I don't wanna be normal
- Thread starter SarahBS
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j654dgj7
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What do you consider normal?
muir
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I think that's probably a pretty usual INFJ feeling
Your journey is gonna be about finding a way to navigate through life in a way that makes you feel good, which as an INFJ will no doubt require you to live in accordance with your ideals
This can be tricky in a society that is currently run by the worst among us
Your journey is gonna be about finding a way to navigate through life in a way that makes you feel good, which as an INFJ will no doubt require you to live in accordance with your ideals
This can be tricky in a society that is currently run by the worst among us
INFJ16
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I'll assume that your wording of "normal" can mean "average" since it'll be easier for me to word things that way.
I don't think anyone really wants to be or feel "average" regardless of personality type. Most people would like to be helpful, interesting, likable, or talented in some way.
If you don't want to be a certain way... then don't. That's obviously easier said than done, but being above average means to put in a higher amount of effort than average.
I think you should figure out what it would look like for you to be "not normal" in the way that you find desirable, and then look into the practical steps it would take for you to get there- then go for it!
You seem to be setting yourself up for failure by saying things like, "I guess I can't do much in my country and I don't have the money and opportunity to leave it"
Since I don't know what it is you hope to accomplish that will make you not normal, I'll leave it at that.
I don't think anyone really wants to be or feel "average" regardless of personality type. Most people would like to be helpful, interesting, likable, or talented in some way.
If you don't want to be a certain way... then don't. That's obviously easier said than done, but being above average means to put in a higher amount of effort than average.
I think you should figure out what it would look like for you to be "not normal" in the way that you find desirable, and then look into the practical steps it would take for you to get there- then go for it!
You seem to be setting yourself up for failure by saying things like, "I guess I can't do much in my country and I don't have the money and opportunity to leave it"
Since I don't know what it is you hope to accomplish that will make you not normal, I'll leave it at that.
muir
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Maybe the OP does mean that
but 'normal' can also mean doing the expected things
I'm not sure all INFJ's long to do the expected things
I think some have aims outside what is usually expected
INFJ16
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That's certainly a possibility which is why I pointed out my assumption for the OP to correct if necessary.
Though the way I see it:
'some have aims outside what is usually expected'-
usually expected because that is what is usually done-
usually done= normal actions = actions averagely carried out
...
I'm not sure there is much of a discrepancy between our interpretations.
I think our definitions of 'normal' are rather correlative, but it's possible I'm misunderstanding your meaning/distinction.
muir
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The discrepancy is that your point seems to imply a negative concerning stepping out of the norm because by using the word 'average' you imply then that anyone who doesn't want to be 'average' wants to be better than average
And when you start talking about wanting to be better than average then that implies that you think you are better than everyone else
A person that doesn't want to do what is expected however might just be someone who wants to live differently without wanting or trying to be better than anyone else
I would say that many INFJ's probably aren't so bothered about trying to live exactly the same way as everyone else but are more interested in doing things their own way even if that does not conform to the norm
That doesn't mean they are trying to be better than anyone else just that they are walking their own path to remain aligned with their own internal directives
INFJ16
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I'm afraid we're on different levels, my friend. I'm not understanding all of your interpretation of my words. I believe my intent differs from your interpretation (I'll take the blame for what may have been a lack of decent articulation but not rescind my original thoughts on the matter.). At this point, continuing would likely not benefit the thread. Thank you for your critique just the same.
Gaze
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It's easy to want to escape our lives, especially when we feel we have too many fences, borders or restrictions on what we can do or how far we can expand our horizons. It can feel confining and depressing. Not easy to live in that feeling of claustrophobia where no matter how far you go, you still can't cross the line. Acknowledge that feeling, but also be realistic about your circumstances. Not sure what exactly your situation is like, but sometimes, when we can't escape our physical confines, it's best to find ways to live with ourselves and our life in ways that are manageable. Find things in your life you can do and enjoy, and make it your own. Rather than bemoan what you don't or can't have, live in your world in a way that makes the best of what's available to you. We can't always escape, but we can find ways to cope, if we give ourselves half a chance.
muir
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Ok...i think we're both applying our own interpretation here of what 'normal' is!
