"For every good thing an INFJ can do, s/he can think of seven more reasons to not do it" | INFJ Forum

"For every good thing an INFJ can do, s/he can think of seven more reasons to not do it"


Midnight's Garden
Nov 1, 2008
This was a quote I ran across yesterday on another forum, and honestly, it kinda struck a chord with me, I do this all the time. I'll be utterly convinced that I want to do something and then little bits of doubt starts to invade my mind, and inevitably, I'll convince myself to not do something that might be completely beneficial to me. What can I do to avoid this type of negative behavior?

Bonus question since I don't feel like making another topic: How do I live in the moment more? I do realize I can both study the world and live in it at the same time, but somehow I tend to avoid 'living in the moment' especially in relationships, or things that could flourish into a relationship.
I do a lot of second guessing myself, but can close my eyes and leap never knowing if it was really right when push comes to shove.

I can best live in the moment when I sit quietly surrounded by beauty and let in all pour into me. I lose track of where I end and the world begins. It's almost impossible to do when stressed. It requires quiet and inner peace.
It's always a struggle for me to be in the moment. If you find the answer to that one let me know!
Oh yes I too suffer from this. I talk myself out of all kinds of things. I may have delusions of grandeur in my head but I don't let them into the world freely.I will get to a certain point and then stop. And I am finding that if I am not inspired it's not worth the hassle. I tend to think we may be way too hard on ourselves and we all need to lighten up a little. Just think about how cautious you are as a person compared to the average guy who walks around like he has no cares in the world. It takes baby steps but you can get yourself to a point that you will let your guard down. And over time you may even forget your worries. It's a process that I go threw and have accepted will always be a challenge to overcome for me. We see things that are not always obvious to others so that works against us also.
Haha, oh this is very much me.

I do have moments though, that for seemingly no reason, I will light a fire under my ass and get things to move forward.
Yes, I love those ass firing times! LOL
Yes, I love those ass firing times! LOL

Me too! I can be superman, if only for short periods of time, but it's really amazing what I can achieve during such moments of superpower. Eg. single handedly lifting a heavy metal framed sofa bed and moving it from one room to another, which required turning it on one end, lifting it over a flight of stairs and righting it again in the other room. I had flu at the time too. LOL
"For every good thing an INFJ can do, s/he can think of seven more reasons to not do it"

The thing is you can basically say that about anything opinion oriented.

You have to accept that what you're doing much not make a noticeable difference, that others might not appreciate it, and that you might not get much out of doing it, at least in terms of possessions. In other words, you have to do something because you love doing it and feel it is right, not because you want to satisfy your ego's desires.

To live in the moment, you need to figure out who you are and what you want, and then decide if that is the course of action you wish to pursue. If you are always caught in a self-contradiction, you will always be reflective in moments that you should be experiencing. That is because you are not sure whether you want to accept them, so if you can accept them, then the reflection will go away, and you'll be fully absorbed into them.
That definitely strikes a chord with me too. I hope you are able to find the answer. I have had things I want to do, but I talked my way out of them out of fear, or just being overwhelmed.

I am trying to learn how to overcome the fear and realize that sometimes, you have to take a step of faith. Another thing that might help, especially for people with a high J, is to develop a plan and a time frame, to break the plan down into small, baby steps. A lot of the obstacles seem overwhelming at once, but dealing with them one at a time is more manageable.
I do this, on occasion, but I think I'm maturing out of it, maybe, or at least learning how to trick myself into following through. I'm usually very pleased with the end product of whatever I'm doing, so I'm finding it freeing to push through the depressing doubts and just go for it! :mhula:
I feel compleatly diffrently. For every good thing I can do, I think of seven more ways to do it better!
Pretty much, I think

"Maybe I should give that girl a tip. I don't have enough money. Eh, screw her...she wasn't that great anyway."
This unfortunately happens to me most of the time when i'm thinking of contacting a friend or likewise over the phone, sms, or internet. In fact, it happened just then.

I decided to ring a friend last night to organise something to do like hanging out, so I was thinking, 'ok, I'm going to do this definitely at 11:15am tomorrow', so come 11am, and I start thinking of alternative things to do instead of calling, but eventually i remembered this thread, and a few quotes that Steve Jobs said at a graduation ceremony. The quotes were:

"If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something."

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life"

Eventually, after about 30 minutes, i got the courage to ring and it rang for a few cycles and then went to an unavailable voice mail message, "04xxxxxxxx is unavailable at the moment..." So i left a really bad voice mail (as I'm sick at the moment :mill:, so it sounded like i was depressed, which is bad for me, but ah well) and now i'm not really sure if the other person just pressed the 'ignore'/'busy' button on their phone or it just went quickly to voicemail, so yeah... :m125:

I just hope they reply, if not... :m068:
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This is me about sixty to eighty percent of the time. The rest of it is me trying to be impulsive to counteract it, sometimes with good results, sometimes not.

I know it seems to everyone else that I'm seriously thinking about things all the time, but honestly I'm more lucidly dreaming or letting possibilities play out in my head. Like rehearsing future or hypothetical conversations...