Families | INFJ Forum

Families

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Soulful, Oct 10, 2010.

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  1. Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    Is there really such a thing as a functional family?

    With all the personality differences, expectations, and varying needs that get thrown into the mix, is it possible to have a functional family?

    And to clarify, I don't mean anything specific by the word 'functional', simply the idea of a happy family unit that meets the needs of its members.

    ETA: Is it accurate or inaccurate to say that most people are unhappy within their family? I know those are very general terms, but..

    Other thoughts?
     
    #1 Soulful, Oct 10, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2010
  2. Bird

    Bird Happy Go Lucky

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    Nope.
     
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  3. rawr

    rawr ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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    possible, yes, but rare.
     
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  4. arbygil

    arbygil Passing through

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    I think part of the problem is, no one knows how to be a functional family unit any more. People within families have roles and functions (parents and children) but when those functions become reversed, the family unit breaks down. Children are not capable of being parents, and parents should not place their children in the roles of adults.

    That's my take, anyway.

    ETA: So I'm agreeing with RWIR, in that it's rare to see these days.
     
  5. 894tt3h9

    On Holiday

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    Hmm Yep. I have a very functional family unit. My parents, sister and I work very well together. I've never in my life seen my parents have an argument... not even small disagreements. My sister and I get along very well and we both get along with our parents well. We work very well together.
     
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  6. OP
    Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    @Bird If you don't mind, can you elaborate?

    [MENTION=2240]RememberWhenItRained[/MENTION] So, what's the more likely scenario? Would it be going too far to suggest most people are unhappy with their families?
     
    #6 Soulful, Oct 10, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2010
  7. Odyne

    Odyne ===========
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    Yes, absolutely.

    My family is what you'd describe as functional.

    My parents have been married for 23 years now, we've all been so close, we've cared for each other, and we have pretty solid bonds. We travel together, we all eat dinner at the same table almost every night, and we trust each other more than anybody else.

    Of course, there are no relationships that are free from trouble and arguments, but everything so far have happened for constructive purposes and with the best intentions at heart.

    I don't usually talk about my family to others often, because sadly, a family like this is considered to be a myth these days.
     
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  8. rawr

    rawr ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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    i think that would be fairly accurate. at least, more families would probably be unhappy rather than happy, though there are plenty that are happy.
     
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  9. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    you are incredibly lucky Odyne
     
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  10. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    What is a "family"?

    Congress can't agree on a definition of family. I don't know what one is either. So until that is determined, I can't speculate as to what makes one functional.
     
  11. Matariki

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    Yes and No, it depends on the individual and how they respond towards their siblings, parents, children and spouse and how they respond to their own role as being a member of the family.
    Personality clashes and life's events are inevitable, but it is the way how we overcome them is what makes us who we are.

    My parents have been married for over 30 years and have had 11 children together (younger sister deceased) including myself. Most of us get along despite our personality differences and issues. We have had our arguments and sometimes physical conflicts (I never said we were perfect)
    I consider myself to be blessed to be surrounded by my loving family and I know that we will be together through thick and thin. To be honest my family is far from functional, but somehow we manage to find ways to work together, to make each other stronger and to support each other.
     
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    #11 Matariki, Oct 10, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2010
  12. OP
    Soulful

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  13. Faye

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    I define a family in terms of its functionality I guess, which would mean the members must be mentally, physically, and emotionally fulfilled according to their specific needs.

    Most families wouldn't meet my criteria; although, I have high expectations and would not want to live in most families.
     
  14. KazeCraven

    KazeCraven Graduated from Typology : May 2011
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    I think a functional family happens when parents know how to be exceptional parents for the children they have borne, or when the children go abnormally well together.

    I think it's more common than not to have problems within the family, but unless people lie a whole lot about private family life, plenty have happy families. My own experience... I think my family has problems due to, well... space. Whenever I think of my family I think of each child as having a large bubble of space that we enter into only begrudgingly. I think this has a lot to do with us all being introverted thinkers, except perhaps my little sister, but my brother and I already set the precedent.

    To me, a family falls apart easy because it's as if a newly-wed couple (divorce anyone?) decides to introduce random people into their lives to provide for and nurture. If you don't know how to handle that, things will fall apart.
     
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  15. Gaze

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    Going with a looser definition of functional, from experience i can say it's definitely possible. If all members acknowledge and work to sort out their differences, i think they can be functional, even if they are dysfunctional.
     
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  16. just me

    just me GONE

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    Watched a week-long series on families many moons ago. It is sad when a young daughter starts doing things a drunken mother does not do, but it happens; as with a son and father. Siblings help with those challenged ones they love. People step in and try to help keep things balanced a lot, though it is not sad to me. I see it as an integral part of a good family.

    The example used was a set of chimes with the different chimes representing different family members. One chime was removed and the circle became unbalanced....so true. Then other chimes "reached" across and helped take up the slack while the circle became better balanced.

    Wish I could remember the name of the series....
     
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    #16 just me, Oct 10, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2010
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