''Gaydar''' | INFJ Forum

''Gaydar'''

Raccoon Love

Raccoon Love

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Sep 20, 2009
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Do you believe in a ''Gaydar''. Can you usually more or less sense a person's sexual orientation? Do you look for certain characteristics and behaviors or is this rather based on pure intuition?.

For the gay members here, have you personally detected other gay peers through this sensation?
 
I think I can usually guess whos gay and whos not.
 
Mine's unreliable, but I get a sense beyond a certain point of gayness.

I should point out that it seems completely ineffective for pinpointing gay females.
 
I believe that people can pick up on things about others quite easily (either through stereotypes or "just knowing"), sexuality included. However, going off stereotypes these days is risky, since they're not nearly as true or reliable as they were once made out to be (if they were ever anymore true at all). That's not to say that stereotyping doesn't work sometimes, but I'm sure it can't work all the time.

To the second inquiry, I can usually tell if a man is gay or straight, but I fail at identifying women's sexuality (several funny stories there :m100:). For me, the identification seems to be based on intuition more than trying to pinpoint certain flags.
 
After my best friend came out to me, i started noticing gay people by the way they hold their face, but it's more intuitive for me
 
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Raccoon Love said:
Do you believe in a ''Gaydar''. Can you usually more or less sense a person's sexual orientation? Do you look for certain characteristics and behaviors or is this rather based on pure intuition?.

For the gay members here, have you personally detected other gay peers through this sensation?
Click to expand...

Yes. I tend to notice a ton of characteristics together that tend to make me think someone is gay. I guess it's kind of intuitive but I just notice things together that just give me the vibe that someone might be gay.
 
I am yet to miss a single gay man.


I have missed many a straight man.

:]
 
[quote=N
 
Studies have shown that gaydar can work 60-70% of the time. It's not perfect, but it definitely exists, and there is some truth to the stereotypes of homosexual appearances, especially among men.

Unfortunately, my gaydar apparently sucks. I knew a friend since kindergarten and only found out he was gay well after graduating high school. I'm working on it though! =D
 
Raccoon Love said:
Do you believe in a ''Gaydar''. Can you usually more or less sense a person's sexual orientation? Do you look for certain characteristics and behaviors or is this rather based on pure intuition?.

For the gay members here, have you personally detected other gay peers through this sensation?
Click to expand...

I heard a while ago that based on a study, a majority of people (don't remember the exact percentage) can accurately identify a gay male among a group of randomly selected people.

I'm sure that through careful observation one can often come to some kind of conclusion, but it's not always so obvious. Most of the time when I try to figure out whether or not someone's gay, I look at both observable clues and my own intuition.

I have a feeling that a lot of the clues that point to someone being gay are in the person's subtle body language, or maybe even the look of their face
 
I fail with reading females sexualities. I really just never wonder straight/lesbian when I meet a female. The thought never occurs.

With males, there is hardly one that I know at all well that I haven't at least for a short while "you could be gay." For me, the validity would have to bring time that the belief is held versus actuality. For just plain number suspected, I mistake 95%, but when you bring my measure of validity in, I'm pretty damn good 9couldn't give a number, as the math is too hard).
 
My gaydar works only when you see the obvious traits in the manner of dress and how they hold themselves otherwise I am clueless and I am gay so yeah. I am fem and you cannot tell when you meet in person, fellow gays have to actually ask me if I am gay :D
 
dark_angel said:
My gaydar works only when you see the obvious traits in the manner of dress and how they hold themselves otherwise I am clueless and I am gay so yeah. I am fem and you cannot tell when you meet in person, fellow gays have to actually ask me if I am gay :D
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Well it's also sometimes hard to say. I mean, Ira Glass (for those who know who he is) has a lisp, but he is not gay. I knew a few people who "sound gay" but are not. But yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes it's very obvious, but the ones who are tricky to tell are more fun, don't you think? :rofl:

I don't think I fit a single stereotype of someone who is gay. In fact, I find myself to be very much the opposite. It wasn't really "confirmed" as being gay to one of my straight male friends at school until last spring. I'm actually surprised he didn't already know since we'd been in the same classes for 2-3 semesters. He and a mutual female friend of ours were talking and she had said something that referenced my being gay. According to her, he said something to the effect of "Oh he's gay? I always kind of knew...but now that you confirmed it's still kind of surprising." When she told me this, I was surprised that he was surprised.

