional topics, feel like an archaeological dig whereas INTPs tend to be, refreshingly, very transparent, speedy and direct. Argumentative discussions with INTPs tend to be more fun though because it's far less burdensome than with INTJs, where discussions are almost always weighty. Either way, as an INFJ, I definitely enjoy the company of INTPs and INTJs better than most other types. I've noticed that these are the only types that I can be more honest with, like I don't have to wear any masks or conjure up some form of chameleon-like persona.
 
TPs tend to ask for service whereas TJs just provide service.

They do? :wateven:

I'm as TP as it gets, and it's rare that I ask another person to do anything for me (at the least I'm going to feel a little shitty for asking).

Also, I noticed that INTJs are generally more composed in contrast to INTPs who tend to be more scatterbrained and random. Discussions with INTJs, especially on emotional topics, feel like an archaeological dig whereas INTPs tend to be, refreshingly, very transparent, speedy and direct. Argumentative discussions with INTPs tend to be more fun though because it's far less burdensome than with INTJs, where discussions are almost always weighty. Either way, as an INFJ, I definitely enjoy the company of INTPs and INTJs better than most other types. I've noticed that these are the only types that I can be more honest with, like I don't have to wear any masks or conjure up some form of chameleon-like persona.

Okay, all of that is definitely true. :blush:
 
Hmmm... I only have one INTP to compare to so maybe it can't be a benchmark but this person tends to ask for more acts of service on a daily basis. Like, please make me some coffee or please take care of this for me. Is that weird? To be fair, he mutually returns the acts of service on his own terms too so I don't feel resentful about it. Now that I think about it, he only does it with people he's comfortable with and not to every person in the room. The INTJs I know however hardly ever ask me for anything ---when they do, I'm certain they really need my help. For the most part, they always do things on their own.
 
Hmmm... I only have one INTP to compare to so maybe it can't be a benchmark but this person tends to ask for more acts of service on a daily basis. Like, please make me some coffee or please take care of this for me. Is that weird? To be fair, he mutually returns the acts of service on his own terms too so I don't feel resentful about it. Now that I think about it, he only does it with people he's comfortable with and not to every person in the room. The INTJs I know however hardly ever ask me for anything ---when they do, I'm certain they really need my help. For the most part, they always do things on their own.

Interesting. Maybe it isn't type dependent? Could be more of a love languages thing (regardless of whether actual "love" is involved in the interaction).

Growing up I had a parent who performed a lot of "acts of service" but always on the expectation/condition that there would be a return for the bargain. That may be why I prefer to do most things myself. I do have my moments where I like serving others, though.
 
Interesting. Maybe it isn't type dependent? Could be more of a love languages thing (regardless of whether actual "love" is involved in the interaction).

Growing up I had a parent who performed a lot of "acts of service" but always on the expectation/condition that there would be a return for the bargain. That may be why I prefer to do most things myself. I do have my moments where I like serving others, though.

That it's more of a love language could be possible. I have read that acts of service and quality time are some of the top love languages of the INTP type ---although I'm sorry I forgot where I read that so I can't properly reference it. INTPs are fairly new territory for me so it's been a very interesting topic to navigate so far. (I've been ruling out the "love" aspect since I want to be rational about this conquest. I'm definitely curious about what INTPs are like on a regular basis, minus "love").

If I may ask, do you know the MBTI of your "parent"? (inserting quotation marks because it actually feels disrespectful to refer to your mom/dad as "parent" in a sentence structure for a "mom/dad" :grin:)
 
Joking! You must be quite a strong person though! ;)

Well, I definitely became strong because of it. It was the only way to survive. :grinning:

The struggling part is that I always have to convince them that being emotional is a strength rather than a weakness and that they're always convinced they need to save me from my emotions. Via this forum, however, I'm learning that there probably isn't a need to evade emotions because it's simply healthier for INFJs to let the Fe function flow... so yeah, I'm gonna have to keep fighting INTJs on that front.
 
Via this forum, however, I'm learning that there probably isn't a need to evade emotions because it's simply healthier for INFJs to let the Fe function flow...

Definitely. Fe is not a weakness but a strength. :)
 
The struggling part is that I always have to convince them that being emotional is a strength rather than a weakness and that they're always convinced they need to save me from my emotions. Via this forum, however, I'm learning that there probably isn't a need to evade emotions because it's simply healthier for INFJs to let the Fe function flow... so yeah, I'm gonna have to keep fighting INTJs on that front.

I agree with @Ren here - if you have found yourself surrounded by T times (and it was grown ups such as family) they will tend to react to your emotions negatively, usually, and this can give you the conclusion that the emotions are somehow bad - but they aren't, they are neutral and it's up to us to decide whether they are an asset or a liability. I think it's the former, personally.
 
I think, and this is no more than a theory mind you, that INTXs might be the most meritocratic of all the types. By which I mean how well you get along with them is in an correlating trend to how worthy you are because we care precious little about being inclusive just for the hell of it.

I excommunicate boring people from my life without remorse. (perhaps this is all to general and could be true of everyone on Earth but just a passing thought of mine, don't take it too seriously)
 
Interesting thought, one that will send me thinking for a few hours if not days. At fist glance I'll agree with this only adding that our values of what we consider interesting in another's personality are dependent on our personality, therefore everyone's will be different - more of a one's man's trash is another's treasure sort of thinking. As for whether INTx is more like this than other types no idea - however your definition agrees with an INTP and an ENTP I know well so definitely something there.
 
I think, and this is no more than a theory mind you, that INTXs might be the most meritocratic of all the types. By which I mean how well you get along with them is in an correlating trend to how worthy you are because we care precious little about being inclusive just for the hell of it.

I admit I am yet to meet an INTP who's seemed "fake" to me. Not that I have met enough INTPs in real life for that observation to be statistically significant. But still, I appreciate that sort of inbuilt inability to pretend you're interested if you're not. ;)
 
I admit I am yet to meet an INTP who's seemed "fake" to me. Not that I have met enough INTPs in real life for that observation to be statistically significant. But still, I appreciate that sort of inbuilt inability to pretend you're interested if you're not. ;)
It does pretty clearly let you know what works and what doesn't. Much better than when someone gets mad at you and won't explain why. "You're supposed to know what you did" Well I don't, so what now?

I'm more than willing to apologize if I act like an ass but I need to understand first
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I found that it's difficult to convince an INTP that an action is "wrong" when my argument is based on social construct and/or feelings especially when INTP in subject has already carefully constructed a rationalization in defense of his/her behalf. But it's important to note that how others "feel" and what others "see" is actually in reality out of the INTP rational control and it will have an impact (to the world, to the other half, and to the INTP) regardless of it being a matter not really worth giving a fck about from an INTP point of view. I think of it as characterization and the inevitable loophole of cause, effect, and consequence. In the end, I understand the INTP defense but I also always understand the opinion/feelings of others on the matter. The good thing about INTPs is they let it go the minute they're convinced it's not worthy of discussion and i'd take that if only to diplomatically maintain harmony in my environment.
 
By which I mean how well you get along with them is in an correlating trend to how worthy you are because we care precious little about being inclusive just for the hell of it.

I think this statement probably applies to INFJs, possibly. As an INFJ no matter how tolerant I can be of most types, true engagement and interest doesn't really happen until i see the other as something rare and precious either. I'm friends with most people but I only really value very few.