Emotional Sensitivity

[Trifoilum]

Come to think about it, we talked a lot around sensitivity,
Calling people, judging them, giving advice, feeling hurt....
but we never really talked about sensitivity, did we not?

So what is emotional sensitivity?
How sensitive do you think you are? Why does people have different amounts of it?
Which is worse; no sensitivity or too much sensitivity?

People who are more aware might know my bias here.
Do you think sensitivity is important for navigating through the world?
Do you think sensitivity is important for building relationship?

And one MBTI related question:
I considered sensitivity mainly a realm of Fi; but I also acknowledge that Jungian Feelings =/= emotions. (I saw a lot of sensitive and/or butthurt Ti users, for instance) Is it a part of Fi, or do you think it's something that's more...humane?

 

[grt$5vb]

I am extremely sensitive, but it will usually drive me into action. Fierce moving onward. I have noticed certain Fi doms to be almost crippled by their acute sensitivity and it seems to thrust them into inaction and slumber. Not saying one way is superior, just that I have experienced them manifesting in different manners.

 

[Paladin-X]

I can see it at least two ways. Are we talking emotional sensitivity like 'my feelings are easily hurt'? Or emotional sensitivity, like 'we are easily affected by the emotions of others', like a sponge or something?

The former, I would say is more closely linked to Fi and the latter to Fe. (Though either can do both to some degree).

 

[Jill Hives]

I am extremely sensitive, but it will usually drive me into action. Fierce moving onward. I have noticed certain Fi doms to be almost crippled by their acute sensitivity and it seems to thrust them into inaction and slumber. Not saying one way is superior, just that I have experienced them manifesting in different manners.

I hate to admit this, but I am definitely the crippled by intense emotional sensitivity Fi type.

I manifest intense emotional unrest very physically and it makes me quite unwell at times. A bad fight between my husband and I can make me literally ill for a few days afterwards, even if we are "over it" and on good terms again.

It's been a struggle to learn how to cope with to say the least, and to be okay with the fact that I am like this. I've spent a lot of time just constantly wishing I could be different, and wondering why on Earth things affected me so hugely at times. I seem to need more down time than a lot of others I know.

 

[Trifoilum]

I am extremely sensitive, but it will usually drive me into action. Fierce moving onward. I have noticed certain Fi doms to be almost crippled by their acute sensitivity and it seems to thrust them into inaction and slumber. Not saying one way is superior, just that I have experienced them manifesting in different manners.

Hmm, I noticed similar things-- Fi doms / aux are easily hit by ugly words.
Fe doms / aux tend to react with actions, for better or worse.

I can see it at least two ways. Are we talking emotional sensitivity like 'my feelings are easily hurt'? Or emotional sensitivity, like 'we are easily affected by the emotions of others', like a sponge or something?

The former, I would say is more closely linked to Fi and the latter to Fe. (Though either can do both to some degree).

In my meaning it's more of the former than the latter. But I believe the latter can very well be the reason for the former.

Thanks for making the distinction What do you think, MBTI-terms aside?

 

[barbad0s]

So what is emotional sensitivity?

It is readily reacting emotionally to stimuli, just as introverts are easily stimulated and overwhelmed by social activity. It's having a thin psychological boundary. Being emotionally explosive or implosive. Though "sensitivity", I think, is something we usually associate with the more implosive type. Like a peach that bruises easily, "sensitive" implies vulnerability and not so much the tendency to take offensive action.

How sensitive do you think you are?

That depends on the time of month.

I know I'm a very emotional person, but I don't know if it's the same as what the word "sensitivity" implies, per se. I think I am always quite alert when it comes to the emotions of myself and others, but I tend to swallow and hold down any spikes in negative emotion I might have when they pertain to things that I think are minor if expression of myself would be inappropriate around others. Well, it might be sensitivity. I would say I'm more sensitive to emotional input in the way that a barometer is, rather than in the way that a bomb or a wet piece of toilet paper are. To me, my emotions feel like an internal lava lamp that also happens to be transparent and visible to others, where others can pick it up and shake it with just their presence.

