Feeling Nothing

Sounds like depression. [/obvious]

 

I feel like that all the time

 

It's normal, I don't know why you're feeling this way, but it's normal.

 

Not really, there's a reason you're feeling this way I imagine, maybe somethings happened, or maybe too much of nothings happened.

 

Well it doesn't come across as a blabbering idiot story that's for sure.
You might be in a transitionary state right now making you feel like you have no personality. It's wonderful that you smile and even laugh as you sleep! Perhaps your true personality comes out in your sleep because there, there is no fear of being yourself.
You're in a minority except the majority doesn't see it like that. They think we are 'different' 'weird' 'odd' and even 'strange' - Their misunderstanding causes us to withdraw and hide and protect our personalities even more.
The whole thing is a balancing act. We need to stand up for ourselves, set and enforce personal boundaries, know our limitations and work on improving ourselves so that we can fit in socially, to a comfortable point, albeit maintaining our privacy.
It's trial and error for a long time but you'll learn over time what works best for you.
You do have a personality and a good one, it's just not been appreciated and you're not appreciating it right now either.
You'll get there, don't worry. What you are worrying about today won't bother you in the near future.

 

"What you are worrying about today won't bother you in the near future".

Thats A rather good piece of advice.!

 

... because you'll be dead.

 

We don't die. We transition to another reality.

 

I feel much the way you describe a great deal of the time lately (past few years since my mother died).

It's not exactly what I hoped for when I began training myself to control the violent pendulum swings of emotion I used to experience. I hoped for balance and contentment; sometimes it feels more like apathy. But I do find it preferable to the extreme states of despair and frustration that used to afflict me.

It's a state that gets old, and I'd like to get myself out of it, but it's a difficult state to extract yourself from.

 

sounds like depression to me. But then, who am I to talk? My emotions (happy, sad, scared, curious, angry, ALL of them) are so intense that I can't function normally without medication to mello them out, and even still some people think I'm too intense. But there was a time where I wondered if I could feel, or I'd go though periods where everything just seemed gray and ashy. turned out that I was really super depressed and like a veil that depression had fallen over everything else and blocked it out. all that to say, maybe that's what's going on for you. or it could be a defense mechanism.

 

You know, it is a very apt description of how I felt before I was being treated for depression. I was able to help myself a little with CBT, but it did not last, and my depression was compounded by anxiety. I am not a pill person, but my Dr finally convinced me to try one, and after a couple of tries, we found one that made a big difference for me. I still have my ups and downs, as these are normal, but now they are within normal, livable ranges, and I no longer get that total gray haze feeling. I can function, and live my life most days, which is a huge difference for me.

 

... sounds like Depersoanlization Disorder (DPD) to me...

... i suffer from it sometimes, especially with too much social stimuli...

 

i know the feeling well, and enigma summed it up really good, i was never fond of pills either, but its gets you back on your feet to start moving forward again, they really help especially with depression, and it sounds like you might have some symtoms to of DPD, like what motor jax said but it could be just depression, but you should look into trying some medication, i think it would help you.

 

Hmm - I never knew there was a name for it, MJ: I thought it was "just me." It rarely happens to me now, but it used to happen to me a lot when I was a teen. I didn't feel "real." I felt like I was living in a movie or a dream, but I knew (mentally) I wasn't. Physically I felt detached from my body.

But it would happen to me normally, and I wouldn't be under stress (that I knew of). It happened a lot when I went to see movies. After I came out of the dark theater, I felt like I was still in the theater - or even more so, in the movie itself. I felt like I was another character in the same storyline as the movie.

Yes, I know that sounds crazy.

It hasn't happened to me in a long time, though. I also "knew" I was real - but I had to wait for the feeling to subside before I felt connected again. Sometimes it took days; other times it took hours. But it was always frustrating.