How to look after young INFJs | INFJ Forum

How to look after young INFJs

floatingbridge

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Aug 21, 2009
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How do I look after one? So young, too little...to become involve in this typological, fantansia?

Any tips, greatly appreciated................
 
your sister/brother? ... :) :)
 
I'm giving out no more information than that.

But how would you do it?
 
Is it a male or female? The concrete methods would vary somewhat, I believe.
 
Give her or him some time alone every once in a while
 
Encourage their creativity and learning, crafts and/or legos are a nice place to start. Ensure your INFJ gets physical activity too, if the child is up to it, group activities are good to help them socialize -- but dont forget to watch for signs if the child is not getting along. Depending on the temperament of your particular INFJ child, explaining your reasoning for doing certain things is nice. When I was an adolescent, if an adult didnt explain his reasoning for something that I didnt like, i would make up my own.
 
My mother got some advise when I was about 6 or so. She was told "don't ever try to change that boy!!" She didn't. In fact, she and Dad both allowed me to follow my own course...same for my sibs. So in relation to an INFJ I think it is just best to realize that 1) they are not yours...they belong their own destiny and 2) insee into what makes them tick and nurture that. This kinda works for any kid...nuturing and love. Typology is great and all but we are all still unique...I'd not try to pidgeonhole them too much in any way.

I have raised four kids myself....I just helped them to be the most fulfilled "them" that they could be.
 
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Amen. It's really helpful when you nurture a child's strengths and let them be the best they can be.
 
How do you know if someone younger than yourself is an INFJ, pip?

Human beings don't fully develop their cognitive architecture until around age 25 - and that's a physiological fact, not a psychological assumption. Anyone under the age of 18 is very likely not done growing into their cognitive function preferences.

Are you asking how to encourage someone into INFJ preferences?
 
My mother got some advise when I was about 6 or so. She was told "don't ever try to change that boy!!" She didn't. In fact, she and Dad both allowed me to follow my own course...same for my sibs. So in relation to an INFJ I think it is just best to realize that 1) they are not yours...they belong their own destiny and 2) insee into what makes them tick and nurture that. This kinda works for any kid...nuturing and love. Typology is great and all but we are all still unique...I'd not try to pidgeonhole them too much in any way.

I have raised four kids myself....I just helped them to be the most fulfilled "them" that they could be.

+1 well put. Both my kids are infj, as far as I can tell, but neither has had any bad experiences yet to really show that introverted side , but I see it. I agree completely with above. Both my kids are completely different, and I treat them distinctly. Foster their self esteem... period, dot.
 
How do you know if someone younger than yourself is an INFJ, pip?

Human beings don't fully develop their cognitive architecture until around age 25 - and that's a physiological fact, not a psychological assumption. Anyone under the age of 18 is very likely not done growing into their cognitive function preferences.

Are you asking how to encourage someone into INFJ preferences?
I disagree, the basis of which is my own experiences and temperament as a child -- which often resembles that of an Ni dominant, and many of my needs were Fe based -- but positive use of Fe didnt start developing until adulthood. It is often difficult to type children fully due to the fact that they tend to be adapting and discovering their cognitive functions.

Though I suppose you do have a point regarding encouraging someone into INFJ preferences. I suppose if you encourage someone to develop their preferences, period, then it would be much better than trying to become 'more infj'.
 
I disagree, the basis of which is my own experiences and temperament as a child -- which often resembles that of an Ni dominant, and many of my needs were Fe based -- but positive use of Fe didnt start developing until adulthood. It is often difficult to type children fully due to the fact that they tend to be adapting and discovering their cognitive functions.

Though I suppose you do have a point regarding encouraging someone into INFJ preferences. I suppose if you encourage someone to develop their preferences, period, then it would be much better than trying to become 'more infj'.

Yes, that's what I meant. Since we can't be sure someone is a certain type until maturity, any speculation on type is assumptive and any efforts based on those assumptions would be encouraging behaviors and preferences.

Even though I remember having a lot of perceptions as a child that were Ni, Fe, Fi, and Ne focused, I also remember clear phases of Se, Ti, and Si. The only thing I never seemed to have put much capacity into was Te. From that I could have developed into a number of different types. I agree that most people are likely to show signs of the type they will develop into at an early age, but others may not.

All I was saying is that I think it's a bad idea to encourage type in a child, and instead just be supportive in whatever direction they seem to be developing at any given moment. It's natural for us to switch back and forth through all of the functions as preferences during childhood and adolescence. If a child seems like they could be developing into an INFJ, then support them, but also give them the freedom to suddenly switch gears if they choose.
 
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Background info: The young one is 12.

hey, you sly one
your sister/brother? ... :) :)

nope
Give her or him some time alone every once in a while

thing is, she's trusting me.....FULL OF TRUST

Encourage their creativity and learning, crafts and/or legos are a nice place to start. Ensure your INFJ gets physical activity too, if the child is up to it, group activities are good to help them socialize -- but dont forget to watch for signs if the child is not getting along. Depending on the temperament of your particular INFJ child, explaining your reasoning for doing certain things is nice. When I was an adolescent, if an adult didnt explain his reasoning for something that I didnt like, i would make up my own.

So in relation to an INFJ I think it is just best to realize that 1) they are not yours...they belong their own destiny and 2) insee into what makes them tick and nurture that. This kinda works for any kid...nuturing and love. Typology is great and all but we are all still unique...I'd not try to pidgeonhole them too much in any way.

that is a very cool way of putting it. but, since she wants to be like me, that's great, but MAKING her me is not exactly my intention

Amen. It's really helpful when you nurture a child's strengths and let them be the best they can be.

How do you know if someone younger than yourself is an INFJ, pip?

Human beings don't fully develop their cognitive architecture until around age 25 - and that's a physiological fact, not a psychological assumption. Anyone under the age of 18 is very likely not done growing into their cognitive function preferences.

Are you asking how to encourage someone into INFJ preferences?

no, dealing with the current circumstances. Growing, adolescent, where i am and what she doesn't know - how to keep her close, safe and happy but with certain distance. gahh

+1 well put. Both my kids are infj, as far as I can tell, but neither has had any bad experiences yet to really show that introverted side , but I see it. I agree completely with above. Both my kids are completely different, and I treat them distinctly. Foster their self esteem... period, dot.

i might try being the picture of morality, even though i am not
 
but... how could a 12 year old feel like an INFJ that much?... can you develop it that early?.. i'm 16 and I'm still confused about my type and am constantly changing.. I have much more to learn feel and experience.. I don't think i was even an INFJ before.. i just felt like it when everybody around me left me.. and then i felt alone :)

don't tell them that they're INFJ..
but make them feel understood.. that they're not alone that they're not different in a bad way..and yeah help her/him develop his/her self esteem and... LOVED :)