Why does people have different amounts of it?

Same reasons that people have all other personality traits in different amounts. When it comes what influences sensitivity specifically, it's hard to say...there are undoubtably a handful of different things that would factor into it.

Which is worse; no sensitivity or too much sensitivity?

I think too much sensitivity would be worse than no sensitivity for an individual harbouring it. It would probably also be much harder for other people to deal with someone who is sensitive beyond the point of others being able to relate to them, than it would be to deal with a robot. It's pure speculation with hypothetical situations like these that could never happen IRL. It would be difficult for individuals at either extremes to be able to function at all in life.

People who are more aware might know my bias here.

Do you think sensitivity is important for navigating through the world?
Do you think sensitivity is important for building relationship?

You're gonna need at least a bit of it so that you can relate to other people, because everyone is at least a little bit sensitive in some way or another. If you aren't naturally very sensitive, you can try to observe others and pick up on the patterns of how it's supposed to work for everyone else that isn't a robot like yourself.

And one MBTI related question:
I considered sensitivity mainly a realm of Fi; but I also acknowledge that Jungian Feelings =/= emotions. (I saw a lot of sensitive and/or butthurt Ti users, for instance) Is it a part of Fi, or do you think it's something that's more...humane?

I actually don't think that Fi users get more butthurt than Fe users. It only APPEARS that way because Fi focuses on personal interpretations of emotions while Fe is more focused on an emotional realm external to the individual that is more collectively relevant, which creates the illusion of having more objective truth. If I'm not mistaken, the bruised peach, totally non logic-related deeply personal asshurt is gonna belong to our Fi-Te friendsies, while the bitchy, aching, passive-aggressive stabbing less personally-anchored asshurt is what comes from our Fe-Ti friendsies.

Hmm, I noticed similar things-- Fi doms / aux are easily hit by ugly words.
Fe doms / aux tend to react with actions, for better or worse.

I agree with this. It seems like Fi users are more bothered by the concept or intention of feeling, while Fe users are more bothered by the result of it.

 

[toska]

For me, an Fe user, I'm really sensitive to picking up on others' emotions and absorbing and internalizing them like they're my own. But it's like it happens subconsciously and I'm not even aware of how much of my emotions are a response to the people surrounding me. I think all people do this to a certain extent, but it just has a greater effect on me. For example a few weeks ago I left my city and went on a trip to another state and I was shocked at how much nicer people were and there was just a more positive, relaxed vibe. I felt less tense. My city is full of really aggressive, disgruntled, racist and hateful people who are always looking for someone else to blame all their problems on. That makes for a stressful, tense environment. This has to be part of what causes my anxiety and depression. Maybe it's time to move...

 

[Trifoilum]

It is readily reacting emotionally to stimuli, just as introverts are easily stimulated and overwhelmed by social activity. It's having a thin psychological boundary. Being emotionally explosive or implosive. Though "sensitivity", I think, is something we usually associate with the more implosive type. Like a peach that bruises easily, "sensitive" implies vulnerability and not so much the tendency to take offensive action.

2 things....
First of all, I never made that association...but it makes some sense
second of all, I think I made that peach analogy in my head this afternoon. Mind hive? >_>;

That depends on the time of month.

*rim-SHOT!*

I know I'm a very emotional person, but I don't know if it's the same as what the word "sensitivity" implies, per se. I think I am always quite alert when it comes to the emotions of myself and others, but I tend to swallow and hold down any spikes in negative emotion I might have when they pertain to things that I think are minor if expression of myself would be inappropriate around others. Well, it might be sensitivity. I would say I'm more sensitive to emotional input in the way that a barometer is, rather than in the way that a bomb or a wet piece of toilet paper are. To me, my emotions feel like an internal lava lamp that also happens to be transparent and visible to others, where others can pick it up and shake it with just their presence.

