For younger and older, do we need rebellion and conflict to grow or mature?
There's a strong belief we have in our culture, that someone must struggle through pain, conflict, or rebellion and experience "growing pains" in order to grow and mature? Is this necessarily true?
Rebellion is a tactic, nothing more. Someone who rebels for a long period of time, is a rebel. The point here is that one mus always know why one is rebelling or for what purpose or principle. Someone who rebels just for the sake of being a contrarian or just for validation or vanity isn't going to last a long time.
On a more general level, nobody starts where they want to end up. Therefore, a process of change must take place. Sometimes the strategy is trial and error, sometimes it's formulating a set of principles, most of the time is a mixture of both. The important thing is to understand that rebellion is best used in defense of principles.
There are also good and bad ways to rebel. Rebelling with violence is a means to scorch the earth or some other battlefield. Rebelling with love is a way to repair or bring about understanding without the need of the other's approval. In short, it's defending boundaries. Ghandi comes to mind as an example of a loving rebellion.
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Nobody really starts from where they want to end up. Therefore, change is necessary. Some change is easy, some change is hard. But if you really want to reach your goal, then you must "pay the price" or make those hard changes. For instance, if you have a strong prejudice against making right turns and you're stuck in a round about or a cul de sac, then you must make that hard change and make that right turn to get out and reach your destination.
Some of the most difficult changes that humans face are the ones which are in conflict between nurture and nature. The all vary like abstaining from a chocolate candy sundae, to solving the existential crisis of "survival instinct" vs "we'll all gonna die anyway". Some of the more difficult ones are overcoming fear/death, and coming to realize that validation can only come from within.
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Protect your principles. If you must, rebel with love and understanding, otherwise the other side will see it as an unprovoked attack. It's about a sense of justice with respect to a set of held principles.