Falling in love | INFJ Forum

Falling in love

Julia

Julia

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Apr 21, 2009
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What does the term "falling in love" mean to you. I think its meaning might have changed between different generations, and so I was wondering what are the various ways people relate to that term.

I was a teenager in the 1980's. I always thought it implied something life-altering. I don't associate that term with infatuation, but with profound love. I would say I have only fallen in love twice in my life. If I tell someone I am falling in love with them, it implies everything best associated with the term, love. I recently learned that most people think it means infatuation and is not related to love. I think the definition changed.

What is your understanding of the phrase?
 
That would be my definition. That would also be the problem. Society is so screwed up that they think they are in love with one person and a month later with another and so on.
 
darkstar said:
That would be my definition. That would also be the problem. Society is so screwed up that they think they are in love with one person and a month later with another and so on.
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Amen to that :m107:
 
Falling in love is a chemical thing. Lasting love is what you discover after you've fallen in love and it's stuck around for quite a long while.

That's why people fall in love a lot, it's a chemistry thing.
 
It means nothing. Basically chemicals (as was mentioned).

Anyway, nobody ever falls in love with anybody else. People fall in love with the expectation of pleasant things they believe their object will provide for them. Basically, people fall in love with the way other people make them feel.
 
It means you were brave or foolish enough to allow someone inside your heart.
 
what alt ctrl del mentioned is something i've been pondering about a lot lately.

i still don't quite understand whether it is the person i fell in love with or an ideal/image i conjured from my unconscious of which i associated with that person because i saw in him/her an actual manifestation of those desires.

there lies also a much deeper feeling that buds at the beginning, but can only grow as the earlier feelings of infatuation gradually cease (cease because they aren't grounded upon actuality).

it is the whole wanting of them to be happy and safe and is the closest feeling to selfless i have experienced until now. i would say it resembles more acceptance than expectations, more a prayer than a desire.
 
alt ctrl del said:
It means nothing. Basically chemicals (as was mentioned).

Anyway, nobody ever falls in love with anybody else. People fall in love with the expectation of pleasant things they believe their object will provide for them. Basically, people fall in love with the way other people make them feel.
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I fall in love with people that I've never met nor will ever meet. It sure isn't a feeling they give me. I love them for who they are and expect nothing in return. But like I've said before, maybe i'm just strange
 
For me it's a language barrier thing. In dutch you actually have two different ways to express infatuation and love that translate mostly into "I'm in love" and "I love you" in english, and I've noticed there's little semantic difference between those two in english.

In dutch however being "in love" is being "verliefd", which is definitely interpreted as being several orders less weighty than telling someone "I love you" which translates to "ik hou van jou".
 
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Eniko said:
For me it's a language barrier thing. In dutch you actually have two different ways to express infatuation and love that translate mostly into "I'm in love" and "I love you" in english, and I've noticed there's little semantic difference between those two in english.

In dutch however being "in love" is being "verliefd", which is definitely interpreted as being several orders less weighty than telling someone "I love you" which translated to "ik hou van jou".
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This.

I'm also dutch.


I haven't got the right words for an adequate description.
but I would say, starting to love a person for who he/she really is.
 
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