Do opposites really attract?
- Thread starter Gaze
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Not for me. Well, actually, I tend to date girls who are opposite of me sexually because the polarity works out well. Other than that, I stick to my own kind. If for no other reason than because those types of girls are the only sorts who "get" (read: tolerate) me and vice versa. Otherwise, I wind up steamrolling them and subsequently get bored which is a waste of everyone's time.
*Ahem*
Boys are stupid
Attracting the opposite is a complex phenomenon. It is not simply attracting a different "personality" trait as you assume. The underlying deeper meaning is always found in the person who chose the opposite person. Various reasons could include choosing an opposite partner to subconsciously create the same relationship one has with their parent of opposite sex. Or choosing an opposite partner to find more balance in one's characteristic or the opposite partner brings out a potential side that needs to be adjusted in the person. Or on more superficial level choosing an opposite to create challenge or mere present excitement and move on once the excitement falls into a mundane level.
Whatever the case; opposites could have different external characteristic from the outside but to make it work in the long term the underlying belief systems and morals and values need to come into agreement. They can have different likes, activities or forms of expression but the foundation of the relationship in what they believe has to be congruent to work through the differences.
Sometimes the differences are what a person exactly needs in order to experience and learn about personal relationships no matter how " bad" or "good" it may seem.
Opposites relationship teaches compromise, learning to look from the others perspective, learning to let the other person be, learning to not control, learning to be with others who are not like you, learning new experiences you would not normally do on your own and eventually be tested outside of your comfort zone. Its a bumpy ride but it never gets boring!
Whatever the case; opposites could have different external characteristic from the outside but to make it work in the long term the underlying belief systems and morals and values need to come into agreement. They can have different likes, activities or forms of expression but the foundation of the relationship in what they believe has to be congruent to work through the differences.
Sometimes the differences are what a person exactly needs in order to experience and learn about personal relationships no matter how " bad" or "good" it may seem.
Opposites relationship teaches compromise, learning to look from the others perspective, learning to let the other person be, learning to not control, learning to be with others who are not like you, learning new experiences you would not normally do on your own and eventually be tested outside of your comfort zone. Its a bumpy ride but it never gets boring!
I think long term relationships between extravert and introvert CAN work IF both are willing to compromise and often times it does not last very long (personal experience).
When people talk about "opposites" in this context they usually mean "similar" people. Somehow they see the one major difference between the two as the axis, as in extroverted-introverted. Opposites in the strict definition, e.g. ENTP-ISTJ: No, or perhaps when you're young or inexperienced. "Opposites" in the sense of being similar, e.g. ENTP-INTJ: Yes.
Why do people always think this combo is a good one? I certainly wouldn't want an ENTP partner.
And now that I think about it wouldn't ESTP be more opposite than ENTP?
Really? Isn't it always about ENFP-INTJ? And I was thinking more in terms of attraction rather than actual relationships.
Yes, but ESTP-INTJ isn't a good combo.
Ah, INTJ. Maybe. somehow I read that as INFJ-ENTP probably because that's the one I hear a lot. The INTJ one I hear a lot is INTJ-ENFP.
I'm an INFJ and I'm most attracted to INTJs and other INFJs.