I feel like I don't know myself | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

I feel like I don't know myself

Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by Truth Eternity, Nov 10, 2019.

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  1. OP
    Truth Eternity

    Truth Eternity Community Member

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    That's also a big issue -- that is meeting an authentic person who isn't self absorbed or afraid to look at themselves in an honest manner. It just seems like there are less and less people who are actually authentic with themselves and how they interact with the world around them. It makes finding someone you can trust really difficult. I have a great deal of knowledge of who I am and what I want in life, but I feel a horrid sense of missing something. I feel inevitably incomplete, and not just in the typical INFJ sense. Like there's something I must remember to feel whole again. But nomatter how close I feel I get to the truth, It slips away. One step forward, it takes one step further. It feels like I'm chasing rainbows.
     
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    Truth Eternity

    Truth Eternity Community Member

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    I have juvenile idiopathic arthtitis, so occasional joint pain is a thing. But I've been connecting with myself more lately, and I feel like I'm more myself again. Like I'm in my own skin and not around it. I don't see a stranger when I look in the mirror anymore and finally see someone who I can accept being. I don't feel anything when I look in the mirror except, " Oh that's me," but that's better than, "I feel like I don't know myself," alongside a sense of slight disgust. You've all really helped me with this. I can't thank you enough. I was getting worried because I joined these forums to find a way to know myself better and find help and solutions for my issues, and I wasn't getting anything. But you've all helped so much with this. I feel like I can ask for help for other issues and can be confident I will receive helpful advice.
    This is the same thing I've been going through. I've done the same thing, but for me instead of continuing to use myself as an outlet, I decided to accept myself. It isn't depersonalization, but I think it was how through everything I've been through, I started to subconsciously hate myself, seeing myself as someone who could once do anything and is now a failure at the things that truly matter. Talking to you all, I was able to understand that, and thus I was able to accept myself and not subconsciously repel myself. I feel like I'm in my own skin, but It's gonna take a while before I can truly love myself again. I hold a great deal of pride and trust in who I am, but I constantly look inwards, knowing I can be so much more. But I don't beat myself up for not being that so much more right now, and I strive to get there while loving myself instead if pushing myself away.
    One step closer, but I'm still chasing rainbows.
     
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    Truth Eternity

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    And yes, definitely desperation, but my will isn't broken yet. However, I'm not afraid to accept that I am desperate for an answer, and there's nothing wrong with being desperate was long as you don't resort to anything immoral because of it. I'm happy we all have the ability to understand that here.
     
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    Truth Eternity

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    I don't feel like I'm not enough as much anymore, but I'm restless knowing I can be so much more and have the ability to solve these issues -- I just don't know how to.
     
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  5. dragulagu

    dragulagu Permanent Fixture

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    What answer do you wish to know?
     
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    Truth Eternity

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    There's just this feeling of incompletion. Like I need to remember something to feel whole again. I don't know what it is, but half my quest for knowledge is for this purpose (the other half is for fun). The more I learn about myself and the more I learn about this world, the closer I feel I'm getting to what I'm looking for. The issue is that many times, I take a step forward and it seems like it's taking a step backwards. But I'm inching closer and closer, so I feel I'm making progress.
     
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  7. JustPhil

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    I think much the same way about wanting to meet someone authentic. I also feel I have been searching all my life and all that comes from what I find are more questions. I also feel incomplete, lacking part of the whole. I always thought it would be having a SO in my life that was better suited to me, but I am beginning to realise that its about me completing myself not completed by another.

    All good strategies. Acceptance, self acceptance, self love and awareness.

    Yes, I am the same. You think an answer is around the corner, one that will give this big insight into life, its purpose, at least for you. All it does is give you more to ponder and more to look for. I read somewhere though that this is the purpose of life, to grow as "without growing so shall you wither and die". So self growth and knowledge of yourself, others and the world in general is a positive thing. Wanting to have some sort of conclusion or final answer is normal. However is there one? I only yesterday started reading a book on the "Art of Uncertainty" as I realised that events that were not "closed off" in my mind caused me discomfort. I am now looking at my fear of uncertainty as being another stepping stone in making peace with the world, and my mind. It is a never ending journey and my continual learning but my your acceptance of the fact it will be a never ending journey helps somewhat.
     
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  8. dragulagu

    dragulagu Permanent Fixture

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    Is it perhaps not taking a step forward or backwards but rather a step in the unknown? As long as you feel like you're making progress, that's a good thing.
     
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    Truth Eternity

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    It's just a long road full of so much. It's a quest for knowledge I guess. I don't know what the knowledge is for, but I feel like if I learn enough, I can help so many people. Helping better the world around me is my passion, and I take a great deal of reflection in how I can better do that. It's also the only thing that gives me a constant challenge and self growth, as going out of my way to make things a better place can be a tough hurdle at certain times, but it's a hurdle I love to surpass. But I feel as if I am remembering. More of who I am and what I love to do. I know what I want my career to be, but what do I want my life to be? That answer I believe is to help better this world. Maybe I feel lost since I don't get know my purpose? But I know helping others is my purpose, I just need to accept that. I realised that more today when I had an opportunity to give to others who had even less that I, and I don't have much. That really cleared a lot of things up. I've always felt like I couldn't when it came to helping others as much as I wanted to, but I can. So that makes me feel a lot better.
     
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  10. philostam

    philostam Community Member

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    Don't stare yourself in a mirror for more than 5-10 seconds and you won't have the problems of feeling disassociated. Everyone feels strange when they look at themselves in a mirror for too long. It's creepy. :grinning:

    Self knowledge is not so hard. MBTI helps, but so does revisiting your past and roots. Getting your family story right is crucial for self understanding, I think. Many people have an unreliable story of their childhood/parents. You gotta get it as accurate as possible.

    The next step is to figure out what your feelings/opinions/judgements about things are. Even smal things matter, It's incredible how many people go trough live with barely utilising the power of judgement. People have to learn to judge for themselves, otherwise they are like babies who simply accept everything.

    Well, that's my experience, And when you have all that + you develop your interests and career, then confidence/self esteem comes naturally.



    I like this passage from Schopenhauer about what the best path of developing the mind is.
     
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  11. philostam

    philostam Community Member

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    I noticed that people on Ni-Se axis are usually better judgers, or at least, they like judging form themselves more. People on the Ne-Si axis feel a bit insecure about making judgements, because they feel the need to consult other information and are naturally sceptical about their own point of view.

    Both can be bad. Ni-Se axis people can become too solipsistic and delusional, especially if not sufficiently balanced by extreverted judging function like Te and Fe. While Ne-Si axis people can become too meek and unconfident in their own judgements.
     
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  12. dragulagu

    dragulagu Permanent Fixture

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    Good man, that's an excellent purpose to follow!
     
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