[INFJ] Help needed: how to approach an INFJ?
- Thread starter INTP user
- Start date
Good that I'm not the only one who had a bad feeling about this. I'm not (the only one) imagining things, yey!
Seems like a lot of effort to me.
WonkyOracle
Permanent Fixture
Aye, it's a lot easier to say hello and take it from there.
We tried that, but it doesn't seem to be farsighted enough.
Indeed. Words are a great way, some would say the ideal way, to communicate.
WonkyOracle
Permanent Fixture
???
Meant more like, down the road, ... memory lane in the other direction.
WonkyOracle
Permanent Fixture
I'm relieved the words "chloroform" and "conspicuous white van" weren't listed
For heavens sake, just have a normal conversation with the girl and respect personal boundaries.
I see that I need to remind of what I have written in the beginning. I am not seeing her every day or even every week, not even once a month. I can just guess (I see some patterns 
) that I will be able to talk to her in two weeks. Everything is planned, now I can only wait.
My only question was if it is a good idea to talk to her around her friends. Now I guess it is not that bad.
) that I will be able to talk to her in two weeks. Everything is planned, now I can only wait.My only question was if it is a good idea to talk to her around her friends. Now I guess it is not that bad.
The main question - is this a good idea?
Look at her to make eye contact and take her from her friends. By grabbing I meant that I will e.g. [gently] grab her hand move her away. Nothing unexpected. Same situation for me would be a little uncomfortable for my younger self. There is some kind of pressure (presence of friends) hard to avoid.
Talking shouldn't be hard as there is always some chemistry within INTP and INFJ. Also if she is interested it is also her job
Thanks, I will print two copies of hug permission form =)
I have to clarify what I meant in the beginning. As for me if I developed attraction [i suppose] I am ready for hugs. Even if I am talking for a first time. However, if you are not close enough - you can even be my sister, it is still not enough - it will make me uncomfortable. I don't like half-hugs, it feels like duty. I am just thinking ahead and wondering how it works for INFJs.
I see that I need to remind of what I have written in the beginning. I am not seeing her every day or even every week, not even once a month. I can just guess (I see some patterns
My only question was if it is a good idea to talk to her around her friends. Now I guess it is not that bad.
So listen...
Your whole approach sounds creepy. Don't touch her, no girl likes that if they don't know you. She'll be stuck with "bad touch" vibes from you and be instantly weirded out. Don't grab her hand, because yours will probably be clammy and gross from how much you've overthought and planned already, anyway. Approach her (and leave room for personal space) and say hey, mind if we talk? If she has any interest it will go from there, if she doesn't give you her attention then she's not interested. And as far as "having it all planned out," if she actually is an infj, it will come across as not an organic conversation and she will read negatively into your scripted convo and actions. Be your weird little self, go have a conversation and try to take it from there.
