How do you maneuver friendships with the opposite sex? | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

How do you maneuver friendships with the opposite sex?

But it kind of depends on everyone's personal experiences, doesn't it? Personality, social interaction, personal motives, relational needs, all play a role in how relationships including friendships develop. Simply because one person has had the opportunity to develop platonic relationships with friends of both sexes, doesn't mean someone else who has tried will.

So. Then why the generalisation that all men just want to fuck you?

Every woman who thinks that, is a narcissist.

LOL K.
 
So. Then why the generalisation that all men just want to fuck you?

Every woman who thinks that, is a narcissist.

LOL K.

I didn't make that comment. i was responding to someone's statement. i only commented in earlier posts to explain why someone may feel the way they do.
 
So. Then why the generalisation that all men just want to fuck you?

Every woman who thinks that, is a narcissist.

LOL K.

I didn't make that comment. i was responding to someone's statement. i only commented in earlier posts to explain why someone may feel the way they do.
I didn't say that either, you're now expanding upon my statement out of offence to mean something way way worse than me just sharing my personal sadness at not being able to make friendship which I consider important to work all the time. If you want me to explain my feelings in a way you could ever possibly empathize with without feeling as though I was attacking you and everyone, we can take this to PMs.
 
I didn't make that comment. i was responding to someone's statement. i only commented in earlier posts to explain why someone may feel the way they do.

And I was just commenting on the stereotype.
 
I didn't say that either, you're now expanding upon my statement out of offence to mean something way way worse than me just sharing my personal sadness at not being able to make friendship which I consider important to work all the time. If you want me to explain my feelings in a way you could ever possibly empathize with without feeling as though I was attacking you and everyone, we can take this to PMs.

DoveAlexa, didn't mean to misrepresent your comments at all. I understood what you said and meant. I didn't expect the comments to be represented as they were.
 
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Wasn't referring to you ressykins. I know you got me :).
 
I didn't say that either, you're now expanding upon my statement out of offence to mean something way way worse than me just sharing my personal sadness at not being able to make friendship which I consider important to work all the time. If you want me to explain my feelings in a way you could ever possibly empathize with without feeling as though I was attacking you and everyone, we can take this to PMs.

I've heard that 'talk this out on pm' before. Does that mean I'm saying something awkward?
What about the wild generalisations? Were those parts of your personal experience too?

You know, I get seriously irritated by all the stereotypes.
'Its cuz of men I hav anorexia' 'White people are racist' 'Men can't show their feelings'

And I didn't just base this on one post. And, it has been said by other users too.

Commence the backpedaling!
 
I've heard that 'talk this out on pm' before. Does that mean I'm saying something awkward?
What about the wild generalisations? Were those parts of your personal experience too?

You know, I get seriously irritated by all the stereotypes.
'Its cuz of men I hav anorexia' 'White people are racist' 'Men can't show their feelings'

And I didn't just base this on one post. And, it has been said by other users too.

Commence the backpedaling!
It seems like your firing a minigun on all of us with a blindfold on. Giving examples of my grief wasn't meant to say "all men are bad zomg"
Just that I've been real unlucky with those I've tried to make friends with. You're not exactly portraying yourself to be a nice friendly guy either. I certainly didn't blame the men for all my life's troubles either.
If your going to get angry, pick out specific parts and quote em, bitch em, and let us explain. Don't just shoot us all down.
 
It seems like your firing a minigun on all of us with a blindfold on. Giving examples of my grief wasn't meant to say "all men are bad zomg"
Just that I've been real unlucky with those I've tried to make friends with. You're not exactly portraying yourself to be a nice friendly guy either. I certainly didn't blame the men for all my life's troubles either.
If your going to get angry, pick out specific parts and quote em, bitch em, and let us explain. Don't just shoot us all down.

Aha, creating a 'group'. That's nice. One of the commonly used propaganda techniques. Since you've basically asked me to reply, I will.

Naturally I'm mentally avoiding the whole attraction thing on my end, and I forget that it can be such a big problem on theirs.

I am beginning to think that the only reason a guy makes friends with me is to get into my pants. Which is of course pretty natural thing for a guy to try and do.

I've made a point to avoid them in the future. The guy almost always professes attraction at some point which creates a lot of discomfort for me and makes the whole friendship really awkward.


And that's just on the first page.
 
Aha, creating a 'group'. That's nice. One of the commonly used propaganda techniques. Since you've basically asked me to reply, I will.