From a community PoV, what's important is what you did with that emotions and not what you felt; i.e keep your butthurt.
From a personal PoV, though; what you felt is important; the more you feel, the more sensitive you are.
And from both perspective, I would consider you sensitive.

Same reasons that people have all other personality traits in different amounts. When it comes what influences sensitivity specifically, it's hard to say...there are undoubtably a handful of different things that would factor into it.

I agreed. It would be interesting to consider, though; I'd say most people have different degrees of sensitivity, not to mention the concept of 'pushing their buttons'..
But yes, I'm wondering what specifically influences people's sensitivity.

I think too much sensitivity would be worse than no sensitivity for an individual harbouring it. It would probably also be much harder for other people to deal with someone who is sensitive beyond the point of others being able to relate to them, than it would be to deal with a robot. It's pure speculation with hypothetical situations like these that could never happen IRL. It would be difficult for individuals at either extremes to be able to function at all in life.

What about for yourself?
Say, if you are dealing (both receiving and giving words / stimuli) with someone who's sensitive vs someone who's insensitive. Who would be easier to deal with? With whom would you get along better?
People who are more aware might know my bias here.

You're gonna need at least a bit of it so that you can relate to other people, because everyone is at least a little bit sensitive in some way or another. If you aren't naturally very sensitive, you can try to observe others and pick up on the patterns of how it's supposed to work for everyone else that isn't a robot like yourself.

That's for dealing with personal relationship; what about navigating through the world in general?
I made this distinction because I think there are different levels of sensitivity related in circumstances and places (we can extend it to people, but for simplicity sake...). For instance, I considered workplace required less sensitivity than say, personal relationship. Or is it faulty of me to make that distinction?

I actually don't think that Fi users get more butthurt than Fe users. It only APPEARS that way because Fi focuses on personal interpretations of emotions while Fe is more focused on an emotional realm external to the individual that is more collectively relevant, which creates the illusion of having more objective truth. If I'm not mistaken, the bruised peach, totally non logic-related deeply personal asshurt is gonna belong to our Fi-Te friendsies, while the bitchy, aching, passive-aggressive stabbing less personally-anchored asshurt is what comes from our Fe-Ti friendsies.

Makes sense. And yes, I recognize that description of Fe. Fe users tend to criticize the insensitivity in regards to etiquette and/or politeness; a-la 'harumph! How impolite! How rude! How careless!'

I agree with this. It seems like Fi users are more bothered by the concept or intention of feeling, while Fe users are more bothered by the result of it.

Again, I tend to agree with you, niff.

 

[barbad0s]

Mind hive? >_>;

Lulz I think the term is hive mind, dear trifles. /esl lesson
I guess your mind works more like a hive though, with lots of little bees.

From a community PoV, what's important is what you did with that emotions and not what you felt; i.e keep your butthurt.
From a personal PoV, though; what you felt is important; the more you feel, the more sensitive you are.
And from both perspective, I would consider you sensitive.

Hm.. @ the first perspective, "community PoV", robots don't show butthurt either...
I guess a large part of why I don't often express my negative emotions around others when inappropriate/unproductive, is because they will affect the people around me negatively, which will in turn make the atmosphere I'm in even more unpleasant.

What about for yourself?
Say, if you are dealing (both receiving and giving words / stimuli) with someone who's sensitive vs someone who's insensitive. Who would be easier to deal with? With whom would you get along better?

What do you mean when you say "insensitive"? Are you referring to the absence of emotionality, or to being emotionally callous and inconsiderate? If it's the former type, then the evaluation I already made applies still. If it's the latter type, then I'd have to go with someone who is more sensitive being easier to deal with. Unless you can elaborate...
People who are more aware might know my bias here

That's for dealing with personal relationship; what about navigating through the world in general?
I made this distinction because I think there are different levels of sensitivity related in circumstances and places (we can extend it to people, but for simplicity sake...). For instance, I considered workplace required less sensitivity than say, personal relationship. Or is it faulty of me to make that distinction?

