How do you deal with fake people? | INFJ Forum

How do you deal with fake people?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Artemisia, Oct 31, 2016.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 25 users.
More threads by Artemisia
  1. Artemisia

    Artemisia Community Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2014
    Threads:
    90
    Messages:
    355
    Featured Threads:
    14
    Likes Received:
    210
    Trophy Points:
    602
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Do you call them on their bs or let it go? What if they are fake and lie to you all the time? And what if they are family members instead of simply acquaintances or co-workers?
    I know how I deal with them but would like to see how others do.
     
    InTRovErT34, slant and Sandie33 like this.
  2. ruji

    ruji Well-known member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2009
    Threads:
    29
    Messages:
    17,147
    Featured Threads:
    4
    Likes Received:
    54,085
    Trophy Points:
    3,257
    MBTI:
    .
    Fake people are minions. Just like the dead, they can easily be controlled. Their highly influenced desires are simplistic and can be used to bait them.

    [​IMG]


    I hope you understand
     
    InTRovErT34, Wyote, flower and 8 others like this.
  3. Jet

    Jet The Token Extravert

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2016
    Threads:
    4
    Messages:
    2,447
    Likes Received:
    9,905
    Trophy Points:
    754
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Mongolia
    MBTI:
    ENTJ
    Enneagram:
    3w2
    Fake like robots?

    Even liars and the like are people. If they want to exist in their own version of reality why should I care. I treat them the same as I do most everyone.

    I don't trust or enable most "real" people ... calling someone on their BS usually serves no purpose but to create further drama.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  4. James

    James Infamy, infamy.. they've all got it infamy
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2009
    Threads:
    121
    Messages:
    5,561
    Featured Threads:
    8
    Likes Received:
    21,568
    Trophy Points:
    3,498
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    I avoid negative people where possible, and occasionally call them on their b.s. if necessary. I try where possible to connect and influence them, to try to improve those relations, especially if it's an ongoing relationship. Like all things, you are spending your most valuable possession, your time. Some people are worth spending a great deal on, depending on what they mean to you. Others, maybe like those you describe, are not. It's our life/time, how we spend it, is up to each of us individually.
     
  5. ruji

    ruji Well-known member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2009
    Threads:
    29
    Messages:
    17,147
    Featured Threads:
    4
    Likes Received:
    54,085
    Trophy Points:
    3,257
    MBTI:
    .
    Yeah. It's self-gratifying to do that. All it says is "I can tell you're a liar because I'm smart!"

    It's always better when you play dumb because people switch tactics when they know you're on to them.
     
    InTRovErT34, Wyote, Bellosome and 3 others like this.
  6. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Threads:
    76
    Messages:
    6,565
    Featured Threads:
    23
    Likes Received:
    38,744
    Trophy Points:
    1,956
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    5
    I have nothing to do with fake people. I don't like them, they figure that out about me. Done.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  7. hn87c901

    Banned

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2016
    Threads:
    13
    Messages:
    1,354
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    5,303
    Trophy Points:
    769
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Here and There
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    9w1
    I avoid fake people.
    I don't dislike them, it's just that I get bored really easily around them and find myself going into my own little dream world about how beautiful the big trees in Avatar were.
    So it's best just to avoid.
     
    #7 hn87c901, Oct 31, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2016
    InTRovErT34, koizora, flower and 4 others like this.
  8. Jet

    Jet The Token Extravert

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2016
    Threads:
    4
    Messages:
    2,447
    Likes Received:
    9,905
    Trophy Points:
    754
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Mongolia
    MBTI:
    ENTJ
    Enneagram:
    3w2
    Let's be honest here ... I can't be the only one who has ever been a "fake" person at some point or another...

    The vast majority of the time, who I am is none of your business. If I want to make up some easy palatable lies about who I am to make my life easier and make you more comfortable/less curious about me ... I will do it. Not all fakeness is malicious. Maybe I need that lie to help get me through the day. You have no idea who I am or what I am dealing with so if I am fake with you shouldn't the question be, what is it about you that makes me unable to be the real me around you?

    (all yous general)
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  9. ruji

    ruji Well-known member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2009
    Threads:
    29
    Messages:
    17,147
    Featured Threads:
    4
    Likes Received:
    54,085
    Trophy Points:
    3,257
    MBTI:
    .
    I'm very often fake in response to people. It's simply a matter of going with the flow because I feel many people don't deserve the extra effort it takes to deal with their personality in any real way.
     
    InTRovErT34, Wyote, Vicarious and 7 others like this.
  10. Jet

    Jet The Token Extravert

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2016
    Threads:
    4
    Messages:
    2,447
    Likes Received:
    9,905
    Trophy Points:
    754
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Mongolia
    MBTI:
    ENTJ
    Enneagram:
    3w2
    Let me get real for a minute. I have to be more fake with most of my extended family than I do even my coworkers. I told my mother I wasn't Christian and the poor woman is still upset. If they knew the extent of how abusive my marriage was, if they knew what a hellish time I've had of it this past year, if they knew that I was on medication for my anxiety ... yeah not going to even go there.