Perhaps we need to ask the OP what she means when she says she doens't want to be normal
Also maybe it would help (if its not too intrusive) for us to know what country she is living in that she feels is constrictive
I tend to agree with your posts by the way....i think we are just disagreeing here on the meaning of a word that's all
i wanted to clarify my position on it though because i personally don't want seek to emulate the usual box ticking exercise that many people deem a 'normal' life but at the same time i'm not seeking to outperform them but rather to do the things i want to do...if you see what i mean?
But its very possible that the OP did mean the word usage that you understood it to be; i've heard a couple of people from sweden speak in those terms...one wanted to be a singer or an actor i think
SarahBS
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Well a lot of things were on my mind when I started the thread and I forgot to mention the details!
by being normal, I mean being ordinary. I don't wanna be an ordinary girl that go to work and come home and have a routine life.I don't wanna fall into a routine.I wanna be different.
Well generally people tell me I am different. but that's not enough. I wanna change some.
The thing is my friends and I started a new business on education.I had a lot of goals. a very clear vision. But I had to split. For some reason I couldn't be there anymore.I had a very tough time and I couldn't keep up. I wanted hard work , commitment, being serious they wanted the opposite. they didn't have my vision none of them.
So now that I've left them I don't have any of those goals anymore.I've lost all of them and I need to start over again.Now I don't know where to start.I don't have any visions in my life! no goals related to my job.no goals at all! I'm confused. so last night I scared ....scared of being ordinary again...without any vision. without any plan to change something....
never wanted , never will. I don't even wanna be better.I wanna live a unique life.well let's say like a hero? I used to have a very powerful vision.now that I don't have it I feel quite empty inside...
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j654dgj7
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What I'm reading is a very ambitious woman has been let down in a bad way. The trick is to use it to your advantage. Keep your goals, seek new challenges. Update your resume to reflect your dedication to education, and your crystal clear vision on the subject.
Being different and seeing how things could improve is a powerful tool. A lot of people just aren't blessed with the ability to comprehend future goals. Believe in yourself and don't let them beat you down!
SarahBS
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Well. I can't have the same vision at the moment.now I'm all alone. I don't have any money to start my own business and I also don't have the connection.
nothing's clear on my mind now and I don't know where to start...I don't care about those people that much.I mean I do. but not much.but anyway...everything's different now...
muir
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ditto on what ezra said
life can be scary when we have moments of clarity
But as you know it can also be exciting when you have a clear vision to pursue
There is a difference between 'stress' which is negative and 'eustress' which is positive and invigorating
So you need to turn that negative stress into eustress and the way to do that is to take control of the situation again
Have a brain storming session where you write down all your ideas relating to what you want to do and how to go about that. See what you come up with and then from those ideas strategise the progression of steps you need to take to start moving things in the right direction
if you have started a business once, you can do it again...retrace your steps
@SarahBS
[h=1]Living Magically: The Art of Chewing Life Up and Spitting it Out[/h]
http://www.wakingtimes.com/2015/06/...e-art-of-chewing-life-up-and-spitting-it-out/
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SarahBS
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Well thank you for the link.
The thing is I don't have a dream anymore! I mean all those dreams I had seem so ridiculous now!
I don't know where to look for... what to look for... I can think of something but it's not a dream for me anymore.
I mean it's like I don't care about anything anymore to dream on!
I can think of continuing my education but still... it's not big enough! so what after that? ok imagine I've got the degree.what good will be done to society?
It's all nonsense!
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muir
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''when your dreams turn to dust....vacuum!''
Look...this is how it goes.....we all change as we grow and our dreams change with us
Now we can get down about that or we can learn to flow with it
Keep re-inventing yourself. Life is an adventure
You are here having a life experience for an indeterminate amount of time....so...what ya gonna do with it?
Ask yourself what makes you feel good when you do it? Ask what flows for you as a person and doesn't feel like a chore?
In an ideal world you want to be doing something that feels good, that flows, that doesn't feel like a chore and that doesn't compromise your values
However as you change that thing in your life you feel passionate about may well change too
You have to be like a snake and shed your skin and evolve into something new
Constantly evolve, renew and re-invent
Try different things...some won't work for you and some will but it's often said that the only things we regret on our death bed are the things we didn't do, so don't fear failure, fear not trying!
This is a good website for sussing out different jobs. It gives info about them and how to get involved in them and also testimonials from people who have walked those paths
Its a good way to window shop for jobs and get some ideas!
http://www.prospects.ac.uk/