I only felt like he already knew because of the nature of my school (Fashion Institute of Technology) there is an very low ratio of males to females (something like 1 male for ever 198 females). And within the male demographic there is a very unbalanced number of gay males compared to average. I know that all the guys in a class know who's gay and who's straight or bi. But apparently, at least with this straight male friend of mine, he didn't know for sure. Frankly, he doesn't really seem to give a shat about any of it.
 
My current and last 2 roommates have all been gay, and I have close gay male friends. I'm what you would call a "fag hag" aka a straight girl who hangs out with all gay guys lol. I am pretty good at spotting both gay men and women.

I don't know if there's actually gaydar though. When I determine whether or not I think someone is gay it's based on subtle (or sometimes not so subtle) mannerisms and behaviours. It's in the way they walk, the way they talk, the way they interact with other people and generally how they carry themselves overall. Sometimes it's not obvious right away, but after observing someone for some time, I can usually make a pretty accurate guess.
 
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sandra_b said:
My current and last 2 roommates have all been gay, and I have close gay male friends. I'm what you would call a "fag hag" aka a straight girl who hangs out with all gay guys lol. I am pretty good at spotting both gay men and women.

I don't know if there's actually gaydar though. When I determine whether or not I think someone is gay it's based on subtle (or sometimes not so subtle) mannerisms and behaviours. It's in the way they walk, the way they talk, the way they interact with other people and generally how they carry themselves overall. Sometimes it's not obvious right away, but after observing someone for some time, I can usually make a pretty accurate guess.
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What if one does not fit the norm that is expected by the role playing of the gay community? How do you spot that? eg: I look, talk, walk and act like a heterosexual woman but am not...?? (I would be classifed as a fem lesbian or a lipstick lesbian...personally hate the word lesbian and "lipstick lesbian" but that term would be the easiest for the straight community to understand I think)
 
dark_angel said:
What if one does not fit the norm that is expected by the role playing of the gay community? How do you spot that? eg: I look, talk, walk and act like a heterosexual woman but am not...?? (I would be classifed as a fem lesbian or a lipstick lesbian...personally hate the word lesbian and "lipstick lesbian" but that term would be the easiest for the straight community to understand I think)
Click to expand...

I am not even sure I could explain it. I guess it's just pure intuition when it comes to women. Sometimes it's incredibly difficult to spot and I just go on gut instinct rather than what I observe. That being said, my encounters with gay women are muuuuuch fewer than they are with gay men so perhaps I was just lucky lol.
 
sandra_b said:
I am not even sure I could explain it. I guess it's just pure intuition when it comes to women. Sometimes it's incredibly difficult to spot and I just go on gut instinct rather than what I observe. That being said, my encounters with gay women are muuuuuch fewer than they are with gay men so perhaps I was just lucky lol.
Click to expand...

Oooh... please do share stories about your... encounters... with gay women.
 
sandra_b said:
I am not even sure I could explain it. I guess it's just pure intuition when it comes to women. Sometimes it's incredibly difficult to spot and I just go on gut instinct rather than what I observe. That being said, my encounters with gay women are muuuuuch fewer than they are with gay men so perhaps I was just lucky lol.
Click to expand...
I can tell a lot about people from my intuition alone but I have also learnt that intuition is not always truth...there are way too many exceptions to the rule for it to be always truth. Now I do acknowledge that strong gut feeling one sometimes gets (and can be so random) which for me is something I cannot explain but it is not the same as intuition. I have been out the closest since 15 and am now 35 so I am very comfortable in my gay skin and the gay community and let me tell you there are times when I am chatting to a seemingly heterosexual woman and the only idea I get she is gay is when she makes a pass at me and she only felt comfortable making a pass at me, she would later admit, because I had mentioned I had seen a hot woman yesterday for example. :noidea:
 
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