    How does me being fake with them hurt them in anyway? I deeply love what few people I have in my life and to ensure that I keep most of them in my life I have to be fake to some extent.

    IDK ... maybe I'm not looking at this in the way the OP intended ...
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  11. sassafras

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2009
    Threads:
    173
    Messages:
    14,466
    Featured Threads:
    8
    Likes Received:
    44,512
    Trophy Points:
    2,376
    MBTI:
    .
    Mmm. Agree with the posters above me.

    How do you determine someone is being 'fake,' anyway? Your beliefs and perspectives about yourself and others can be very limiting and you may incorrectly assume that someone is being fake when they're really being genuine.

    Extroverted and/or cheerful, optimistic people get this a lot. There's this automatic assumption that you're either an airhead or you're faking it; no one can be that happy and outgoing unless they're putting on airs.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  12. Morgenstern36

    Morgenstern36 Regular Poster

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2016
    Threads:
    4
    Messages:
    67
    Likes Received:
    253
    Trophy Points:
    369
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    Infj
    I roll my eyes then avoid them like the plague. Then I stay up at night thinking about how much I dislike them and wonder if they actually think they fooling anyone.
     
  13. Milktoast Bandit

    Milktoast Bandit Dominate with compassion...

    Joined:
    May 2, 2016
    Threads:
    90
    Messages:
    10,371
    Featured Threads:
    6
    Likes Received:
    49,168
    Trophy Points:
    4,385
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    MEAT
    Enneagram:
    9
    I just let people be.

    And talk about them behind their backs.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    flower, dang, Bellosome and 3 others like this.
  14. Littlelissa

    Littlelissa Well-known member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2016
    Threads:
    21
    Messages:
    4,232
    Featured Threads:
    6
    Likes Received:
    14,023
    Trophy Points:
    1,831
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4w3
    This is true. I think it also depends on a persons motivation, how much fakeness you can tolerate in someone. e.g. they have O.K. intentions really but just express themselves in a fake way. Maybe they don't really know themselves very well and want to be liked. I think it's harder to tolerate when it's obviously made up and it's clear that the person doesn't have a great deal of personal integrity, e.g. fakeness used to get their own way, manipulate or get ahead somehow.

    In either case probably in most cases not worth calling someone out on - unless you know them, or are personally invested somehow. Best to notice and ignore otherwise.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    InTRovErT34, Bellosome, James and 2 others like this.
  15. Littlelissa

    Littlelissa Well-known member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2016
    Threads:
    21
    Messages:
    4,232
    Featured Threads:
    6
    Likes Received:
    14,023
    Trophy Points:
    1,831
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4w3
    I can also understand this response for simplicities sake.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Jet, Bellosome, James and 3 others like this.
  16. ruji

    ruji Well-known member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2009
    Threads:
    29
    Messages:
    17,147
    Featured Threads:
    4
    Likes Received:
    54,085
    Trophy Points:
    3,257
    MBTI:
    .
    I think there is a difference between what's fake and the lowest common denominator of communication we are subjected to because of our large range of differences.
     
    PintoBean, Jet, Asa and 5 others like this.
  17. Littlelissa

    Littlelissa Well-known member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2016
    Threads:
    21
    Messages:
    4,232
    Featured Threads:
    6
    Likes Received:
    14,023
    Trophy Points:
    1,831
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4w3
    Like saying the people we resonate with more are more likely to appear genuine (to us).
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  18. Peppermint

    Peppermint Well-known member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2009
    Threads:
    27
    Messages:
    3,827
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    8,785
    Trophy Points:
    877
    MBTI:
    uwot
    Enneagram:
    _
    I don't "deal" with them. Internally I will roll my eyes but most of the time I will ignore them, unless their bullshit is affecting me somehow.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Bellosome, James and hn87c901 like this.
  19. ruji

    ruji Well-known member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2009
    Threads:
    29
    Messages:
    17,147
    Featured Threads:
    4
    Likes Received:
    54,085
    Trophy Points:
    3,257
    MBTI:
    .
    I'm not saying that. I'm saying because we're all different, we have to restrict what we say to strangers to something that's common among most of us.
     
    Jet, Bellosome, sassafras and 2 others like this.
  20. ruji

    ruji Well-known member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2009
    Threads:
    29
    Messages:
    17,147
    Featured Threads:
    4
    Likes Received:
    54,085
    Trophy Points:
    3,257
    MBTI:
    .
    yesss. YESSS!
    Let their fakeness stay in your heart for years to come!
     
    Morgenstern36, hn87c901 and James like this.
Loading...

Share This Page