How do you deal with fake people?

Artemisia

Artemisia

Community Member
MBTI
INFJ
Do you call them on their bs or let it go? What if they are fake and lie to you all the time? And what if they are family members instead of simply acquaintances or co-workers?
I know how I deal with them but would like to see how others do.
 
Fake people are minions. Just like the dead, they can easily be controlled. Their highly influenced desires are simplistic and can be used to bait them.

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I hope you understand
 
Fake like robots?

Even liars and the like are people. If they want to exist in their own version of reality why should I care. I treat them the same as I do most everyone.

I don't trust or enable most "real" people ... calling someone on their BS usually serves no purpose but to create further drama.
 
Artemisia said:
Do you call them on their bs or let it go? What if they are fake and lie to you all the time? And what if they are family members instead of simply acquaintances or co-workers?
I know how I deal with them but would like to see how others do.
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I avoid negative people where possible, and occasionally call them on their b.s. if necessary. I try where possible to connect and influence them, to try to improve those relations, especially if it's an ongoing relationship. Like all things, you are spending your most valuable possession, your time. Some people are worth spending a great deal on, depending on what they mean to you. Others, maybe like those you describe, are not. It's our life/time, how we spend it, is up to each of us individually.
 
I avoid fake people.
I don't dislike them, it's just that I get bored really easily around them and find myself going into my own little dream world about how beautiful the big trees in Avatar were.
So it's best just to avoid.
 
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Let's be honest here ... I can't be the only one who has ever been a "fake" person at some point or another...

The vast majority of the time, who I am is none of your business. If I want to make up some easy palatable lies about who I am to make my life easier and make you more comfortable/less curious about me ... I will do it. Not all fakeness is malicious. Maybe I need that lie to help get me through the day. You have no idea who I am or what I am dealing with so if I am fake with you shouldn't the question be, what is it about you that makes me unable to be the real me around you?

(all yous general)
 
Artemisia said:
And what if they are family members instead of simply acquaintances or co-workers?
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Let me get real for a minute. I have to be more fake with most of my extended family than I do even my coworkers. I told my mother I wasn't Christian and the poor woman is still upset. If they knew the extent of how abusive my marriage was, if they knew what a hellish time I've had of it this past year, if they knew that I was on medication for my anxiety ... yeah not going to even go there.

How does me being fake with them hurt them in anyway? I deeply love what few people I have in my life and to ensure that I keep most of them in my life I have to be fake to some extent.

IDK ... maybe I'm not looking at this in the way the OP intended ...
 
Mmm. Agree with the posters above me.

How do you determine someone is being 'fake,' anyway? Your beliefs and perspectives about yourself and others can be very limiting and you may incorrectly assume that someone is being fake when they're really being genuine.

Extroverted and/or cheerful, optimistic people get this a lot. There's this automatic assumption that you're either an airhead or you're faking it; no one can be that happy and outgoing unless they're putting on airs.
 
Jet said:
calling someone on their BS usually serves no purpose but to create further drama.
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This is true. I think it also depends on a persons motivation, how much fakeness you can tolerate in someone. e.g. they have O.K. intentions really but just express themselves in a fake way. Maybe they don't really know themselves very well and want to be liked. I think it's harder to tolerate when it's obviously made up and it's clear that the person doesn't have a great deal of personal integrity, e.g. fakeness used to get their own way, manipulate or get ahead somehow.

In either case probably in most cases not worth calling someone out on - unless you know them, or are personally invested somehow. Best to notice and ignore otherwise.
 
ruji said:
I'm very often fake in response to people. It's simply a matter of going with the flow because I feel many people don't deserve the extra effort it takes to deal with their personality in any real way.
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I can also understand this response for simplicities sake.
 
ruji said:
I think there is a difference between what's fake and the lowest common denominator of communication we are subjected to because of our large range of differences
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Like saying the people we resonate with more are more likely to appear genuine (to us).
 
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