IDK, I think the meaning of sensitivity can vary depending on the people and circumstances involved. I have noticed that if I have not owned certain parts of myself or have little or no experience with something I can be extremely insensitive, bordering on cruel, not flattering but the truth. My beliefs of fairness and willingness to learn keep those parts of me in check, thank goodness. I've also found that I can be very sensitive to people who are, have been, or are about to go through deep internal changes. I suppose because I understand and can relate.
Ah, yes; I also agreed. The more we have some experience about one particular thing, the more we can relate and be more sensitive to others who are having a similar thing, in one degree.
I wonder would that experience also drive us to be more insensitive to another group? (For instance, people who had gay relatives would, in turn, be more insensitive to its oppositions)
Sensitivity can also imply empathic and/or psychic abilities, and can sometimes feel a bit like a burden. Having to protect those parts of oneself can become important. I've also been guilty of judging, giving bad advice, and taking things too personally. It's a mixed bag really. Sometimes I'm grateful for it because it has made me who I am, and other times I wish I wasn't as sensitive as I am because it has made me who I am. I suppose this dilemma is mainly about me finding a healthy balance in all of that.
*nod nod*, that can also be one of the meanings...although I dunno if I'm going to call it psychic, as far as mine are concerned.
Well, green grass, and all that.
Thing is, people don't really understand sensitivity or if they do, they view from the outside not from the experience of those who are affected or live with it. They quickly judge it and dismiss it as some kind of emotional weakness without understanding the real workings behind it. It's too common to see people who have it being treated as if they have a deficiency or inadequacy or personality disorder which is damaging and hurtful.
Yep, I see that too.
On the other hand, a lot of people get annoyed with sensitivity, or what is visible from sensitivity not for the sake of itself, but for what it does to people; it cripples them, it stuns them to inaction, or alternatively it drove people to whine and complaint... sometimes without doing anything.
Then a quick look for "what makes them act like that?" >> "They are sensitive" >> "Man, sensitivity sucks".
In other words, from what I'm seeing (Fe/Te perspective?) the world does not care about our sensitivity, but more about what we can do with our state of sensitivity.
I've been part of the inside. Being genuinely misunderstood, seeing people who does not want to care and just wants me to get over it (and not disturb them), being rudely dismissed. Thinking about how there's nothing wrong with me feeling things-- why do you push me more? Why the unnecessary pushing, blaming, shaming me for reacting?
I've been part of the outside. It hurts, seeing and listening to them, seeing them digging their holes deeper.. and being aware that it's just their wiring; as much as I saw it as a defect at that time, I'm also aware that it's how she is-- perhaps to some degree, how she made herself.
Personally, it's a complicated issue.
It's not a piece of clothing you can take on and put on whenever. Too many focus on how they feel about sensitivity rather than try to understand it as a real personality trait that some have in more degree than others. I see too much pity for those who have high sensitivity or a sense from those who don't have that kind of sensitivity that they are superior or better able to handle things more than those who are sensitive when in some cases it's the complete opposite. Someone with high sensitivity will often taken on more emotional weight and bear it for longer periods than others who think it's it makes them thick skinned to be able to easily dismiss other people's emotions or feelings. Those with high emotional sensitivity can handle more emotional crap than many can ever understand yet are made to think of themselves as weaker and instead are told they are too easily affected by things, assuming that's always a bad thing. We live in a world where to be tough and strong means to be unaffected or detached or not be too involved. So, those who do have a particular kind of sensitivity are made to think they are born with some incapacity to manage how emotions affect them. Yes, dealing with emotions can be overwhelming and sometimes paralyzing but it can be a benefit if understand it from a healthy perspective. It's not about being unaffected or pretending to not be affected. It's about learning how to manage the effect our and other emotions on ourselves so that it's doesn't drown us while valuing the gifts that sensitivity does provide us, which are not very often explored, because we end up spending much of our time suppressing or denying it because we're told it's an obstacle to true mental and emotional strength.
But yes, in this, I agreed. Sensitivity can be a wonderful thing-- and is a wonderful thing.
I wonder if sensitivity is related to other things than emotions, though; beliefs, perhaps? (or am I talking about different aspects?)
I'm a bit curious; how do you manage your sensitivity?
Thank you so much for all of this. For basically all of my life I have been that person, burying how I really felt about things because the people around me caused me to feel like I should just "get over it" basically. That I was the one who was wrong. I've always felt like this for as long as I could remember. Which ultimately made me feel completely unsafe truly expressing myself to anyone, so I kept everything to myself to great detriment to my mental and physical health. I'm feeling the effects of this very strongly now as it has built up over the years and it's hard not to feel sort of infuriated that it came to this. Trying to dig myself out of this mess is hard. If I were to suddenly come out with this to a lot of the friends that I used to know, they would raise an eyebrow at me and not take me seriously. Because I projected a completely different sort of person to hide that part of myself. I was trying to cut it out, but you can't surgically alter your own personality. Trying to do so is probably a huge part of what causes a lot of mental illnesses.
Reading this helps though. I don't feel so alone reading things like this. I'm thankful there are others out there who really do get it.
*Hugs Jill*
Thanks for sharing your experience. I've been on your place for QUITE SOME TIME, and it hurts.
Especially when having to project a different image-- and keeping that image despite of what we truly felt.
Sometimes I think letting that mask down and taking the blow is much easier, much healthier, despite the pain.
Other times........eugh.
But still, your pain is heard. *hugs again*