Hm... the workplace and circumstances like that do require less sensitivity. But unless you regularly get yourself into situations like getting yourself hired at a workplace that's made up entirely of INTPs LOL, or climbing mountains alone in the wilderness and having to hunt baby deer for nutrition, I think a bit of sensitivity is an asset in most realistic situations that require you to deal with or to influence people at least some portion of the time. I think there are also tons of instances in which too much sensitivity is going to be cripplingly detrimental. Did you have something like this in mind?

Makes sense. And yes, I recognize that description of Fe. Fe users tend to criticize the insensitivity in regards to etiquette and/or politeness; a-la 'harumph! How impolite! How rude! How careless!'

roflmao! i catch myself doing that a lot

Again, I tend to agree with you, niff.

 

[Trifoilum]

Lulz I think the term is hive mind, dear trifles. /esl lesson
I guess your mind works more like a hive though, with lots of little bees.

SHit. *grins* No excuses then. My mind -does- work like a hive...sometimes. They don't sting though. Mostly.

Hm.. @ the first perspective, "community PoV", robots don't show butthurt either...

Which brought us to some depictions of 'false utopia' in movies like Aeon Flux or 1984, where you get a communal sense of peace and safety...in exchange of an absence of emotions.

I guess a large part of why I don't often express my negative emotions around others when inappropriate/unproductive, is because they will affect the people around me negatively, which will in turn make the atmosphere I'm in even more unpleasant.

Niffer, is this Asian upbringing influencing you? I also had that train of thought sometimes...and I felt it's due to my upbringing and culture, that indeed puts 'the community' more than the person.

What do you mean when you say "insensitive"? Are you referring to the absence of emotionality, or to being emotionally callous and inconsiderate? If it's the former type, then the evaluation I already made applies still. If it's the latter type, then I'd have to go with someone who is more sensitive being easier to deal with. Unless you can elaborate...

I would say more of the latter; albeit not exactly callous...that implies malice. More like inconsiderate, yes. The kind of people who will say things 'as it is' in regards of the people listening.

Hm... the workplace and circumstances like that do require less sensitivity. But unless you regularly get yourself into situations like getting yourself hired at a workplace that's made up entirely of INTPs LOL, or climbing mountains alone in the wilderness and having to hunt baby deer for nutrition, I think a bit of sensitivity is an asset in most realistic situations that require you to deal with or to influence people at least some portion of the time. I think there are also tons of instances in which too much sensitivity is going to be cripplingly detrimental. Did you have something like this in mind?

Does an INTP and an ISTP count?

Yep, those are what I've had in mind. Perhaps it's my own experience bias, but in my workplace (familycough) sensitivity gets thrown out from the window....before it can be recognized at all.

chocolaaaate! WAIT THIS IS FROM NIFFER /suspicious

 

[Gaze]

I hate to admit this, but I am definitely the crippled by intense emotional sensitivity Fi type.

I manifest intense emotional unrest very physically and it makes me quite unwell at times. A bad fight between my husband and I can make me literally ill for a few days afterwards, even if we are "over it" and on good terms again.

It's been a struggle to learn how to cope with to say the least, and to be okay with the fact that I am like this. I've spent a lot of time just constantly wishing I could be different, and wondering why on Earth things affected me so hugely at times. I seem to need more down time than a lot of others I know.

This is me. Don't know how else to say it. It's tough because it's seen as oversensitivity but it's just a part of you. It's not something I've been able to simply brush off as many keep suggesting. It's not that simple.

 

[Trifoilum]

I hate to admit this, but I am definitely the crippled by intense emotional sensitivity Fi type.

I manifest intense emotional unrest very physically and it makes me quite unwell at times. A bad fight between my husband and I can make me literally ill for a few days afterwards, even if we are "over it" and on good terms again.

It's been a struggle to learn how to cope with to say the least, and to be okay with the fact that I am like this. I've spent a lot of time just constantly wishing I could be different, and wondering why on Earth things affected me so hugely at times. I seem to need more down time than a lot of others I know.

