Extreme difficulty with conformity?

Darc

Darc

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I made another thread, but I realized I wrote way too much again.

I was wondering if anyone else has any trouble with conformity? I've always been it would seem (for good or bad) an innately 'rebellious' person, and I have gone to extreme length's to disobey authority, or any demand and impetus placed on me that did not feel okay with my inner self. But lately, I am starting to see just how much I fall short of expected expected requirements for social behavior but often I feel this extreme sense of inner resistance and then in a sense 'acting' too much socially (except for certain exceptions) really unnatural to me, not to mention it produces this great sense of displeasure and I find that I have a really, really difficult time with it.

I would rather almost have most people dislike me then not. I of course have put effort into meeting some expectation for manners, but often times it seems it feels there is this rigid and unyielding expectation to conform exactly to those around you. It in all honestly just seems insane to me, I can't handle it.
 
I hear what you're saying. For better or worse "fitting in" to some extent is part and parcel to existing in society. Over time I have learned to temper my innate rebellious streak and disagreement with certain rules, because going with the established flow simply makes my life less complicated. And yes, that often means having to "act" or not quite be myself in order to get along. It sucks, but taking the larger picture into account I feel it's worth it.
 
infinite dreams said:
I hear what you're saying. For better or worse "fitting in" to some extent is part and parcel to existing in society. Over time I have learned to temper my innate rebellious streak and disagreement with certain rules, because going with the established flow simply makes my life less complicated. And yes, that often means having to "act" or not quite be myself in order to get along. It sucks, but taking the larger picture into account I feel it's worth it.
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Yes but it's not just a little, I just mean that it seems one must do this completely, and that to me seems somewhat insane. I don't know if it's always been this way or not, though such attempts to question or escape these things has been often described as a dead end road that doesn't lead anywhere. I almost think I would be better working in the trades though, because it seems that they are much more allowed to be themselves, wherein in many white collar world, I find that the pressure to conform is even more extreme; or at least to standards that don't feel natural or comfortable to me.

I really think that individual rights, and self expression is something that I feel passionate about trying to make more acceptable, and I do not see why, with it now being more acceptable to be transgendered amongst many other things. I just do not understand why so much of the population seemingly hates self expression or even to a degree, individual thought. It's interesting though, some study has been put into this matter, it's believed that (again,big business having absolute say in public life) has been to blame for this trend though, as they started to prefer certain personality types more (jovial, extroverted etc) and eventually most employees were then encouraged to likewise act this way as well.

I just think of things like even Ninja Turtles too (because it's a child's cartoon that has been around so long) so a lot of people are familiar and grew up with them. Anyway, even though they all look the same, they all have discernible or distinct personalities. They do not go out of their way to really define or make it apparent, but the differences are there. And it just seems silly to me, but we cannot even have personalities anymore. It's just like :astonished:
(everyone is out to get you suburbanites!)

Uuuuuuugggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Pirates.
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All of your threads read like something I would have written as a 17 year old. Are you in some sort of arrested development? Do you still live at home with your parents? Do you work?
 
acd said:
All of your threads read like something I would have written as a 17 year old. Are you in some sort of arrested development? Do you still live at home with your parents? Do you work?
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Where do you get off insulting people so much?


So again, it's individuals like you who act as proponents for the left but yet in actions and behavior it seems nothing of the sort. Hey, where's the tolerance guys? oh yeah sure, we bring out the water works, for all of the feminists, gay and transgendered people, but when it comes to "individual rights" "human rights" they aren't even a blip on the radar, are they?
I mean seriously, how many times do we have to hear about butt hurt feminists and gay people moan and bitch about how misunderstood and hard it is for them?

You do realize that these concepts exist and originate (such as social conformity) from a long line of philosophical thought and theories, are you correct? I mean holy fuck, it's not my fault that the majority of the populous would rather feign complete ignorance to any long standing tradition or history of intellectual works that have come before us and instead live in a bland and mindless reality that has been created by the states and large corporations to produce states of passivity, and so the masses can live in a state of self imposed ignorance and complete obliviousness.


