Emotional needs | INFJ Forum

Emotional needs

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Mar 26, 2010.

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  1. Gaze

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    What emotional need or needs are the most important to you? And how are you affected when they are not fulfilled?
     
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    #1 Gaze, Mar 26, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2010
  2. Siamese cat

    Siamese cat Madame Cat strikes again

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    I'll pick this:

    accepted
    free
    private
    treated fairly
    challenged

    I've noticed that most of this I won't get if I don't openly request it, although I do my fare share to fulfill else's emotional needs without asking. I'm always baffled why do people consider respecting others privacy to be such an optional act. Or that respecting and acknowledging someones differences should be normal, as opposed to trying to fit everyone into some stereotype and making a big fuss if that's not possible.
     
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  3. OP
    Gaze

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  4. Altruistic Muse

    Altruistic Muse Community Member

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    Challenged, in control and understood are probably the most important. I feel like a lot of people think they understand me but there are very few that actually appreciate my perspective. I need to feel in control of my plans, in the short and medium term especially. I hate when people change plans on me, or throw an event at me unexpectedly. And I need to be challenged, or intellectually stimulated. I could not be with someone who I could not have abstract conversations with, and who didn't find everything interesting. In fact I've done it before and it's not been pleasing.
     
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  5. bamf

    bamf Is Watching You
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    My list of the most important would include the following

    admired
    believed in
    confident
    forgiving
    free
    loved
    needed
    respected
    trusted
     
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  6. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    I think it's easier to observe this in other people than to describe it in yourself. for eg. It's pretty obvious to see when someone needs to be appreciated, but recognizing your own need to be appreciated would have to be done through a thick cloud of mental bias.
     
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  7. anica

    anica dark dreamer
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    acknowledged
    challenged
    competent
    confident
    free
    helpful
    loved
    private
    respected
    trusted
    valued

    When my need for acknowledgment, respect and feeling valued aren't met, my self-esteem drops, I feel frustrated and sometimes use less-than-effective means to try to get them met. When I'm not challenged, I quickly become bored; this unmet need also affects my confidence and competency, so all three of these are linked. Without enough privacy, I feel trapped and begin to get quite grumpy and my thinking becomes less clear. My need for freedom is always tempered by my need to be helpful and trusted, but I can live with this. Love is probably my strongest need and fortunately I am surrounded by people who love me. When I feel unloved is when I feel most smothered, oddly enough.
     
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  8. Jasmine85

    Jasmine85 Regular Poster

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    emotional need to feel:

    --- most important to me:
    capable
    competent
    confident
    understanding
    private
    respected
    free
    appreciated
    in control

    --- quite important to me:
    helpful
    accepted
    acknowledged
    admired
    fulfilled
    important
    clear (not confused)
    safe / secure
    trusted
    supported
    treated fairly

    --- less important to me:
    needed
    helped
    forgiven
    challenged
    listened to
    loved
    productive / useful
    heard
    noticed
    valued
    worthy
    reassured
    approved of
    forgiving
    believed in
    included
    powerful
    recognized
    understood
     
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  9. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    this thread is over 9000
     
  10. Siamese cat

    Siamese cat Madame Cat strikes again

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