Somewhat familiar with the physical manifestation of emotional unrest, but admittedly mine is rarely as severe as yours.

This is me. Don't know how else to say it. It's tough because it's seen as oversensitivity but it's just a part of you. It's not something I've been able to simply brush off as many keep suggesting. It's not that simple.

It's much more complicated than that, yes. Oversensitivity isn't cured with numbness..I don't even know what cures oversensitivity (or whether if it -should- be cured at all). Coping, perhaps.
Personally, though? I advocate more accepting than rejecting. Less curing, more taking care of.
What helps would be emotional / psychological resilience.

FWIW, you rarely -act- overreacted here, but I don't know your heart.

For me, an Fe user, I'm really sensitive to picking up on others' emotions and absorbing and internalizing them like they're my own. But it's like it happens subconsciously and I'm not even aware of how much of my emotions are a response to the people surrounding me. I think all people do this to a certain extent, but it just has a greater effect on me. For example a few weeks ago I left my city and went on a trip to another state and I was shocked at how much nicer people were and there was just a more positive, relaxed vibe. I felt less tense. My city is full of really aggressive, disgruntled, racist and hateful people who are always looking for someone else to blame all their problems on. That makes for a stressful, tense environment. This has to be part of what causes my anxiety and depression. Maybe it's time to move...

Oh, yes; that also happened to me. I'm much more sensitive to what others might feel in comparison to myself. I can have quick flashes of awareness about myself and other people, but trying to decipher my own emotions takes much longer time than trying to decipher others.

Maybe you should move

 

[apemon]

This is me. Don't know how else to say it. It's tough because it's seen as oversensitivity but it's just a part of you. It's not something I've been able to simply brush off as many keep suggesting. It's not that simple.

Amen to that. I've been married to an ES for a long time. Recently had what my spiritual guide says was a peak experience and am actualizing. This seems to have brought my feeling side out gangbusters . Tough when we seem to be seen as someone we're not. I thought about a thread about actualization but not sure. Back to the old 'to thyself be true i guess. sigh.

 

[#@&5&49]

Come to think about it, we talked a lot around sensitivity,
Calling people, judging them, giving advice, feeling hurt....
but we never really talked about sensitivity, did we not?

So what is emotional sensitivity?
How sensitive do you think you are? Why does people have different amounts of it?
Which is worse; no sensitivity or too much sensitivity?

People who are more aware might know my bias here.
Do you think sensitivity is important for navigating through the world?
Do you think sensitivity is important for building relationship?

And one MBTI related question:
I considered sensitivity mainly a realm of Fi; but I also acknowledge that Jungian Feelings =/= emotions. (I saw a lot of sensitive and/or butthurt Ti users, for instance) Is it a part of Fi, or do you think it's something that's more...humane?

IDK, I think the meaning of sensitivity can vary depending on the people and circumstances involved. I have noticed that if I have not owned certain parts of myself or have little or no experience with something I can be extremely insensitive, bordering on cruel, not flattering but the truth. My beliefs of fairness and willingness to learn keep those parts of me in check, thank goodness. I've also found that I can be very sensitive to people who are, have been, or are about to go through deep internal changes. I suppose because I understand and can relate.

Sensitivity can also imply empathic and/or psychic abilities, and can sometimes feel a bit like a burden. Having to protect those parts of oneself can become important. I've also been guilty of judging, giving bad advice, and taking things too personally. It's a mixed bag really. Sometimes I'm grateful for it because it has made me who I am, and other times I wish I wasn't as sensitive as I am because it has made me who I am. I suppose this dilemma is mainly about me finding a healthy balance in all of that.