And that's just on the first page.
"can be a problem on their end"

1. I have made up my mind not to be attracted, I forget that they haven't automaticly decided that themselves. the difference between me being at 100% not, and them being at not 100% not, whatever their percent is, its not 100%. Also, its fair to say that just because I'm not interested doesn't mean it automatically makes them not interested. I said forget as in I feel guilty that I may be hurting them unknowingly.

2. Teenagers have their highest sex drives at 16-18. I also meant natural as in it is a thing not desearving of scorn. The fact that they may be interested isn't inherently a bad thing.

3. Just last week I had a guy who found out I was together with someone, who was a month before saying in clear words and actions he wanted to be my friend. Then once he found out I was taken, he got really really pissed at me, insulted me subtly and repeatedly, called me ugly and then told me that if I was taken (I wasn't at the time we met) that I should tell him when he expressed "interest". His interest was expressed as friend only, and so I didn't tell him immediately upon dating someone that "don't talk to me anymore I'm taken" because that was not the relationship I had with him, or so I though. Not to mention if I was wrong, thats a totally awful thing to say to a guy, if he was indeed being a friend. Naturally, I was very upset and am still upset.
 
"can be a problem on their end"

1. I have made up my mind not to be attracted, I forget that they haven't automaticly decided that themselves. the difference between me being at 100% not, and them being at not 100% not, whatever their percent is, its not 100%. Also, its fair to say that just because I'm not interested doesn't mean it automatically makes them not interested. I said forget as in I feel guilty that I may be hurting them unknowingly.

2. Teenagers have their highest sex drives at 16-18. I also meant natural as in it is a thing not desearving of scorn. The fact that they may be interested isn't inherently a bad thing.

3. Just last week I had a guy who found out I was together with someone, who was a month before saying in clear words and actions he wanted to be my friend. Then once he found out I was taken, he got really really pissed at me, insulted me subtly and repeatedly, called me ugly and then told me that if I was taken (I wasn't at the time we met) that I should tell him when he expressed "interest". His interest was expressed as friend only, and so I didn't tell him immediately upon dating someone that "don't talk to me anymore I'm taken" because that was not the relationship I had with him, or so I though. Not to mention if I was wrong, thats a totally awful thing to say to a guy, if he was indeed being a friend. Naturally, I was very upset and am still upset.

You didn't have to repeat all that. I just found all the generalisations you made dumb.
 
Then why did you agree with my asking you to point out specific pieces of my argument so I could clarify if you didn't want that?
Your generalizations were much worse though, I made no mention of self-importance or accusing men of all my troubles and I saw no one else saying such. Then why accuse us all in a much worse generalization than any of us did? I think we need a few anecdotes on why you are so offended by our statements, like when you heard a women saying these things to you.
 
Then why did you agree with my asking you to point out specific pieces of my argument so I could clarify if you didn't want that?
Your generalizations were much worse though, I made no mention of self-importance or accusing men of all my troubles and I saw no one else saying such. Then why accuse us all in a much worse generalization than any of us did? I think we need a few anecdotes on why you are so offended by our statements, like when you heard a women saying these things to you.

Oh my god. There you are, doing it again. Implying that there's something wrong with my mental condition.
I'm not even sure what to reply to that.

And the only thing you did was just repeating yourself.
 
Oh my god. There you are, doing it again. Implying that there's something wrong with my mental condition.
I'm not even sure what to reply to that.

And the only thing you did was just repeating yourself.
then there is nothing further to discuss
 
For the most part I do not have trouble with male friends, however if I have interest in them beyond friendship then I start to get awkward around them. It's usually easier if they have no interest in me or if I'm not aware of the interest as well. I've never learned how exactly to deal with that.

I generally get along with males better as I seem to have more in common and find them more interesting, females, for the most part, seem to drive me mad. The general female stereotypes infuriate me and there almost always seems to be that one such female generalization will arise with my female friends. It also seems that most females I know can take criticism less well then the males that I know. Perhaps that is a factor as to why my female friendships tend to not last as long.
 
with a compass and a map of the reproductive system.

i just talk with them like anyone else, i make no distinctions based on their sex.
 
Woah woah there people. Way to blow things out of proportion much?

I can't speak for anyone else in this thread but my comment was definitely not aimed at stereotyping males as a group in any way or ascribing qualities of certain individuals to everyone. It's just an account of personal experience, and trust me generalizing off one's personal experience is a big pet-peeve of mine too.