Do you often try to rationalize your feelings out of existence?
- Thread starter Gaze
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- Nov 12, 2008
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I don't try to rationalise them out of existence, so much as try to deal with them rationally. Regardless of what I do, I will occasionally experience strong emotions (positive or negative ones) - I try to take the emotion I might be experiencing into account when making my decisions.
For instance, when I am irritated with someone, I delegate someone else to deal with or judge that person's performance, because I know that I will probably lack objectivity.
For instance, when I am irritated with someone, I delegate someone else to deal with or judge that person's performance, because I know that I will probably lack objectivity.
The good feelings, no. I relish in those as they are.
The bad feelings, yes. I dissect them till I find out the why, how, what, where and everything. It helps me handle them better and avoid feeling that way again in the future, or at least, they won't hurt so much.
The bad feelings, yes. I dissect them till I find out the why, how, what, where and everything. It helps me handle them better and avoid feeling that way again in the future, or at least, they won't hurt so much.
does everyone agree that this is healthy?
i think this is healthy and i think i do this when i am being healthy. when i'm not being healthy i tell myself i have no feelings or my feelings don't matter enough to be worth paying attention to and then i feel numb and sleepy.
This^^^^^ exactly. Yeah, it sometimes just gets worse when i deny or suppress the feelings.
No. I do not think this is healthy. What about shadow work? What about the hurt and ignored aspects of yourself that are hidden in the dark? They have very strong 'bad' or negative feelings and they have power as long as they remain hidden within you.
I am trying to discover all the hidden bad, painful, negative emotions roiling within me and welcoming them into the light. The only way I've found to do this without getting caught up in the emotion, is to invoke the observer in me - adopt a nurturing motherly kind of role - and watch the feeling/emotion as it unfolds in me as if I were listening to a child tell me their story of hurt.
Afterwards - my heart feels lighter.
This has proven to be very enlightening for me...
I completely agree. I can't always rationalize them completely away, but I sure try.
I don't really try to use rational thought much at all, actually. Rational thought and logic are good when it comes to solving problems related to systems, such as money, societal obligations, education etc., but emotions and irrational ideas help me make sense of the theoretical and emotional aspects of life, like relationships, new ideas, the unexplained aspects of life, and spirituality, which I value more.
I try to rationalize my emotions all the time. It seems that I can't function properly if I allow myself to get too wrapped up in emotions. It's a domino effect for me. The more I feel, the more I tend to get wrapped up in my own head and my life suddenly becomes a lot more unproductive and isolated.
I've actually become quite adept at rationalizations and am able to pretty much experience little to no emotion at all. I understand that this isn't exactly maintaining a balance and is likely not in my best interest, but sometimes I feel it's better if I just use this coping mechanism to push through so that I can deal with the fall out at a later time.
I've actually become quite adept at rationalizations and am able to pretty much experience little to no emotion at all. I understand that this isn't exactly maintaining a balance and is likely not in my best interest, but sometimes I feel it's better if I just use this coping mechanism to push through so that I can deal with the fall out at a later time.
Back when I felt I had reason to avoid experiencing emotion (too much pain), I never much engaged in rationalization. I guess it just wasn't my natural preference. I tended toward depersonalization, and later, drugs.
These days, I've come to accept how I feel, and I value the experience of being one with both my joys and my sorrows. The ability to be present with and vulnerable to my own suffering is a gift that I have no words to describe.
Part of learning (for me) about what it is To Love was learning to accept my own person, with neither judgement or condition. Part of that acceptance is the awareness of, and respect for, my emotional experience.
My emotions are a blessing to my being, and I receive them with open arms. Yea, pain is exactly that, but at the same time, being open to it also means I am able to experience unbridled joy, pleasure, and wonder.
I wouldn't trade that for the world.
bless
These days, I've come to accept how I feel, and I value the experience of being one with both my joys and my sorrows. The ability to be present with and vulnerable to my own suffering is a gift that I have no words to describe.
Part of learning (for me) about what it is To Love was learning to accept my own person, with neither judgement or condition. Part of that acceptance is the awareness of, and respect for, my emotional experience.
My emotions are a blessing to my being, and I receive them with open arms. Yea, pain is exactly that, but at the same time, being open to it also means I am able to experience unbridled joy, pleasure, and wonder.
I wouldn't trade that for the world.
bless
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yes, I used to do this a lot. But I came to realize how it's destructive towards my heart which I value highly. "Safety" isn't necessarily what is safe---especially if you keep pushing your heart away from something it really desires.
If I'm not trying to "rationalize them away," I'm definitely over-thinking my feelings. I often can't decide what or how I feel, and why I feel the way I do. I eventually get so confused, I do my best to either ignore the discomfort or distract myself with something.