Extreme Fear of Being Known | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Extreme Fear of Being Known

I know, its more of the fact that I will garner disapproval from them that I can't stand, they are all vehemently anti tea party. I mean, its not even *my beliefs* but I'm saying they are mine. idk. its complicated. I think i'm going to bs it since all this political correctness has entered the public schools I can't get less than a D on the assignment if I go up there :)
 
what's making you say that then? were there other options for your speech and for some reason you chose to do this, or is this a topic you're stuck with?
 
Well, in the beginning of the semester we had to choose an organization, and write 5 papers (and a speech) about it.


the ONLY reason I chose the Tea Party, is because for three of our papers we had to interview members of our organization. If I chose the tea Party, I could just interview my family members, who are members of the Tea Party. It made this semester really easy, this is the only hard part I didn't foreseee. I need to be interested in something to be creative about it. I find politics droll and boring.
 
and does it absolutely have to be a pro-tea party speech?

Perhaps go to your teacher and ask if you can instead do an anti-tea party speech based on your researching the topic?
 
saru said:
I've not written my speech, I'm too nervous as to what I know they are going to say, to even know where to start.


and i hate the tea party.
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Come on that's great though!!
You are playing Devil's Advocate with yourself.. gotta respect that.
It's how great thinkers and rhetoricians are formed.
The ability to understand and even defend what you disagree with makes for a strong mind.


I wish I knew what to tell you in regards to overcoming your fear of public speaking.
I'm a very shy person myself.. but I am ok with public speaking because I feel I'm not revealing myself, but rather information.
I dissipate and the content is what comes to the foreground.

Your classmates would be a bunch of yokels to despise you for such a speech..
Everyone knows speeches are meant to be persuasive and the best way to strengthen your persuasive skills to be able to play Devil's Advocate with yourself as I mentioned.
If you were to play it off like you don't care, make it known that you picked this topic just because you disagree with it.. you may earn some props!
 
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Again, this isn't so much as a fear of public speaking. The human psyche is naturally conditioned against public speaking to begin with, so thats a given.


This is a fear of being known, inside, outside, and all the inbetweens.
 
How are you being known?
You're giving a speech on something you don't even believe in.
 
i can't really explain it.
 
Fear of being acknowledged?
Or associated with unpopular ideas?

I don't think you should risk your grade on this possibility that you might piss some people off.

Most likely, your classmates are going to be so nervous about THEIR speeches they won't even be listening to yours.
 
Fear of the unknown.
 
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saru said:
And no, Donkeybals. I don't care if I get a 0 in one speech, in one english class, in a community college in redneck virginia.
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That implies there is a non-redneck virginia :md: Kidding of course.

I can relate about not wanting to be known. Whenever I had to give a speech for class, I always did as generic a topic as I could think of so no one could really identify me as anything particularly special. The same thing goes for how I dress and talk. I really don't have too much of a desire for people to know the real me because every time I've tried being myself, people have explicitly expressed a hate for what I am and how I think. Because of their screw-up, I won't even bother with the rest.
 
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I have a fear of not giving out advice. So in that vein you should skip class.
 
saru said:
all the inbetweens.
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SILVERSUN PICKUPS REFERENCE.


and i think i know what you mean in regards to a fear of being known. but i have no advice.
 
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although i have got a lot more confident in the last year or so i have always hated approaching people and dealing with people and having to ask for things and so on. i always felt very shy and embarrassed and inferior.
 
oh, so like I got my grade back today for the oral. I got 7 points off, because I seemed "way too nervous. excellent speech otherwise." bah.


and i got a 98 on my research paper. "Well-written and nicely researched"

I got two points off, one because I had a cover page (apparently I wasn't supposed to), and the FONT on my LAST NAME in the UPPER RIGHT CORNER was wrong. LOL.


funniest thing is, I've bs'd this entire class. The teacher said in order to get an A, I have to get at least a 40 on the final exam. LOL. She said "look, just turn in 5 paragraphs of crap with no grammatical errors or mla errors, and thats at least a 50." lold.


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Btw, the reason I essentially closed down this topic was not because I didn't want advice or anthing. It was because I simply wanted to discuss whether the extreme fear of attention was an INFJ think, an XXXJ thing, an IXXJ thing etc. And this was just too off topic for me.
 
saru said:
oh, so like I got my grade back today for the oral. I got 7 points off, because I seemed "way too nervous. excellent speech otherwise." bah.


and i got a 98 on my research paper. "Well-written and nicely researched"

I got two points off, one because I had a cover page (apparently I wasn't supposed to), and the FONT on my LAST NAME in the UPPER RIGHT CORNER was wrong. LOL.


funniest thing is, I've bs'd this entire class. The teacher said in order to get an A, I have to get at least a 40 on the final exam. LOL. She said "look, just turn in 5 paragraphs of crap with no grammatical errors or mla errors, and thats at least a 50." lold.


---

Btw, the reason I essentially closed down this topic was not because I didn't want advice or anthing. It was because I simply wanted to discuss whether the extreme fear of attention was an INFJ think, an XXXJ thing, an IXXJ thing etc. And this was just too off topic for me.
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What is your enneagram [MENTION=3156]saru[/MENTION]? I think that might be make it easier to see, and also would you consider yourself generally shy? I know you're an introvert but do you have any kind of social anxiety or fears of how you may come across (these are things I personally can relate to).

I would say for me personally I don't exactly have a fear of being known. In fact I would say I almost have a fear of dying unknown.

However, I do have a fear of being misrepresented or seen in the "wrong" light. I'd like to be known but I would like to be known for my strong integrity, my discipline, and my hard work.
 
Yes I have a fear of being known...I don't know how to explain it. I think it's the fear that if I put too much of myself out there, a lot of it could be misinterpreted and used against me when I myself didn't really understand what images I was projecting or what I really meant by it. Maybe I just wanted to see what the reaction would be and others take it seriously, which is upsetting. Then I spend too much energy trying to defend myself against others' false accusations and feel trapped inside their false image of me and it clouds the purity of my vision. Or maybe I was expressing a subconscious desire or part of myself I wasn't truly aware of and didn't want others to see. Sometimes what you hide the most from yourself is blatantly obvious to other people, and sometimes I don't want to see what they see in me. Or....maybe it's all of those things at once...
 
Yes. My fear is extreme of being "Known" if only in the idea of it.....being an introvert, and a person of emotion, and constantly changing perspectives, it's hard to get to "know" me, but rather easier to get a "feel" for me....extroverts tend to have "expectations" of people that don't change....they almost "expect" you to stay the same, because they usually do because they tend to value the "third party perspective" before they consider (even if they have one) their "pivotal personal opinion" and acting on it....they tend to talk their way through things, but introverts tend to think and reflect on information that tends to change internal values, and perspectives on a situation....extroverts usually need to "share" what they experience with others before they make sense of or grasp the situation on a subjective level which I never understood because I consider the effect of the situation on myself first, and then others....any way, I noticed that they can COMPLETELY misinterpret social subtext, innuendo, and sardonic retorts....I never really found that to be too interesting

Basically it's frightening to know that people know how you work, because you're at the mercy other their kindness....OR their cruelty......
 
[MENTION=3156]saru[/MENTION] I DO have a fear of being known, unknown & OF the unknown. I think these are common among our type.
 
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