I feel like I don't know myself

That's also a big issue -- that is meeting an authentic person who isn't self absorbed or afraid to look at themselves in an honest manner. It just seems like there are less and less people who are actually authentic with themselves and how they interact with the world around them. It makes finding someone you can trust really difficult. I have a great deal of knowledge of who I am and what I want in life, but I feel a horrid sense of missing something. I feel inevitably incomplete, and not just in the typical INFJ sense. Like there's something I must remember to feel whole again. But nomatter how close I feel I get to the truth, It slips away. One step forward, it takes one step further. It feels like I'm chasing rainbows.

 

I have juvenile idiopathic arthtitis, so occasional joint pain is a thing. But I've been connecting with myself more lately, and I feel like I'm more myself again. Like I'm in my own skin and not around it. I don't see a stranger when I look in the mirror anymore and finally see someone who I can accept being. I don't feel anything when I look in the mirror except, " Oh that's me," but that's better than, "I feel like I don't know myself," alongside a sense of slight disgust. You've all really helped me with this. I can't thank you enough. I was getting worried because I joined these forums to find a way to know myself better and find help and solutions for my issues, and I wasn't getting anything. But you've all helped so much with this. I feel like I can ask for help for other issues and can be confident I will receive helpful advice.

This is the same thing I've been going through. I've done the same thing, but for me instead of continuing to use myself as an outlet, I decided to accept myself. It isn't depersonalization, but I think it was how through everything I've been through, I started to subconsciously hate myself, seeing myself as someone who could once do anything and is now a failure at the things that truly matter. Talking to you all, I was able to understand that, and thus I was able to accept myself and not subconsciously repel myself. I feel like I'm in my own skin, but It's gonna take a while before I can truly love myself again. I hold a great deal of pride and trust in who I am, but I constantly look inwards, knowing I can be so much more. But I don't beat myself up for not being that so much more right now, and I strive to get there while loving myself instead if pushing myself away.
One step closer, but I'm still chasing rainbows.

 

And yes, definitely desperation, but my will isn't broken yet. However, I'm not afraid to accept that I am desperate for an answer, and there's nothing wrong with being desperate was long as you don't resort to anything immoral because of it. I'm happy we all have the ability to understand that here.

 

I don't feel like I'm not enough as much anymore, but I'm restless knowing I can be so much more and have the ability to solve these issues -- I just don't know how to.

 

There's just this feeling of incompletion. Like I need to remember something to feel whole again. I don't know what it is, but half my quest for knowledge is for this purpose (the other half is for fun). The more I learn about myself and the more I learn about this world, the closer I feel I'm getting to what I'm looking for. The issue is that many times, I take a step forward and it seems like it's taking a step backwards. But I'm inching closer and closer, so I feel I'm making progress.

 

It's just a long road full of so much. It's a quest for knowledge I guess. I don't know what the knowledge is for, but I feel like if I learn enough, I can help so many people. Helping better the world around me is my passion, and I take a great deal of reflection in how I can better do that. It's also the only thing that gives me a constant challenge and self growth, as going out of my way to make things a better place can be a tough hurdle at certain times, but it's a hurdle I love to surpass. But I feel as if I am remembering. More of who I am and what I love to do. I know what I want my career to be, but what do I want my life to be? That answer I believe is to help better this world. Maybe I feel lost since I don't get know my purpose? But I know helping others is my purpose, I just need to accept that. I realised that more today when I had an opportunity to give to others who had even less that I, and I don't have much. That really cleared a lot of things up. I've always felt like I couldn't when it came to helping others as much as I wanted to, but I can. So that makes me feel a lot better.