lol... Well. I mostly know INFP's who are still in the "finding themselves" phase whereby they want to maintain their individuality so they will change who they are and what they want from one day to the next but can't seem to settle on any one thing in particular.
I find that some INFP's have a very bad victim mentality and they have no problems discussing their feelings ALL OF THE TIME. I also find that where some INFP's are very direct, they also tend to get in these phases where they're vague and try to bait me to ask what's up with them. They like to allude to things but won't spell it out and seem to get a thrill out of information being dragged out of them which I absolutely under no circumstances will indulge.
They're nice people but some of their tendencies grate on me.
I should add to this I think. The INFP's that I know pretty much don't have any fear about talking about how they feel. They make themselves vulnerable to other people by default by wearing their hearts on their sleeves, in their pockets, on their pants and under their shoes (and end up stepping all over their own hearts). They're pretty brave with their emotions and I think I've envied that since I am so very guarded with mine.
INFP's, while flitting from one lifestyle or perspective to the next aren't afraid to try new things, aren't afraid to explore the entirety of who they are and they don't make any apologies for it either. I think that this is where the perception of INFP's being social butterflies comes from. They do get anxious, they do get shy and reserved, they are introverted, but they also come up with things they want to do and try and they go do it despite that. This is a quality I like about INFP's very much. Also, I find when the INFP's I know talk about their feelings, even if they're in victim mode they don't really expect you to empathize with them. It's like, "these are my emotions and I operate primarily on an emotions based level... I'm just letting you know what I'm feeling" and they don't really offer much in return. What I HATE is that if I try to talk to INFP's about what's going on with me they flat out don't want to hear it or they won't be able to invest much into that particular conversation before they automatically flip into talking about themselves again.
INFP's aren't really selfish, though. They can't help themselves and I don't think most of them are even conscious of how they come off or how they operate in interpersonal relationships. The ones I know get very needy, very clingy and very paranoid about their friendships and romantic interests. I also find that they fall hard and they fall fast even if the person they're dealing with could NOT be less compatible with them lol. I think because INFP's are such dreamers that they often fail to keep their reality in check and see what's really going on. Sometimes they don't want to see it, either.
What I will say though is that INFP's are very loyal and trustworthy people (at least the couple that I know). I've never really felt hesitant to share sensitive information and with the exception of one small incident I've never had any instances where I've been betrayed by an INFP. I don't know if that's an Fi thing, or what. I have heard of a few instances of INFP's spilling secrets though which makes me wary of those particular individuals but so far so good for me.
Some people seem to be mentioning criticism of INFP's and how they take it. I don't know what your experiences are, but being the type of person I am I'm not afraid to tell them what's up and when they're being unreasonable or completely ridiculous. I DO NOT bite the bait they lay out for me and I absolutely do not indulge in pity parties with them. I have one INFP I know who always has these updates alluding about wanting to kill herself. My response generally runs along the lines of "lol... no you don't." I don't know and don't care if it offends her or drives her closer to the edge. Not because I want her to kill herself, but because I know she isn't going to and I'm not going to be one of those people who feeds into that. Here's a piece of advice though: When you're dealing with INFP's and you have some criticism to deliver try to do it with a series of questions:
How do you feel about that?
Why do you think that is?
Do you think it could be different?
What do you think needs to change?
How would you like this situation to be?
How do you think you're handling it?
What do you want out of this?
That kind of thing. Works like a fucking charm with ANYONE, not just INFP's. That way you don't really have to give advice, you don't have to really indulge them. You ask them a series of simple, open ended questions that forces them to regard their own feelings and behaviour and also forces them into getting back in touch with reality and allows them to self reflect without YOU placing any judgement on them or trying to tell them they should be something they're not. The INFP's deal with criticism pretty well as far as I know if you know how to bring them some self awareness and they realize that things could be different for them.
You absolutely do not have to walk on eggshells around them. If you do, that perpetuates whatever behaviour you find unfavourable. They can handle things better than you think, even if sometimes they seem like emotional wrecks.
