how do you plan to discipline your children? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

how do you plan to discipline your children?

I certainly do NOT want or wish to have any children now but maybe after 10 years or something :))

well..:m083: I have to know them first before I decide what type of punishment (maybe this :m180: or this :m071: or this :) :m170: but I don't want them to be really scared of me to the point that they'll do this :m162: ) I'll use. After knowing them well then maybe I could decide :)):))
 
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Artsu Tharaz said:
I won't need to discipline my children. I'm so awesome that my children will
be equally, if not more, awesome, due to having my genes and being raised
by me, and nothing they do will require punishment because everything they
do will be FUCKING AWESOME YEAH.
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Ha! Just you wait! You're in for quite a surprise.
 
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Norton said:
Ha! Just you wait! You're in for quite a surprise.
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Nope, once they get to about 3, maybe 7, my kids will be Pure Awesome.

This will happen just as I envision. I have Ni and can therefore foresee the future.
 
I'm with Enigma on this. It can only ever be hypothetical until you work out what works for your kids (and you). We also have an aspie in the house and things can get a bit hairy at times. If we're out in public, bystanders stop to offer advice to me in managing my kid's meltdowns. They don't get that it isn't a discipline issue and is not a reflection of my child's character nor my disciplinary skills.

The younger one is a button pusher and a daredevil. He does not understand the meaning of the word no and he will go as far as he can until he finds out where the boundary is then promptly crosses it.

Both kids are very different and respond to different discipline techniques. The younger one sometimes does not respond at all to anything. He is very much a challenge.

All you can do is try things and see what works. When you find something that works, try to stay consistent. That is my only advice on this topic =)
 
melbo said:
I'm with Enigma on this. It can only ever be hypothetical until you work out what works for your kids (and you). We also have an aspie in the house and things can get a bit hairy at times. If we're out in public, bystanders stop to offer advice to me in managing my kid's meltdowns. They don't get that it isn't a discipline issue and is not a reflection of my child's character nor my disciplinary skills.

The younger one is a button pusher and a daredevil. He does not understand the meaning of the word no and he will go as far as he can until he finds out where the boundary is then promptly crosses it.

Both kids are very different and respond to different discipline techniques. The younger one sometimes does not respond at all to anything. He is very much a challenge.

All you can do is try things and see what works. When you find something that works, try to stay consistent. That is my only advice on this topic =)
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[MENTION=3849]melbo[/MENTION]
Oh A-FREAKIN-MEN!
I have been there. It really pisses me off. ANd both my kids like to push the other's buttons -esp in public - esp when there are multiple bystanders.... Walk a little in my shoes people, you think it is so easy? Here: take them for a day. Call me when you need meds. ;-)
 
melbo said:
The younger one is a button pusher and a daredevil. He does not understand the meaning of the word no and he will go as far as he can until he finds out where the boundary is then promptly crosses it.
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Sometimes, the traits that we find most obnoxious in our young kids become great sources of strength and success when they are older. The extreme persistence of my oldest son that caused him to never take no for an answer as a kid, translated into hard nosed business acumen as an adult. What I learned is that I don't know everything (I've learned this many times over as I go through life). So, be careful what you try to change in your kids.
 
teach them what they need to teach themselves how they learn. forcing your own behavior on them and forcing your own ideals on them is stupid. teaching them the way that you learn is stupid. you got your basics: don't hit people, don't insult people (at least, don't insult people without backing it up or without being prepared to deal with the consequences), mind your manners. that's really it. the rest is up to them.
 
Norton said:
My children are no longer children but, when they were, "time out" was very effective. Indeed, used intelligently, "time out" is more effective than violence because it forces the child to contemplate and take control of his or her behavior.
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I remember when I first signed up here, one of my issues was with discipline with my twins. I'm not a spanker. And I rarely yell. I figured I wasn't communicating with them on their level (not to say their level of communication is lesser than mine).

Time-out works wonders for me. I don't even have to use it as much as I had to in the beginning. We generally have conversations about why they should/shouldn't do things, and they absorb that information and remember most of it. They do test me regularly (just because they can), but I've learned to detect it and not react with as much anger. That just makes the situation worse. I give 'em the "side look" most of the time.

"Mommy, why are you looking at me like that?"
"You know why..."
"Because I threw all the alphabet magnets on the floor? I'll pick them up."
"Thank you."

lol
 
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I'm going to thrash them to within an inch of their lives with a big leather belt!