I mean the fact that topics like these cannot even be acknowledged if not confront such topics says a profound amount about are society. I mean, the fact that some people can go through their lives with proverbially no sense of self or inner urgency to become self actualized, and seek self determinism is beyond difficult for me to fathom or comprehend. I mean, holy fuck, what this says about you, as an individual.

Surely it denotes qualities of submissiveness in the very least.
 
Anyway, I think a lot of what I am observing and noticing is predominately what its like in Canada. I think Canada is actually a very repressive society.

I was watching things with regular Americans in it, and a fair portion of them simply just wear plain t-shirts and dress casual even if they are relatively "successful" or maybe it's the same with American's but generally, I feel more comfortable with their version of this.
 
Darc said:
Where do you get off insulting people so much?


So again, it's individuals like you who act as proponents for the left but yet in actions and behavior it seems nothing of the sort. Hey, where's the tolerance guys? oh yeah sure, we bring out the water works, for all of the feminists, gay and transgendered people, but when it comes to "individual rights" "human rights" they aren't even a blip on the radar, are they?
I mean seriously, how many times do we have to hear about butt hurt feminists and gay people moan and bitch about how misunderstood and hard it is for them?

You do realize that these concepts exist and originate (such as social conformity) from a long line of philosophical thought and theories, are you correct? I mean holy fuck, it's not my fault that the majority of the populous would rather feign complete ignorance to any long standing tradition or history of intellectual works that have come before us and instead live in a bland and mindless reality that has been created by the states and large corporations to produce states of passivity, and so the masses can live in a state of self imposed ignorance and complete obliviousness.


I mean the fact that topics like these cannot even be acknowledged if not confront such topics says a profound amount about are society. I mean, the fact that some people can go through their lives with proverbially no sense of self or inner urgency to become self actualized, and seek self determinism is beyond difficult for me to fathom or comprehend. I mean, holy fuck, what this says about you, as an individual.

Surely it denotes qualities of submissiveness in the very least.
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She's just rebelling against social norms. Isn't that what you're all about? I can't imagine why you wouldn't like that.
 
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Yes, as I've gotten along in life, I've become less accepting of conforming to authority for the sake of obedience or jumping on the bandwagon. I'm becoming more hostile towards current bandwagon riding, and I see it every day at work where we're going with the trendy new workflow technique (Scrum™). I'm openly calling it Cargo Cult workflow.
 
I'll conform strategically if I'll get something out of it. I'm secure enough with myself that I don't need to show off my individuality at all times. I don't have to fight to be me because I already won.

“Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win”
~ Sun Tzu, The Art of War
 
Is fear of being psychologically healthy -- i.e. normal -- a disorder?
 
Lurk said:
Is fear of being psychologically healthy -- i.e. normal -- a disorder?
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I'd say not necessarily. It can be more of a misdiagnosis of the problem, I'm beginning to think.

One assumes that they need to be in this state of rebellion to think a little less foggily because they don't want to stop filling their brains with crap and/or start working towards goals. This works partially because maintaining the sense of rebellion is close enough to a goal that it can mimic it.

It's a preliminary theory, but I think there's something to it.
 
In the Wings said:
I'd say not necessarily. It can be more of a misdiagnosis of the problem, I'm beginning to think.

One assumes that they need to be in this state of rebellion to think a little less foggily because they don't want to stop filling their brains with crap and/or start working towards goals. This works partially because maintaining the sense of rebellion is close enough to a goal that it can mimic it.

It's a preliminary theory, but I think there's something to it.
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Smart point!

You know that's not empty flattery; I'm seeing a behavior that annoys me, then tossing the offender in the dumpster.

There is a topic of tremendous importance that I want you to weigh in on.
 
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