 

[Gaze]

Thing is, people don't really understand sensitivity or if they do, they view from the outside not from the experience of those who are affected or live with it. They quickly judge it and dismiss it as some kind of emotional weakness without understanding the real workings behind it. It's too common to see people who have it being treated as if they have a deficiency or inadequacy or personality disorder which is damaging and hurtful. It's not a piece of clothing you can take on and put on whenever. Too many focus on how they feel about sensitivity rather than try to understand it as a real personality trait that some have in more degree than others. I see too much pity for those who have high sensitivity or a sense from those who don't have that kind of sensitivity that they are superior or better able to handle things more than those who are sensitive when in some cases it's the complete opposite. Someone with high sensitivity will often taken on more emotional weight and bear it for longer periods than others who think it's it makes them thick skinned to be able to easily dismiss other people's emotions or feelings. Those with high emotional sensitivity can handle more emotional crap than many can ever understand yet are made to think of themselves as weaker and instead are told they are too easily affected by things, assuming that's always a bad thing. We live in a world where to be tough and strong means to be unaffected or detached or not be too involved. So, those who do have a particular kind of sensitivity are made to think they are born with some incapacity to manage how emotions affect them. Yes, dealing with emotions can be overwhelming and sometimes paralyzing but it can be a benefit if understand it from a healthy perspective. It's not about being unaffected or pretending to not be affected. It's about learning how to manage the effect our and other emotions on ourselves so that it's doesn't drown us while valuing the gifts that sensitivity does provide us, which are not very often explored, because we end up spending much of our time suppressing or denying it because we're told it's an obstacle to true mental and emotional strength.

 

[Jill Hives]

Thing is, people don't really understand sensitivity or if they do, they view from the outside not from the experience of those who are affected or live with it. They quickly judge it and dismiss it as some kind of emotional weakness without understanding the real workings behind it. It's too common to see people who have it being treated as if they have a deficiency or inadequacy or personality disorder which is damaging and hurtful. It's not a piece of clothing you can take on and put on whenever. Too many focus on how they feel about sensitivity rather than try to understand it as a real personality trait that some have in more degree than others. I see too much pity for those who have high sensitivity or a sense from those who don't have that kind of sensitivity that they are superior or better able to handle things more than those who are sensitive when in some cases it's the complete opposite. Someone with high sensitivity will often taken on more emotional weight and bear it for longer periods than others who think it's it makes them thick skinned to be able to easily dismiss other people's emotions or feelings. Those with high emotional sensitivity can handle more emotional crap than many can ever understand yet are made to think of themselves as weaker and instead are told they are too easily affected by things, assuming that's always a bad thing. We live in a world where to be tough and strong means to be unaffected or detached or not be too involved. So, those who do have a particular kind of sensitivity are made to think they are born with some incapacity to manage how emotions affect them. Yes, dealing with emotions can be overwhelming and sometimes paralyzing but it can be a benefit if understand it from a healthy perspective. It's not about being unaffected or pretending to not be affected. It's about learning how to manage the effect our and other emotions on ourselves so that it's doesn't drown us while valuing the gifts that sensitivity does provide us, which are not very often explored, because we end up spending much of our time suppressing or denying it because we're told it's an obstacle to true mental and emotional strength.

Thank you so much for all of this. For basically all of my life I have been that person, burying how I really felt about things because the people around me caused me to feel like I should just "get over it" basically. That I was the one who was wrong. I've always felt like this for as long as I could remember. Which ultimately made me feel completely unsafe truly expressing myself to anyone, so I kept everything to myself to great detriment to my mental and physical health. I'm feeling the effects of this very strongly now as it has built up over the years and it's hard not to feel sort of infuriated that it came to this. Trying to dig myself out of this mess is hard. If I were to suddenly come out with this to a lot of the friends that I used to know, they would raise an eyebrow at me and not take me seriously. Because I projected a completely different sort of person to hide that part of myself. I was trying to cut it out, but you can't surgically alter your own personality. Trying to do so is probably a huge part of what causes a lot of mental illnesses.

Reading this helps though. I don't feel so alone reading things like this. I'm thankful there are others out there who really do get it.