In all seriousness it's a pretty hard question because the obvious answer is withdrawal of privileges however you have to be careful that the children don't associate certain behaviors with the withdrawal of love so I'd have to be very careful about the way I worded things, "I love you, but I hate the way you're behaving" which may be complex for a child to understand depending on their age. I suppose it doesn't really matter anyway though since I don't plan to have children. However it is something you have to think about because if something where to happen I'm not one to run from the situation.
 
Um... if I adopted I don't know how much discipline I would do. Mostly positive reinforcement cause that works the best. Encourage a good learning and artistic environment, that's my biggie.
 
I intend on using loss of things important to them. favourite toys, outings etc.

I love how my landlady makes her child clean his room by saying if he doesn't do it some of his loved toys which are all over the floor will be going to some boys and girls who don't have wonderful toys like that....

I also plan on following through on punishments where it is deserved. I don't want to be the sort of mother who backs down.
 
Galileo said:
I love how my landlady makes her child clean his room by saying if he doesn't do it some of his loved toys which are all over the floor will be going to some boys and girls who don't have wonderful toys like that....

I also plan on following through on punishments where it is deserved. I don't want to be the sort of mother who backs down.
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I do this. But really, they have too many toys and it drives me insane. I called myself being sexy and putting purple satin sheets on the bed, only to discover some Hot Wheels under them in a night of passion. I have a huge box in the basement of toys they don't play with and I am sending them to western Africa in the middle of the summer.

I suck at following through though. When they are utterly obnoxious and sassy, I laugh. So they do it again. And I laugh some more. What a conundrum.
 
I will send them to a room where there is only a desk and I will assign them an essay on how they believe they can improve their behavior. I will time them for 20 minutes.
 
I have a 2.7-year old (son) and a 9-month-old (daughter). My husband is an ESTJ. We are still figuring discipline out.

So far it is a mix of the socratic method, deductive reasoning, time-out, deprivation of beloved things, bribery, extortion, and positive reinforcement (in no particular order). And, yes, occasionally spanking (to the 2-year-old, only).

I had never planned to have children, and didn't intend to for several years, if at all. Then, once I came to terms with my first pregnancy, I had planned to only practice enlightened parenting (no yelling, no spanking, no short temper, no emotionally charged or high pressure situations, only positive redirection, totally unlike my own upbringing), but when my two-year-old wouldn't listen to reason (and nothing else worked), sometimes I have lost my temper. Originally, I didn't spank and only my husband did, until I persuaded him to give it up, and only resort to "stand-in-the-corner" techniques, and (for lack of a better term), intimidation. The intimidation usually works like a charm when my son won't listen to anything else, but I prefer it to be a last resort after I try reasoning with him. (I call intimidation when my husband comes in from another room, and stands over my son with a unhappy or even angry look on his face and "intimidates" our son into submission).
I have gotten much better over time at minimizing stressful situations with the kids, but I am often left alone with the two of them, and occasionally they are both crying (screaming) at the same time. That is when it is most difficult, but redirection of thought really helps.

My son is very bold, energetic, and easily distracted and excitable. I would type him an ENTJ (but he may be an S instead of an N, and being a child, he is very emotional and affectionate, so he may be an F instead of an T). I forget how young he is and often see him as a much older soul than he probably is. I respect him.
My daughter is still a baby, of course, but she is very temperamental. She throws fits and screams at the top of her lungs when she is very tired, and has to be held until she calms down. That said, both children sleep in their own beds, in their own rooms, and do excellently with their more independent milestones. They both seem very bright and happy, and we always get compliments on how polite (and energetic) and funny and sweet my son is, and how cute and happy my daughter is.

You will do what works for you and your children, but my advice is to make sure you take time out for yourself. When you don't, your frustration can bubble over to your children, and cloud your judgment for the best discipline technique for the situation.
 
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I was thinking of having Megatron being a full-time nanny around the house if I ever had kids. That's discipline enough, right? Or should I bring Skelator in as well? (and no, this doesn't mean I'd sit my kid/s in front of a television all day. That would make me quite the hypocrite...)

Oddly enough, in all honesty, if I ever had a kid or kids, I'd probably try to repeat a lot of what my parents did, but try to correct some things they didn't do right imho, such as scold me when I first tried something different, which made it hard for me to become autonomous when I was a kid. However, I did outgrow that when I got my driver's license, and feel that I'm just as well off in the sense of autonomy as most of my peers today.
 
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