 

[Trifoilum]

IDK, I think the meaning of sensitivity can vary depending on the people and circumstances involved. I have noticed that if I have not owned certain parts of myself or have little or no experience with something I can be extremely insensitive, bordering on cruel, not flattering but the truth. My beliefs of fairness and willingness to learn keep those parts of me in check, thank goodness. I've also found that I can be very sensitive to people who are, have been, or are about to go through deep internal changes. I suppose because I understand and can relate.

Ah, yes; I also agreed. The more we have some experience about one particular thing, the more we can relate and be more sensitive to others who are having a similar thing, in one degree.

I wonder would that experience also drive us to be more insensitive to another group? (For instance, people who had gay relatives would, in turn, be more insensitive to its oppositions)

Sensitivity can also imply empathic and/or psychic abilities, and can sometimes feel a bit like a burden. Having to protect those parts of oneself can become important. I've also been guilty of judging, giving bad advice, and taking things too personally. It's a mixed bag really. Sometimes I'm grateful for it because it has made me who I am, and other times I wish I wasn't as sensitive as I am because it has made me who I am. I suppose this dilemma is mainly about me finding a healthy balance in all of that.

*nod nod*, that can also be one of the meanings...although I dunno if I'm going to call it psychic, as far as mine are concerned.
Well, green grass, and all that.

Thing is, people don't really understand sensitivity or if they do, they view from the outside not from the experience of those who are affected or live with it. They quickly judge it and dismiss it as some kind of emotional weakness without understanding the real workings behind it. It's too common to see people who have it being treated as if they have a deficiency or inadequacy or personality disorder which is damaging and hurtful.

Yep, I see that too.
On the other hand, a lot of people get annoyed with sensitivity, or what is visible from sensitivity not for the sake of itself, but for what it does to people; it cripples them, it stuns them to inaction, or alternatively it drove people to whine and complaint... sometimes without doing anything.
Then a quick look for "what makes them act like that?" >> "They are sensitive" >> "Man, sensitivity sucks".
In other words, from what I'm seeing (Fe/Te perspective?) the world does not care about our sensitivity, but more about what we can do with our state of sensitivity.

I've been part of the inside. Being genuinely misunderstood, seeing people who does not want to care and just wants me to get over it (and not disturb them), being rudely dismissed. Thinking about how there's nothing wrong with me feeling things-- why do you push me more? Why the unnecessary pushing, blaming, shaming me for reacting?
I've been part of the outside. It hurts, seeing and listening to them, seeing them digging their holes deeper.. and being aware that it's just their wiring; as much as I saw it as a defect at that time, I'm also aware that it's how she is-- perhaps to some degree, how she made herself.

Personally, it's a complicated issue.

It's not a piece of clothing you can take on and put on whenever. Too many focus on how they feel about sensitivity rather than try to understand it as a real personality trait that some have in more degree than others. I see too much pity for those who have high sensitivity or a sense from those who don't have that kind of sensitivity that they are superior or better able to handle things more than those who are sensitive when in some cases it's the complete opposite. Someone with high sensitivity will often taken on more emotional weight and bear it for longer periods than others who think it's it makes them thick skinned to be able to easily dismiss other people's emotions or feelings. Those with high emotional sensitivity can handle more emotional crap than many can ever understand yet are made to think of themselves as weaker and instead are told they are too easily affected by things, assuming that's always a bad thing. We live in a world where to be tough and strong means to be unaffected or detached or not be too involved. So, those who do have a particular kind of sensitivity are made to think they are born with some incapacity to manage how emotions affect them. Yes, dealing with emotions can be overwhelming and sometimes paralyzing but it can be a benefit if understand it from a healthy perspective. It's not about being unaffected or pretending to not be affected. It's about learning how to manage the effect our and other emotions on ourselves so that it's doesn't drown us while valuing the gifts that sensitivity does provide us, which are not very often explored, because we end up spending much of our time suppressing or denying it because we're told it's an obstacle to true mental and emotional strength.

But yes, in this, I agreed. Sensitivity can be a wonderful thing-- and is a wonderful thing.

I wonder if sensitivity is related to other things than emotions, though; beliefs, perhaps? (or am I talking about different aspects?)
I'm a bit curious; how do you manage your sensitivity?

Thank you so much for all of this. For basically all of my life I have been that person, burying how I really felt about things because the people around me caused me to feel like I should just "get over it" basically. That I was the one who was wrong. I've always felt like this for as long as I could remember. Which ultimately made me feel completely unsafe truly expressing myself to anyone, so I kept everything to myself to great detriment to my mental and physical health. I'm feeling the effects of this very strongly now as it has built up over the years and it's hard not to feel sort of infuriated that it came to this. Trying to dig myself out of this mess is hard. If I were to suddenly come out with this to a lot of the friends that I used to know, they would raise an eyebrow at me and not take me seriously. Because I projected a completely different sort of person to hide that part of myself. I was trying to cut it out, but you can't surgically alter your own personality. Trying to do so is probably a huge part of what causes a lot of mental illnesses.

Reading this helps though. I don't feel so alone reading things like this. I'm thankful there are others out there who really do get it.

*Hugs Jill*
Thanks for sharing your experience. I've been on your place for QUITE SOME TIME, and it hurts.
Especially when having to project a different image-- and keeping that image despite of what we truly felt.

Sometimes I think letting that mask down and taking the blow is much easier, much healthier, despite the pain.
Other times........eugh.

But still, your pain is heard. *hugs again*

 

[sprinkles]

I'm highly sensitive and probably wouldn't feel alive if I was not. I'm sensitive enough that it hurts me to see other people get marginalized.

I've been known to turn around and defend people that I don't even particularly like all that much if I see somebody being cruel to them.

To me the root of sensitivity is sense. It's like your emotional skin. Your spiritual nerves. It's a sliding scale where being too sensitive equates to pain, but not sensitive enough makes you actually clumsy and possibly destructive, because like with a hand that cannot feel, without sensitivity you cannot gauge your force. Without sensitivity you have no finesse.

The insensitive hand can only handle the most coarse and basic situations. It just kind of pushes things around. It's hamfisted and clumsy and fails at any delicate operation.

 

[#@&5&49]

I have noticed a couple of things. One, the people closest to me are like me, sensitive, in a variety of ways. We can see each other and have an appreciation for the pros and cons of sensitivity. People who can not see a persons sensitivity, or can not see their own sensitivity either at all or in certain circumstances, will often hurt a more sensitive person. It's like killing a part of themselves over and over again, or actually denying a part of themselves over and over again.

I have also noticed another strange phenomenon. Sometimes people will unconsciously seek out a sensitive person. Like there is a part of them that needs healing and they need help to see this part of themselves that is buried so far inside of them that they need help to experience it. Basically, people in a great deal of emotional pain who are having a lot of trouble recognizing and/or dealing with it. More often than not these folks are very difficult to be around.

I've also often heard the myth "artists are sensitive" or "having the sensitivity of an artist". I'm not sure I believe this. I've known many artists who were anything but sensitive, down right callous. So artistic ability and sensitivity do not necessarily go hand in hand.

I forgot to add this. I have also noticed that if you are sensitive and work with children, the children that are sensitive will flock to you like moths to a flame, and so will the ones needing help.

 

[Gaze]

I have also noticed another strange phenomenon. Sometimes people will unconsciously seek out a sensitive person. Like there is a part of them that needs healing and they need help to see this part of themselves that is buried so far inside of them that they need help to experience it. Basically, people in a great deal of emotional pain who are having a lot of trouble recognizing and/or dealing with it. More often than not these folks are very difficult to be around.

OMG, yes! This is happened quite a few times where people are just drawn to you because they feel you have a certain understanding, acceptance, or compassion that they feel they can't get anywhere else, so seek you to help them feel better, and as you said, emotionally heal, but once they benefit from this healing form of sensitivity, and get better, they move on. It's almost as if you were their caretaker at an inn for a time and then they moved on to finish the rest of their journey elsewhere.